Swiping the steam from the mirror, worry stiffened my frame as I ran my hand over Ember's forced mate marking. It had faded to a scar but still vibrated under my touch. I'd spent almost thirty minutes in the shower scrubbing away every place she'd touched.
Chest deflating, exhaustion plagued my body; I'd been shielded from the horror of what had happened by surrendering control to my wolf. But now, my mind crawled over every single touch, every thought. The feel on her mouth on mine, her taste sweet, yet repulsive. The sinking of her teeth in my throat had almost been my undoing.
I shuddered, shutting my eyes. How does a person put something like that behind them? Move on... forget?
Opening my eyes, the memory stared back at me, unforgiving. Ember's mark was a stark reminder, an everlasting stain of what she'd taken, of what I would have to live with.
My wolf whimpered, skulking to the back of my mind, alone and unresponsive.
During our captivity, he'd been conflicted. He'd wanted to side and protect me but at the same time the pull to his mate had been strong and seductive. And I'd wanted every fibre of the man that I was to be angry with him, but did I have the right? To him, she was his one true mate.
And knowing how I felt for Willa, I had to at least try to recognise his pain, his loss and suffer his grief and hopefully help him heal. We were a part of each other. One didn't exist without the other.
In practice, it was harder. The anger crashed down in waves. I'd hated no one my entire life, and I didn't want to carry the bitterness of hate, but damn, it was testing my resolve.
Running my hand across my forehead, tension tied me in knots. I would need to tell Willa. But how do you start a conversation like that? Would she believe me? Was it rape when my body had responded to her touch?
I winced.
Would Willa think I'm tainted? Reject me?
Fear choked me as I scratched at the mark, scraping my fingernails across it, drawing blood.
No. My wolf whimpered, feeling my pain.
Focus on Willa. Our future. I gripped the edges of the basin.
Her words flooded my brain. Willa said she loved me. Had enough love for the both of us. And I had to believe she would never turn her back on me... on us.
I shook my head. No, she wouldn't, never. Her feelings for me were honest and the strength in her words hid no deceit.
Willa was everything that Ember wasn't.
Pure. Beautiful. Mine.
Turning away from the mirror, I dressed. It was time to face my fears.
Heading out of the room, my senses picked up Willa's scent with ease. In truth, it heightened my senses having spent so many days as a wolf. And now standing outside her door, I raised my hand, then dropped it, fisting it by my side. Knock, coward.
Raising my hand again, I almost stumbled as Willa appeared, stood facing me with a smile so warm it heated me from the inside out. She'd scooped her long white hair into a ponytail, and smelled freshly showered, and along with a citrusy scent, her own unique smell, akin to the woodland... and daisies and a mishmash of every flower I couldn't name poured over me. It was intoxicating. The dress she was wearing was pretty and decorated her slender frame perfectly, and as my eyes dipped down, she wore no shoes. Bare feet greeted me as she bounced on her tiptoes, excitement danced in her eyes.
"Come in." She shifted to one side and ushered me in. "I wasn't sure if you would come and find me. I thought you may sleep or at least—be resting."
Slowly shaking my head. "No, no, I wanted to see you. I need to-" Stopping, I sucked in a breath, my Adam's apple slowly shifted.
Willa's smile widened, but I couldn't miss the concern now shadowing her eyes. "We can go for a walk, or just talk here," she offered
"I'm good here, if you are?'
She shifted on her feet. "Here's good. No one will bother us." I looked around her room. It was big and decorated simply with one wall covered in shelves of books. Behind me was a bed but didn't look recently slept in. Drinking in the rest of the room, huge double doors led onto a balcony.
"Come, sit." Pointing to the sofa, I followed. She sat and patted the space next to her.
I sat, my knee brushing up against hers. My breath caught and my heart double tapped as energy passed from her to me, almost an organic reaction, as if our bodies would know each other anywhere. This happened every time she was close and even stronger when we touched.
I'd not felt it with Ember.
"You don't have to talk if you don't want to. We can just sit here." She placed her hand over mine.
I'd come to talk. So why was it now so difficult? Pain constricted in my chest as I drew in a serrated breath. It was the shame, crushing, adding weight to my chest, crippling my words. Sweat gathered along my hairline.
