The rustling trees, the bright and beaming moon, along with the sparkling stars welcomed Tom and I once again into the beautiful night.
Though even with this beautiful night... We ended up going to a place I hesitated to go to for some time now...
Preston Park.
A place full of wonderful... and bad memories.
I stood outside the gate's entrance, simply looking in.
'Do I go in? or take the longer route..?'
Tom seemed to notice my slight discomfort and decided to speak out.
"We can go a different--"
"Nah... It's fine Tommy... I'm fine with it."
We were already here, so why not?
I took a step forward, and seeing as there was no going back... I continued going through the park with Tom by my side.
Either way, I would have to face this place again in the future... So- it doesn't really matter that much to me... not anymore at least.
The walk was quiet, the sounds of chirping sparrows lingered in the air... like a soft chime of melodies. Our footsteps along the path sounded throughout the night too... knowing that me and him are probably the only people out here in the park made me feel so much more at ease.
At least- for now.
When we were half way through our walk, we ended up at my favorite section in the entire park... The section with the prettiest view... and the section where...
..
.
.
I walked over and placed my hands onto the railing to overlook the body of water down below once more. The water was so pretty... especially with the stars and moon being reflected off of it, capturing the nights beauty even more.
But no matter how pretty the scenery was, I couldn't help but think back to that night.
"You're thinking about it... right?" Tom's voice said in a low tone.
I jumped a little at the sudden conversation starter.
He can read me pretty well now... I guess it makes sense. We've been spending every day together- so it makes a little sense to how he'd notice habits about me that I haven't even noticed myself.
"What are you talking about?" I questioned, trying to act oblivious.
"You're making that face again... It's hard not to notice" He points out.
'I'm making a face..?'
"Hey, Tom" I said.
"Uhh.... Yeah, Y/N?" He questions, finally walking over and standing besides me.
My eyes traced up to look at the starry sky.
"You find the world unfair and cruel too... right?"
There was silence for a few moments, but Tommy responded.
"...at times, I guess" He replies, "....why?"
"I just find it pretty funny now... Y'know- everyone in the world only has so much time to do things they want to... and by the time they go, they still desire and wish to do more. They're so greedy..." I chuckled a little at my statement, "I would love for life to be longer... At least then people would be able to live."
"But we're still living" Tommy says.
"I know... It's just that-" My eyes darted around for a bit, "...Life is being more crueler on me than usual..."
I let out a sigh.
"The thing with Aiden was just one of the major ones, along with the online drama. But- now there's another thing that became a big problem as of late.."
"...and what would that be?"
"I've changed as a person Tom..." I stated, "You wouldn't have noticed, but before you met me I was quite different to how you know me. I really thought I would've been like everyone else that was in my previous school.... But the minecraft community- the minecraft youtubers... they've made me be a better person."
I turned my body to face Tom, my hand gripping on the rail harder.
"Meeting them-- Meeting you made me a better person. Streaming made me into a better and more selfless person... Everything up until this point made me more and more selfless...." I muttered out, "Without the community- I would've probably walked onto the same path as Aiden..."
Then, I proceed to give him a close-eyed smile.
"So thank you.... Thank you for everything..."
There was a few seconds of silence- Tom hadn't said anything yet.
After opening up my eyes- I came to the conclusion of something.
I have to do it now...
Confessions... I never did one before- especially a romantic one... But, I wanted to give it a go. At least- just for the experience.
If I do end up getting rejected, just my luck- right?
"Though...." I forced myself to speak.
"....though?" Tom eyed me curiously.
"...And though I am saying I'm selfless... I feel absolutely selfish right now..." I told him.
Tommy seemed to give me one of the most confused looks he's ever given before.
"...How come?"
"Tommy...No matter how much I didn't want to believe it... no matter how much I didn't want to accept it..." I slowly took in a deep breath, slowly exhaling afterwards in order to ready myself, "Tommy- I think I like you.... more than I should..."
For the longest time, Tom just stood there and stared down at me. He seemed surprised about my sudden confession.
I mean- I wouldn't blame him... It was pretty out of the blue...
"Huh-? wait- what??" He stammered.
"I tried stopping myself from liking you, Tommy- but I couldn't.... It feels wrong- but I can't help it... I really like you." I confessed once more.
