It was strange being without Rima. Everything that we needed, Byron took care of it. Within weeks of Rima's departure, I noticed Byron looked tired. There were darker bags under his eyes and there were deep worry lines on his forehead.
I knew him well enough to know that he wasn't sleeping. He was such a perfectionist that he was making sure everything was set and he was sacrificing sleeping.
I went to his office. He was pouring over some papers. His fingers were grasping the bridge of nose. His forehead was creased deeply.
"You should go get some sleep" I suggested. I walked in without knocking. He would know that I wanted to see him. "Have you eaten?"
"What do you need Iris?" his eyes flickered upward. His green eyes were darker than usual. He leaned heavily into his seat and waited for me.
"You look tired....actually, exhausted" I dropped my bag but didn't sit down. I placed a couple of covered plates on his desk. His eyes flickered to the food.
"Iris I really don't have time for a social visit. I have some grading to do. I have schedules to fix. You start your training with Professor Curt since has some free time now that we know that Rima is in the Counsel. How is your training with Henri going?" he pulled out a folder which I assumed was mine. He scribbled some quick notes.
"Limited since he is going to Counsel meetings." I sighed heavily. I missed Henri, he was gone all the time especially on the weekends. There were times I didn't see him for days.
"Why don't you get an assistant instructor?" I suggested glancing around his office. He was really behind on grading. It was unlike him.
"What do you need Iris?" he sighed with a glare.
"Well, I came to make sure you were alive and you weren't trying to kill yourself with so much work."
His lips twitched but he held his glare.
"Iris, don't you have things you should be doing. I know you have a couple of papers that you should be getting ahead on." Byron lifted his eyebrows.
"Byron, I came to check up on you. You haven't been nagging so much at me for the last week or so. It is just weird to me"
"I have lots to do Iris and I really don't have the time to"
"Get up" I told him. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "You need a break. You need to get away from all of this" I motioned my hands all over his desk. "Come on lets go for a walk."
"Iris just"
"If you don't come with me. I am not leaving" I told him with raised eyebrows. He opened his mouth to argue. "You decide, Professor Enden" he snapped his teeth.
"Fine, one hour. I'm only giving you an hour of my time" he slowly smiled at me. It was my favorite smile, the easy going brilliant smile that he gave me every once and awhile.
We walked silently through the field. We were heading into November so it was chilly but it felt good. The next Rank was in about a month.
He took a deep breath.
"Remember what you did to the lake" I pointed at it. It was still except for a couple of geese. Last year, he had frozen the lake so we could go ice-skating. It was the during the time we had dated.
"Yeah, it helped you forget about the Rank. It helped you relax" he chuckled to himself.
"It is something you need" I nudged him. His green eyes met mine. "What are you stressing so much about?"
"I thought we were here to walk around not discuss-"
"Fine, fine but you know that if you need to talk since you really don't have friends" I teased him. He nudged me in return.
"Is it about the Guardians?" I lowered my voice even though there was nobody around.
"Part of it" he nodded with a dark look. "I guess I'm just tired. I haven't slept well since I'm worried about your courses and getting you appropriate training."
"What happened to the Guard members?" I put my hands into my coat. He shook his head.
"They are unavailable, Ronald doesn't want Guard members going back and forth. He thinks it will be suspicious."
"What if you hired one as your assistant instructor?" I suggested with a smile. The worry lines slowly started to disappear. "You could ask Ronald for one and give him your old office. I'm sure you could use more than one"
"Mmm" he didn't say anything else. "When does Henri get back?"
"Tomorrow night" I tried to not sound like if I was pouting. I kicked a small rock and watched it land a few feet away from us.
"How's it going it with him?"
"I thought we came here to walk around not discuss"
"I'm only asking" Byron laughed. I finally glanced at him. His head was thrown back and he was joyfully laughing. He looked young again. The stress was momentarily gone but it would come back.
"Fine if you have to know" I shrugged. "What about you? Who are you dating?" he stopped laughing and gave me a dark look.
"Nobody" he cleared his throat, lowering his eyes.