As if she could read my mind, Willa sat up, twisting her body to face mine. She reached for my face, turning it toward her as she cupped my cheeks. "You don't have to talk, Sylar. It's okay." Her steady finger brushed the hair from my eyes, her gentle caress both soothed and protected me. She pressed her lips to my forehead. In no way sexual, just comforting.
Relief moved through me as a swell of emotion overrode any thought of what happened, leaving me in drowsy calm peace that stilled my mind.
She was what I needed. The calm to my inner storm.
Tipping my face up, her lips brushed over my cheeks, tracing, barely touching, softer than silk. "I missed you, Willa," my words scarcely above a whisper.
Lighter than air, her breath warmed my cheek. "Let me love you. Nothing you could tell me would make me feel differently." I could feel her sincerity. "I'll help you heal and share your pain. Trust me," she whispered as my eyes fell closed.
I would not fight her. Her touch was what I needed, craved. Only hers alone would fix me. Talking would come later.
Slowly, she pressed her lips to mine. Cautiously, the tip of her tongue traced the seam of my lips. Her unique taste and scent flooded my nose, so soft, so feminine. It sang out to my body, touching my soul.
My heart thundered in my chest as instinct kicked in. Slow and sensual, my lips parted, and hers grew bolder, drawing me away from my fears...fear of her rejection and the numb exhaustion I'd suffered since the shift.
She leaned a little closer, pressing into our kiss, lulling me into a place where I could only think of her touch and the love she offered and presented without expectation.
My chest cavity expanded as my blood thickened, filling my veins with something other than shame. This here, now will Willa was right. It was what I wanted. My dick thought so too as he stiffened, pushing against the material of my sweats.
My body felt primed, strumming with energy that I hadn't felt in days. My hands reached for her waist, as I pushed further into the sofa, pulling her with me, lifting her to sit on my lap.
Willa read my need and shuffled to straggle me without breaking our kiss.
I didn't want to think, only feel. Lose myself in her as she set a fire inside.
We kissed, but it was more than just kissing. She was breathing life back into me. The kiss deepened, hot and fiery as she moaned into my mouth and my hands roamed down her back.
Breathless, she pulled back. Our eyes met, her cheeks rosy and lips looked well and truly kissed.
She didn't speak, as her small fingers diverted to the buttons of her dress and, one by one, they opened to reveal the prettiest white bra I'd ever seen. My lips parted as she lifted my hands and placed one over each breast. They were simply perfect, just like her, as I watched them rise and fall with each breath. My thumb slid across the swell where the cups of her bra met flesh.
"You're so beautiful Willa."
She smiled, but then ripped herself from me, hopping off my lap to stand.
My mouth dropped as she slipped the dress from her shoulders, and I watched it fall to the floor.
"I want you, Sylar."
It's déjà vu. Only this time, as she dangled the ultimatum, there was no way I would make the same mistake twice. And every look, every slight gesture screamed she wanted this, wanted me.
And I wanted her. Desperate to make new memories to replace the dark ones. Willa was the only woman, mate I wanted in my life, my bed.
"This is ours, Sylar. No one else's and nothing gets to take whatever happens next away from us—ever." I reached over my shoulder and tugged my t-shirt off. Willa's eyes dimmed with intense desire, and I wouldn't deny I liked the way she was looking at me.
My pulse pounded in my neck as my heart skipped a beat.
Her eyes dropped to my bottoms and just a quick, they're off as I kicked them away. Willa stepped up to me, rising on her toes, her lips pressed against mine. Hot. Needy as I pulled her closer, her soft skin so warm under my fingers.
A feverish need kicked in, making me a little lightheaded as my tongue slid inside her mouth, releasing an explosion of taste and feelings. Willa 's hand ran up my arms, higher, tangling in my hair.
We're doing this.
My hand caressed over her ribs, lower, following the curve of her hip as my mouth trailed kisses along her jaw and down her slim neck. Willa's breathing stepped up as my other hand smoothed across the bare skin, tracing her spine to feel her shiver. She was hot, her whimpers making me painfully hard and eager, my dick nudging just below her naval.
Entwining our fingers; her skin left my lips as a breeze cut between us. "Let's lie down... on my bed." She didn't wait for a reply as she walked us backwards, and I followed. A small smile lifted the corner of her mouth before gripping her bottom lip between her teeth.
She looked every bit of the sensual woman she was. A Goddess. Mine.
Releasing her hold. Both her small hands disappeared around her back to unclasp her bra and then slid down her arms, dropping to the floor. Hooking a finger in her knickers, they too end up next to the bra.