The blonde stared at me for a moment longer, processing the information given to him. but suddenly, he begins to laugh.
"yeah, yeah- okay-- nice prank, you fucking idiot--"
My eyes begin to narrow. 'this guy is a fucking idiot'
"I wasn't joking Thomas" I sternly said, "I really do like you."
After hearing my voice in a more hostile tone-- as well as the usage of his real name... He seemed to be malfunctioning a tad bit.
He just stared at me, eyes widened and pupils dilated.
The silence began to get unbearable. It felt weird just standing around in silence... Especially when he just says nothing and keeps on staring at me.
"....Just reject me and get it over with." I said, monotone, "You don't have to try and be nice- you can say whatever it is on your mind... I can take it"
'Expressions like that indicate fear... I can see it- even if he's wearing a mask...'
I never experienced rejection before... But I wonder if heartbreak really is as cruel as the stories portray it to be...?
Maybe I'll be able to experience it...
Tommy suddenly starts shaking his head, not as a signal of 'no'- as in his answer to my confession, but as a signal to say 'that's not it'.
"Y- Y/N... and- And why would I need to reject you?" Tom finally spoke out, raising his voice as per usual, "You-- you aren't the only one who fell for someone... I mean- fuck- have you met yourself?"
"Wait- wha?--"
"I like you too, Y/N"
After hearing his words properly, my brain couldn't process it properly.
'Did- he really say he liked me back..?'
I brought my arm up and hid my face into my sleeve.
"Okay- fuck. I didn't expect that..."
"You thought I was going to reject you??!?" Tom said, pretty baffled.
"I mean- you might as well..!!" I exclaimed.
"I thought you said you liked me!" He shouts back.
"I do you fucking idiot!! I just... didn't think you liked me..." I muttered, "I mean- bloody hell... There are so many more better people than me...Why would you like someone like me?"
"You're the right kind of person for me... And that's all that matters, right?" He answers.
"Usually when a girl says stuff like that, you usually give them reasons on why you like them" I scold him.
"Well- I'm not like most men, am I?" Tommy begins to chuckle.
At his words, all I ended up doing was smiling, letting my eyes wonder elsewhere.
"Yep... You sure aren't..." I let it set in my mind for a moment, and then my mind started to process his reaction to my previous words. I stared back at him, "so... does that mean you want us to...?"
"I mean... I don't see why not Y/N." He started to smirk.
My mind went into full on autopilot after that. My actions next were a huge blur too...
All I knew was... My mind and body felt all... fuzzy. I felt warm and happy-- and... prideful!
But- As soon as my brain finally began to function normally again to fully processed every action I was doing, I forced my eyes open.
I was only inches away from Tommy's face. His alluring blue eyes were now closed shut, not daring to open up. The blondes mask was being forced down by my finger tips, exposing his lips which seemed to be quivering ever so slightly.
I was able to barely feel his warm breath tingle against my cheek... and after getting a better look at him... his cheeks were burning brighter and redder by the second. Even if it was pretty dark outside, the moonlight showed me what needed to be seen.
The expression on his face reminded me of those slight instances in my childhood. Fearful yet curious, worried but excited at the same time...
I lived for those types of expressions.
But seeing that kind of expression on him out of all people made me holding back that much more difficult.
'I really want to...' 'Maybe just this once....' 'Would he be okay with it...?'
My mind continued to cloud with these thoughts.
I really wanted to just go in-- but I sided against it.
So, in order to suppress any further urges-
I raised my fist up...
...and bonked him down on his head.
At the contact, Tom's eyes then shot open, his expression instantly morphing into a shocked one.
And at this- he reddens more and more. Probably from anger or out of embarrassment. Either way, he then ends up glaring at me.
"Wha- WHAT THE FUCK Y/N???!!?"
I couldn't help but let out a roar of laughter.
"Revenge for last time- bitch!" I continued cackling.
But even while grinning and laughing like an idiot, I couldn't suppress the obvious blush forming on my face from my previous thoughts.
'I really do like this stupid idiot....'
By the time I calmed down, my head felt a light. I laughed too much to the point where I slightly felt dizzy. Once my mind came to peace, I suddenly started to remember the entire reason why were were out here in the first place.
I needed to go home.
With that in mind, I backed away and directed my attention down to the parks path.
