Yin walked into the room and saw War still sleeping soundly. The beeping sound echoed sending a slight relieve to Yin’s heart. He quietly put the stuff he was carrying on the bedside table and decided to change the water in the humidifier. When he came back, War was still asleep. He went to his side and stared the angelic face. It’s been 4 years but Yin still have butterflies in his stomach wherever he saw War…seems like it was yesterday that they started going out…
********************
16 January 2017
“Yin…” War said when he and Yin were walking at a small park near his apartment.
“Hmm…” the latter replied shortly.
“Shall we date?”
Yin froze. He turned around and stared at War.
“What? Did I have something on my face?” War touched his cheeks, forehead and chin.
“P, you know that is not something that you can joke about…” Yin said with serious expression on his face. He had feelings for War but he didn’t pursue it for the sake of their friendship.
“I’m not joking Yin…I’m dead serious…” War walked up towards Yin and held his hands. “I’ve been thinking about it and I came to realise that I don’t want you as my friend anymore…I want you as my other half…”
Yin blushed at War’s words. It’s the words that he longed to hear.
“Are you sure about this?” Yin asked.
“Never been so sure in my life…so, what do you say? Shall we date?” War closed the distance between them. Their fingers intertwined.
“Well…let me think about it…”
War tip toed as he kissed Yin’s lips.
“Done thinking?” he smiled.
“You just made the decision time faster…”
“Good…”
Another kiss.
***********************
Yin just finished reading his books when he heard War stirred. He looked up and met with War’s droopy eyes.
“Good to see you babe…” Yin said. He put his book aside, got up and planted a soft kiss on War’s lips.
“What…what time is it now?” War asked in raspy voice. His throat felt dry like a sand paper.
“Almost 8…”
Yin helped War to sat up straight with his back leaned against the headrest. He gave him a glass of water and War happily gulped it down.
“You’re early…” he said wiping his mouth.
“I had nothing to do at the office so I came here instead…I brought some abalone porridge for dinner.”
War cringed at the word porridge. He was sick having to eat it most of the days. Yin noticed the changed on War’s face.
“Why? You don’t want it?” Yin asked.
“I think I’m gonna puke if I hear another porridge…babe, can I just eat something else? The food here is yucky and I’m not in the mood for watery rice…” War said with pleading eyes.
Yin smiled.
“Let me lock the door…”
Yin went to the door and lock it. He took out a small container from his bag and put it in front of War.
“I asked my mom to make this beef stir fry for you…”
War’s face lit up at the sight.
“That’s why I love you…” War pulled Yin for a fierce kiss.
Yin watched as War devoured the food. He wasn’t supposed to eat this kind of food but Yin didn’t have the heart to let War forcing himself eating the food he didn’t want to. War was eating when suddenly he cough. He quickly got out of the bed and ran towards the bathroom.
“Baby…”
Yin followed him from behind. Inside the bathroom, War was kneeling in front of the toilet vomiting his gut out. The sound almost brought tears to Yin’s eyes. He felt so helpless, just watching War…unable to do anything.
“Baby…you alright?” Yin said. He knocked the door. “Baby…”
“I’m…I’m…I’m okay…”
War walked out from the bathroom.
“Are you ok?” Yin scooped War's tiny frame in bridal style, placing him on the bed gently.
“I’m…I’m ok…maybe it’s because it’s been a while since I ate that kind of food…” War said. His head felt dizzy from the throwing up. “Thanks...am I heavy?' He asked with a faint smile
“Light as feathers…”
It was midnight and War was asleep. Yin didn’t realised tears fall down his cheeks. The sight of War’s pale face breaks his heart into pieces. The face that used to be full of life but now, the sign of sickness written all over it.
*********************
27 February 2018
“C’mon babe…you can do it!” Yin said and slowly jogged backwards. His eyes went to War. The guy was a few feet behind him.
“Can we…can we stop for a while? I don’t think I can do this anymore…” War clutched his stomach, bending down to catch his breath. He began to regret agreeing to Yin’s invitation for an evening exercise.
“It’s only been half an hour…c’mon babe…you need to work out…”
“I’ve got all the work out I need this morning thanks to you…” War looked and his eyes met Yin's.
Yin grinned.
“That’s a different kind of workout…not that I’m complaining or anything…” Yin recalled their intense love making earlier that day.
“You’re still thinking about that?” War scowled.
“What? I love the way you look writhing under me…”
“Hey!” War looked over and luckily there's no one close to hear their conversation.