I followed her lead and discarded my boxers. My over eager and willing dick twitched as she looked at him in awe, her eyes widening.
Without a word, she sat on her bed, scooting back to still in the middle before lying down.
I stood watching in wonder of her perfectness and surprising confidence. "If you're done watching." She teased a smile. "I want you here with me." She crooked a finger and if being pulled, I climbed onto the bed, careful not to hurt her, caging her beneath me.
"Hmmm, better." Her hands wrapped around my neck, pulling my mouth to hers to deliver another searing kiss.
My hand coasted over her bare breast, her small nipple brushed against my palm, and it dawned on me. I've dreamt this so many times, but dreams didn't touch the reality of being here, now. This was so much better.
Our lips separated, barely a breath separates us. "I want you, Sylar."
She wanted me. But I more than wanted her - I needed her.
Willa shifted her legs wider, opening them, offering me unrestricted access, as her hands ran up and down my sides, delicate little touches, but each leaving a trail of heat awakening and firing across each nerve end.
Trailing my mouth over her jaw, down her throat, her rapidly beating pulse brought upon the urge to sink my teeth, join us in more than just the physical. Resisting the bite. I kissed and licked my way lower, to seek her breast, sucking in her pert nipple, loving her taste... sweet.
Her hands froze, fingers digging in, clawing and kneading in time with my sucking and kissing.
"Yes, Sylar," she whimpered, arching up into my mouth.
One of her hands moved to come around, squeezing between us as she tentatively wrapped her hand around my dick, gently exploring, up and down, rubbing her finger over the top to smear moisture.
I shivered. Holy Goddess! I could have come alone with nothing more than her touching me. I lifted my head from her breast.
"Willa," gasping. "I won't last long if you touch me." My voice sounded pained.
Breathless, "We can't have that. I want you inside me when you come."
Shit, talking like that wasn't helping either. Again, taking the lead, she positioned my dick, pressing against her entrance, allowing her wetness to mix with mine.
The scent of her, along with her arousal, was all around me. It consumed my every thought...I was lost in her.
"Now, please," she whispered.
She didn't have to ask me twice. Slowly spreading her open, I pushed in as she raised her hips.
Holy Shit! Tight. Hot. Wet. Ecstasy.
Her inner walls slowly accommodated me, slightly relaxed. It's snug, taut. There's not a cat-in-hells-chance I would last long.
Almost fully in, I let out a held breath as she held onto me. Her inner muscles rippled around my dick. Slowly I started to move, till I was fully seated before drawing back. Her eyes opened. She's watching me, watch her. I'd never seen such a beautiful sight.
Her thighs gripped me tighter. "You can move a little faster. I won't break." She shyly smiled.
Part of me just wanted to keep it slow, make it last. This was new to me and honestly, I didn't have a clue if I'm doing it right. Dropping my mouth back on hers, our tongues teased one another, deepening our kiss. I pulled out and thrust back in, swallowing her moan and gasp, and her hands squeezed my arse.
Repeating, building a rhythm, I'm trying to keep some control, but its spiralling on each thrust edging closer to that invisible finish line.
I couldn't hold it.
Tensing, an electric charge shot down my spine, out through my dick coming in an almighty burst. Sweet goddess. I could barely see straight.
Willa muttered against my lips; my eyes tightly closed; I couldn't make out what she'd said. The intense emotions and sensations hitting me over and over made me unable to grasp what's just happened.
Crazy I know? But honestly, I wasn't even sure there were words that could begin to express them.
Finally opening my eyes, I edged back to see the same look in her eyes. Both of us have lost the power of speech as my head dropped into the crook of her neck, still breathing heavily. I licked her damp skin as her hands moved up to my hair, tangling themselves as her heartbeat still raced as quick as my own.
Minutes, seconds, hell, I don't even know how much time passed with us still lying here, joined.
"I love you, Sylar." I heard her whisper.
Lifting my head, her eyes were glassy, but right there I could see everything I needed to know. "I love you, Willa."
She pulled me to her lips, kissing me sweetly.
In the far darkest part of my mind, I heard the faint whimper of my wolf. He'd felt everything I just experienced and in my mind's eyes, he nodded, accepting Willa would be my mate, his mate. His eyes also told me he would heal in time. We had our mate, and she would love us both.