"erm... anyway, shall we get going now?"
The hope was for Tom to respond to me, but he didn't say anything. I eyed him curiously, seeing that he was avoiding eye contact with me entirely!
God- he really had that stubborn child-like attitude to him sometimes... though when it does come out, it just makes things 10 times funnier for some reason.
"Tom..?"
His eyes darted over to me. Tom was displaying an obvious pout. He seemed to be angry, almost irritated. Tom's face had a tinge of humiliation. But it was only a hint.
I don't blame him, I pretty much lead him on in the moment. He thought I was going to kiss him and he didn't earn one. A small plaster of guilt entered my mind.
"Come on, stop looking at me like that..." I pouted playfully.
Though he didn't seem to lighten up.
I let out a sigh. He really was annoyed at me. I walked closer to Tom and grabbed his arm, interlocking it in mine.
He stares down at me with wide eyes as I started to smile once more.
"Let's go, big man. It's getting very late."
For a moment he just stared at me. But after he gives me a little hum in response, seeming to understand and accept my words.
Acknowledging his response, I started dragging him down the path.
He didn't pull away from my grip, nor did he retort. He just allowed it to happen.
.
.
.
By the time we reached the gates to my house I ended up saddened.
I didn't want to go back inside my house, despite that being the whole reason for the walk. I just wanted to spend more time with Tommy...
"Thanks once again, Tom." I sadly smiled at him, letting go of his arm, "I'll... uhh... get going now."
I turned away and began to walk towards my houses gate to open it-- or jump it. I kinda was in the mood to be reckless about SOMETHING.
"...what? no goodnight kiss?" I heard Tommy's voice sound out in a jokingly teasing tone, it made me stop my actions.
I angled my head and looked back to the now grinning Tommy. The simple thought of a goodnight kiss didn't necessarily make me cringe, as cheesy or as corny as it was- it made me have a new shred of confidence.
"sure, why not?"
Walking back over to him, I gripped the strings of his hoodie. Tugging down on them, I caused Tom's face to lean in closer towards mine.
Because of the height difference, it made the most sense to get some leverage into giving partly what he wanted.
With the remaining space I gently leaned in, though instead of letting my lips touch his, they touched and brushed over his cheek gingerly.
I felt Tom's body tense up at the contact, genuinely surprised that his request was granted. Though, why wouldn't I kiss him? Maybe not in the way most would expect, but I do really like this stupidly annoying boy... the stupid boy I grew so attached to in just a few months.
Unconsciously, I continued to place many small and brief kisses over his face, but no where near touching his lips that seemed to still be quivering. His face grew hot the longer I did it, though as much as I didn't want to stop what I was doing, I knew I had to. After all, I wouldn't want my parents to open up the door at any given moment to see I was kissing a boy-- especially in these times of the ✨magical covid.✨
I distanced myself from Tom, barely seeing his now crimson red face continue to stare back at me. He wasn't able to utter a single word because of my actions, he seemed to be a little overwhelmed with embarrassment to do or say much.
Seeing this side of him really made me have a growing confidence in my abilities. To think I'm able to charm and shut of one of the most loudest and biggest twitch streamers on the platform... It makes me feel like one lucky and skillful person!!
"Night Tom. See you and talk to you.. whenever."
After one last smile, I curtly waved him goodbye before heading to the front doors of my house. I noticed that the car wasn't parked at all... Strange.
But I didn't pay much mind to that for long. Thankfully, the door was unlocked by the time I reached and turned the knob.
Heading inside, I crept through the hallways to try and not draw any attention to myself. My eyes darted through the rooms as I went by, and I ended up seeing my father sitting on the couch, seeming very... lost.
I didn't have time to get back into sneaking, my dad saw me the very next second and he looked at me with widen eyes.
"Y/N..? You're-- You're back?" He uttered.
He seemed so stressed. He seemed so tired.
The lounge was messy, some things were shifted from how it once was... and other things were scattered throughout the room.
What happen while I was at Tom's?
"...Of course I am" I muttered out, allowing him to sigh in relief.
I eyed the rest of the room, but failed to see my mum anywhere.
"...where's mum?"
Dad didn't say anything, but after clearing his throat- he began speaking.
"Your mother is... out" He answered before sighing, "...she said some nasty things to you, so I've heard..."