“C’mon babe…we finish this and I’ll give you something back when we get home…” Yin stood next to War.
“And what that would be huh?”
Yin leaned closer towards War’s ears.
“I’ll let you use that furry cuff when you fuck me…” Yin whispered and licked War’s lobes. He knew that is War's hot spot.
“Babe…we’re in public…” War blushed. Yin just knows his weakness.
“I don’t see anyone around…” Yin winked. “What do you say?”
“You just get yourself a deal mister…” War pecked Yin’s lips.
The two continue their run and let’s just say that Yin had some trouble walking later that day.
*********************
“Mr. Ratsameerat…” the doctor greeted War as he wheeled in his wheelchair into the private office. It has been a routine ever since he resides here in the hospital.
“Just call me War, Ben…forgets all those formalities shit…” War smiled. He coughed a little and smiled again.
“Looks like you haven’t lost your sense of sarcasm…” Ben looked at his friend.
“So, what’s up? How did my report came out today?”
Ben's face changed and War quickly noticed it.
“Is it that bad?” he asked.
“Actually…” Ben hesitated. War was one of his dearest friends and the news in his hand is something that he prayed he didn’t have to be the one to break it to him.
“Just give it to me Ben…no beating around the bush…”
“Actually…it’s getting worse…” Ben said after a long sigh.
“Worse? What do you mean? I need to know Ben…this is my body we’re talking about…”
Ben put a few slide of x-ray images on the light screen panel.
“Despite the rigours medications, therapy…the bad cells has rapidly progressed to your other organs…”
War just stared at the x-ray images. His mind went blank…all he could think was his family and Yin.
“We will administer new drug later today just to slow down the rate but even that won’t guarantee anything…I’m so sorry War…I wish there’s something I could do…” it was hard for Ben to say those words to his friends.
Yin just arrived at the room when War came in.
“Hey babe…” Yin went towards the door. “Thank you nurse…” he said to the nurse taking over the wheelchair from her and wheeled War inside.
“You’re welcome…the doctor will be here shortly…” she said and left.
“So, what did the doctor say today? Are you leaving anytime soon?” Yin asked as he helped War get onto his bed.
“Hmm…I think we need to be prepared from now on…”
Yin freeze at his spot. He slowly turned around and looked at War.
“Ben said it’s already going to my other organs…so…what’s for lunch? I’m starving…”
“Babe…you’re just kidding right? I mean…the stuff you just said…”
“Nope…you can ask Ben when he came in…”
Later that night…
Yin walked into the dark living room…he looked around and felt empty. He sat on the long couch bringing his legs up to his chest and hugged it tight. A faint sniffle soon echoed throughout the apartment.
*************************
6 June 2019
“Can you believe it? We’re actually moving in together.” Yin said as he carried a huge brown box into the master bedroom. War was busy arranging their clothes inside the walk-in closet.
“It still felt surreal if you ask me…” War answered from inside.
“Same here…”
War came out.
“It’s all done…is that the last box?” he asked.
“Yup…I didn’t realise that we so much stuff…”
“Aren’t you glad that you listen to me to donate half of it?” War sat at the edge of the bed.
“Oh yeah…”
Yin stood in front of War and a wide grin spread across his face.
“What?” War narrowed his eyebrows.
“You know…we haven’t done anything in this apartment yet…” Yin stared at the confused War.
“Do what?”
“Well…you know…”
He straddled War’s lap and nuzzled his neck…licking it slowly. War instantly knew where this would lead. He wrapped his arm around Yin’s waist.
“What do you have in mind then? Should we start somewhere?” War’s hands slowly travelled to Yin’s butt giving it a gently squeeze.
“This bed seems like a good option…for now…”
Let just say the bed wasn't the only place the two of them end up doing the deed that day.
*******************
“P…P'Yin…” Nat called but the guy in front of him just stared out the window, lost in his own thought.
It’s been couple of days and this worried him.
“P'Yin…” Nat raised his voice a little.
“Huh? What?” Yin blinked as if his soul just returned to his body.
“Glad that you decided to come back with us…” Nat smiled.
“Smart ass…what’s up?”
“Here’s the profile that you want for the new barista position…” he put a huge file on the desk.
“Thanks…I will look at it later…”
“So, how’s P'War?”
“Same as that…not much difference…”
“What about you? Are you ok?”
“I’ll be just fine…thanks for this again…”
“No problem…just doing my job here…” Nat bowed and walked out from the private office.
Yin got up from his seat and went towards the large glass window. Millions things running through his mind.