"You should date someone. It will keep your mind off things and you won't seem so stressed out."
"I don't have time for dating. It would only be the same thing that happened with Shelby or any other girl I have dated. They get fed up with me because I don't pay enough attention to them. I'm busy with my research, now the Guardians and of course teaching"
"Well an assistant instructor will solve part of your problem but what you need is to meet someone. Go out and have some fun. You should drink a little bit and go wild for one night"
"Ugh" he rolled his eyes but he was smirking. "I've gone wild for one night and it ended up badly"
"What did you do?" I asked interested. It was hard to imagine him loosening his tie or having some fun.
"We somehow managed to get to London and I ended up with Regina."
"Regina" I scoffed. I cleared my throat and tried to keep the jealousy out of my tone. Regina was a gorgeous Immortal that worked under Dr. Langston. She occasionally took over some of his classes. I had barely seen Regina and Byron talk.
"Yeah, we ended up getting repetitions for almost a month" he chuckled. "She was fun, I should try to talk to her" he was giving me a sly look.
"You should" I tried to keep the irritation out of my voice. "She is your year and your type. You seem to have a thing for blondes"
"Tall blondes" he corrected me. I made a face at the ground. "and you have a thing for my enemies"
My eyes snapped up to him.
"Don't give me that look. I'm just saying."
I gave him the dirtiest look I could come up with. We walked around for a few more minutes without saying a word.
"Do you like Henri a lot?" Byron finally asked. We were standing close to the lake.
"Yeah" I crossed my arms across my chest.
"More than you liked me?" he asked softly. I met his dark green eyes, there were some worry lines on his forehead. They were different though. He looked upset by the idea that I liked Henri.
"Byron" I hesitated. "I'm dating him lets not discuss this"
"I know that I screwed up by taking the position after telling you what you meant to me. I don't know if that sent you directly to Henri or you had feelings for him already. I just want to know"
"What will that do? It isn't like you are going to date me if I tell you. I'm especially not going to break up with Henri"
"Just answer the question"
"Why?" I crossed my arms. "Why now? Do you need a little ego boost, Byron."
"Why won't you tell me?" he asked softly. I huffed loudly and turned my face from him.
"Because I won't hurt Henri. I will not break his heart because he has been the most kind and the most generous person I had ever met. He has been helping me deal with my fears"
"What am I? I have been here for you, Iris. Answer my question"
"Yes" I shouted at him. "Damn it, Byron. Yes I still like you and trust me I'm trying so hard to stop thinking about you. I am trying desperately to get over you and I am hoping Henri can take care of it." I breathed heavily. "Please" he grasped my hands tightly. "Don't be difficult. Why do you need to know?"
"Because I screwed up. Admittedly, I screwed up big time. I regret everything letting you be with Henri" he took a step forward.
"Please, don't" I tried to pull my hands out of his hold. "Please, Byron."
"Don't you want me close to you"
"Yes, I do" I breathed. "But, Byron" I gulped. I closed my hands. "Don't do this to me and to yourself especially not Henri."
His hold tightened around my hands.
"We need to move on. I am trying to move on and Henri, he is good. He- he makes me happy, Byron"
He squeezed my hands and then he released me.
"Date someone. We have to- we need to get over each other. I adore Henri and he doesn't deserve me cheating on him, Byron" Byron's eyes softened. "If you get closer, I would do it. I would kiss you and say screw it but we both know how it will end. I can't go through something like that again and Henri, he won't deserve it. Even though you hate him"
"You are right" he leaned forward and kissed my forehead. I held my breath and held onto my hands tightly. "It wouldn't be right."
"I am here as your friend, Byron. Nothing else. Friends" I cleared my throat. I wanted him. I wanted to be with him. Heck, if it weren't because I was dating Henri; I would have kissed him already.
"Friends?" he stepped away and held out his hand.
"Friends, promise?" I touched his hand.
"Promise" he smiled sweetly at me. We walked back to the castle and just talked. He ended up having a late dinner with Drake and Vino. He looked a little more at ease but knowing him, it was going to take a lot to help relax.