I was a little surprised, but slowly nodded.
"We had a little disagreement before you got back, and she left in the car." He tells me.
Ah... so that explains the missing car...
"After she told me about you running out of the car earlier, she said you did it out of no where with no reason at all..." He starts explaining, "I know you wouldn't do that without a reason.. so I knew she was lying to me. So, we fought a little... but no need to worry..."
My dad then starts to smile at me, trying to hide his immense worry. As much as I wanted to push further into the subject, I knew better than to make my dad go on an emotional rant.
"...So, did you make it to Tom's?" He suddenly asks me.
"Yeah... I did." I answered.
"Did you have fun?"
I nodded.
"Well... uhh... I won't keep you.. Go ahead and rest if you want, I'll clean up here." Is what he tells me.
I continued to stare at my father, unsure of what really to do.
But in the end, I walked into the lounge and started to pick up some of the scattered papers from off of the ground.
My dad eyed me, taken aback.
"Y/N... you don't have to--"
"It's partially my fault... This is the least I can do..." I respond.
He was about to retort, but decided not to. Instead, he joined in to clean up the living room too.
And after about... 10 minutes, we were done and I left for my room after bidding my dad a good night.
Mum was seriously unhinged.
She needs to probably take some of Dream's 'normal pills'.
The stupid thought made me snicker, which then lead me to realize the amount of times I refer to the mcyt community in my daily life.
Once entering my room, I sat down on my bed, not locking the door as I usually do.
Mum's not home... So- what's the need to lock the door?
The only reason I've locked the door is because.. other than my privacy, my mum continued to search my room. Especially years back when I was what you called 'a delinquent child'.
She always suspected me of things, but knowing she wasn't in the house tonight... I felt a little more better about keeping the door unlocked.
I let my mind ponder on what to do for a moment before an idea popped into my mind.
"ha... you know what? Might as well..."
I got up from my bed and made my way over to my drawers to find and pull out my Tommyinnit youtooz I had kept to myself for the longest time.
Though as soon as I grabbed the youtooz...
...the other half of him fell off.
I was shocked for a moment before I accidently snorted.
I had completely forgotten that it was broken---! When it was ordered, my accidently dropped it and it somehow caused the thing to break in half!
Picking up the other half of the broken Tommyinnit, I then took it to my desk and laid it down, pulling out my phone and turning the camera on.
Angling the youtooz up with the phone, I snapped a quick picture.
Going onto my contacts, I shot a message to Tommy.
▪◽◼▫▪◻◾▫
Tompon 🦝💞
Me
Mini innit is keeping me company.
Tompon 🦝💞
Why the fuck is my body dislocated??
Me
Accidently dropped it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
But hey, still good company.
Chilling with my beautiful broken boy rn
Tompon 🦝💞
Even though it's broken,
you're being more affectionate towards
my youtooz rather than me??
I'm insulted.
Me
You know you're pretty.
Me
Plan our Minecraft date
if you want me to be
more affectionate
towards you👌
Tompon 🦝💞
wait
Seriously?
Do you think I can stream it?
Me
Decide the general idea and then
we'll discuss it more.. :p
Tompon 🦝💞
Alright
I'll have something by the morning
Message me when you wake up Y/N.
Good night love
Me
Love..? 😳
Tompon 🦝💞
WAIT
FUCKING TYPO
FUCK
FORGET IT
GOODNIGHT
Me
LMAO
Yeah, night Love~! xDD
Tompon 🦝💞
Go to bed women
▪◽◼▫▪◻◾▫
I stared at his message a little baffled at this boldness. Is this dude serious? Typo or not, he was trying to say something with 'love' in it. He probably meant it either as a nick name or the whole 'i love you' speel.
And- Is he really going to plan our minecraft date in such a small amount of time? He better not stay up too late thinking about it..
Though, it's cute that he cares so much.
I turned off my phone and placed it on my desk. I took the half and half youtooz in hand, turning off the lights before I headed to my bed to lay down. I rested the youtooz against my other pillow before I started to drift off into a warm and tiresome slumber.
Finally... I had finally found someone I grew to cherish more in the world. Someone who is able to make me laugh, make me feel safe... someone who was able to make me feel happy and complete.
More than anything... I don't want this to be a dream...
...and I'm so happy that it wasn't one.