“Still thinking about War?”
A voice startled Yin. He turned and saw Love at the door.
“Hey…”
“Thinking about War?” Love asked as she stepped in.
“He never left my mind…” Yin faintly smiled.
“I bet…you ok?”
“I’ll manage…you…I’ve been wondering…how it would be like if he wasn’t sick…”
“Hey…there’s nothing you could do…” Love patted Yin’s back.
“But still…”
**********************
August 2019
“Babe, should we just go to the doctor? I’m kinda worried…” Yin frowned. War has been sick for the last several weeks but every time Yin suggested that they go to the hospital, he will make excuses to avoid it.
“I’m just tired…with the classes and stuff…I’ll be okay if I just rest for a day…” War lay down on the bed.
“Baby…”
“Yin…stop worrying ok? I’ll be fine…” he patted Yin’s lap.
“Baby…” Yin pleaded.
“Can you get me some chicken noodle soup? I’m hungry…” War rubbed his stomach.
“Fine…but if you’re not well by tomorrow…we’re going to see Ben whether you like it or not…I will tie and drag you if I have to…”
“Yes dear…” War nodded. “Can I have my chicken noodle soup now?”
“Fine…stay here…I’ll go get it…”
Two weeks later…
“It’s nothing serious right?” War looked at his doctor friend Ben. His eyes shifted to Yin next to him.
“Actually…I have rather important news to tell you…”
Yin and War looked at each other.
“After doing some tests…we’ve discovered that you have a disease called Lupus…”
“Lupus?” Yin and War said together.
“Yea…it’s an autoimmune disease that could affect various systems in your body…”
“But…I’ve been living a healthy lifestyle…I eat right…exercise…and my medical check-ups are good as far as I know…” War said. “Is this Lupus thing curable?”
“Well…unfortunately, there’s still no cure for it…all we could do is to slow down the progression rate…in most cases, patients with Lupus could live a normal life…”
Yin tightened his grip on War’s hand. This is definitely their relationship greatest tests yet.
*************************
“Babe…I’m here…” Yin walked into the room. He looked at the bed and War waved his hand. A long tube connected at his left wrist to the thin metal pole with bluish coloured water IV bag.
His heart sunk. War has been under the weather these few days. He’s been coughing storm and his appetite is not like what he used to have…even half bowl of porridge could make him throw up. Not to mention that he’s been on oxygen for couple of days.
“How are you today?” he leaned over and kissed War’s dry lips.
“Okay I guess…” War said in coarse voice. The oxygen mask making his voice barely audible.
“I brought some seafood soup…less spicy just the way you like it…” Yin put the food container on the table. “You wanna eat?”
War shook his head.
“I don’t feel like eating right now…maybe later…”
“So, did Ben say anything today? Any positive news?” Yin sat next to the bed, holding War’s hand.
War just smiled. The meeting with Ben this morning crossed his mind.
Earlier that day…
“Ben…” War started. He coughed before taking a deep breath. “Just be honest with me…how bad it is now?”
Ben sighed.
“Ben…I need to know…”
“Well…it’s damaging your respiratory system right now…that’s why you’re coughing…”
“How much longer do I have?”
Ben went silent again.
“Ben…”
“I don’t have any answers for that War…I’m gonna do my best…”
War knew he doesn’t have much time left.
**********************
September 2020
“It’s already autumn…can you believe it?” War said holding Yin’s hands as they walked along the pathway at the park.
“Time flies so fast huh?” Yin tightened his grip.
“And I don’t think I’m sick or anything…no major illness…and thank god for that…”
“Yeah…”
War has been on medication since his diagnosis and he’s living the healthy lifestyle now. Yin couldn’t be happier with that. Somehow he sensed that God has answered his prayers.
They were sitting on a bench facing the lake when suddenly War stood up and kneeled in front of Yin.
“Baby…” Yin gasped.
*Deep breath
War…and here it goes…* War exhaled.
“Baby…. I’ve never loved someone as much as you, and I can’t imagine my life without you. I want to grow old with you. We have so many memories together and I want to continue creating memories with you for the rest of our lives. I now know that you and I are truly meant to be so let’s spend the rest of our lives together.”
War took out a small black velvet box from his pocket and opened it. Inside laid two beautiful silver bands.
“I wish I could give you the world, but right now this ring was all I could afford. Will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?”
Yin’s eyes start to water.
“Baby…shouldn’t you say anything right now?” War looked at him.
“Yes! Yes!”
Yin pulled War into a tight hug.
“Do you have to ask? Of course I’d marry you…in a heartbeat!”
***********************
“Are you sure about this?” Yin asked for the tenth time as he packed War’s clothes inside the bag.
“Yes babe…I’m sure…” War answered.
He decided to discharge himself out of the hospital. Since there’s nothing left they can do to him, why spend another day here when he could be somewhere more comfortable right?
“Baby…”Yin pleaded.
“Yin…do you love me?”
“You know I do…more than anything…”
“Then let’s just go ok? I’m sick being here…if I’m gonna die, I wanna die somewhere that don’t have any medicine smell…”
“Stop talking about death as if it was nothing will you?”
Yin stared at War. He angrily shoves the last of War's T-shirt inside the bag before pushing the older one on his wheelchair towards the exit.
In the car…
War glanced over at Yin who is driving next to him. He hasn’t said a word since they left the hospital half an hour ago,
“Are you mad at me?” War said.
“No…” Yin's short answer causing War to smile. “What's so funny?” Yin stared at him.
“Nothing…you’re mad…” he poked Yin’s arm.
“Shut up!”
“Please babe…stop being mad at me…” War blinked rapidly while pouting his lips.
“I’m still mad at you…”
Yin woke up from the cold breeze coming from the opened window. He got up and saw War lying on the bed next to him. He was about to walk away when War grabbed him by the wrist.
“It’s okay baby…I’ll be back in a sec…” he patted War's hand. A small smile crossed War's pale face.
Yin closed the window. He took a look at
War and felt like crying. War’s condition is worsening every passing day. He’s getting thinner and weaker.
“Baby…” War said and patted the empty spot on the bed next to him.
Yin smiled and got under the covers and snuggled closer to War.
“Baby…can I ask you something?” War said.
“Sure…”
“Are you happy?”
“Why would you ask me that?”
“I’m just wondering…”
“Never been happier…that’s my answer…”
“I just hope that I will meet you again in my next life…” War laced their finger together and brought it closer to his lips. “I love you so fucking much Yin Anan Wong…always have and always will…”
Morning…
The sunshine peeked through the curtain and slowly warming up the room. Yin opened his eyes and thinking another new day is about to begin. He turned around and saw War angelic sleeping face. He put on his robe and went down to the kitchen. He got back and saw War still sleeping.
“Babe…wake up…time for your medicine…”
He gently shook War’s body and felt the skin rather cold.
“Baby…wake up…don’t scare me like this…” Yin shook him again but still there’s no response from War. “Baby…please…don’t leave me…please…” Yin pleaded with tears running down his cheeks.
His worst nightmares just become reality.
War left.
***********************
Yin sighed. It’s been a month since War left but he still felt him around with him. Everything he did reminded him of War.
“Why did you leave me?” Yin muttered in tears. Looking at the silver band on his ring finger, he broke down and cried…just the way he did whenever the thought of War came.
Evening…
Yin opened the closet and took down War’s clothes from the hanger. He carefully folded each of it and put it neatly inside a box. He took War favourite black jacket and hugged it tight. The smell of War still lingered there. When going through it, he found a piece of paper inside one of the pockets. He opened it and it was a letter.
Dear Yin…
Lame huh? Starting a letter with those words…I’m sure when you found this, I’m no longer with you…if you ask how I would know, let’s just say I just do…
I never tell anyone about this but you are my first love…and I’m so glad that you are my last. When I first met you, I was unsure about how things would turn out for us. Looking at things now, I can be glad to say that it was one of the best decisions of my life to have chosen you, because you bring so much joy into my life.
You’re like my best friend and husband wrapped into one. The day you accepted my proposal probably the best day of my life…and when we said our vows, I just wished that the time would stop so I could imprint the look in your eyes inside my head for the rest of my life.
I love you Yin…I prayed to God if he wanted to take my soul, he would take it when you weren’t looking at me…because I know I would want to hang on longer if I saw those beautiful brown eyes of yours.
Thank you for making my life meaningful…I just hope in the next life, we would grow old and wrinkly together…spending the rest of our life in a nursing home reminiscing our youth together.
I gotta go now…
I LOVE YOU Papa Bear…always have and always will be…
Your husband,
War.
Stream of tears ran down Yin eyes as he slumped on the floor clutching the letter tightly to his chest.
-------------------
A/n : I have this story in my AFF account with MarkJin so I thought of changing it to YinWar. I hope no one is mad at me for this rather sad chapter.😔