As the time went on between you and Heeseung in the room, you had never been happier when you saw he was picking out the guitar from its bag. After not talking to him in so long, you felt like a real lucky girl to see him in his elements. Well, everything had been different since you broke off the fake relationship with him, but you wanted to look on the bright side.
After all, Heeseung was still one of the boys you like the most. Not romantically, but you knew whatever happens, you will always have a soft spot for him.
"How are you feeling now?", he asked, pulling on the chair closest to your bed as he sat on it.
You had been involuntarily smiling all day since he did, "Fine. And I just felt really... optimistic"
"I'm glad to know that", he said, taking your smile as a sign for him to prepare himself in this conversation. Then he settled his guitat on his lap, leading your attention to it.
Awkwardly adjusting your blanket around you, you simply looked at him for a moment, having no idea what to say. But you were still smiling, nevertheless.
"I waited to visit you as soon as I can", Heeseung said eventually, breaking the silence and fidgeting with the strings, "But I keep getting scared because I can't stop blaming myself for what Yana did to you"
"We shouldn't even be talking about her, and I would never blame you for it", you told him honestly.
There was another pause, just as awkward as the one when the other boys were present. But then Heeseung cleared his throat, and you looked up at him from staring down to the guitar he holds. He didn't look at you as he rifled through his bag. Retrieving a book from it, he thrust it towards you and when you take it gratefully, your eyes flickered up to his upon reading the title.
"Nikita Gil?", you pointed out to the author of the poetry book. "She was one of my favorite writers. Have I ever told you that?", you concluded with a small chuckle.
With him nodding awkwardly, Heeseung gestured to a page he made sure to put a bookmark, "I read it before giving to you, and highlighted my most favorite part"
"That's very thoughtful of you, Heeseung", you assured him, flipping back to the bookmarked page. Your breath catches in your throat when you spot the poem he was talking about.
It's the simplest gesture of affection, but why does it look like so sad to you? And so you murmurs the words out loud, running your fingers along the lines he must have made. This is what the poem says:
Sometime, you are going to miss a person who was an almost to you.
And feel sad because there is no name for that feeling. You just feel it in a way that makes you very tired to the bones.
When you glances up, your eyes met for the briefest of moment before you look away again. By the corridor outside your room, Daniel had come in time to get Jungwon away from them, and you lowered your chin to read the sentence again, this time to yourself, then snaps the book shut and shoves it down to your side table.
"I understand it now", Heeseung said, bringing your attention back from the book and to him, "It's sad, but I have made a lot of thinking since I saw you that day. It was like an eye-opening moment for me"
You mindlessly ran your thumb back and forth at the corner of your blanket as you said, "What did you realized then?"
Again, there was another silence with the both of you looking you have nothing to say to each other and yet, you knew that Heeseung had a million things to say to you in his that he wanted to speak out but was stopped himself from vocalising. There was so much he could have said and yet he said nothing and likely he would continue to linger then until you interrupted the silence.
Thankfully, he got the look in your eyes as he spoke loudly, "How about I just sing you a song that I wrote before I give my letter to you?"
"Really? Lee Heeseung will sing me a song?", you asked, offering him what you hoped was an excited smile, "I would say it's been a long time since I wished for it when we all know how good your voice is"
As he finally propped up the guitar on his hold, Heeseung considered you as you encouragely nodded for him to continue. Not meeting your eyes after, he pretended to be focus on the guitar as he started strumming, when really he knew it was just a matter of time. Sure enough, just as you turned to sit up at the edge of the bed, he had began to sing.
[ Start playing Love Sight by TXT and imagine Heeseung is singing it ]
Neol bomyeon haejul mari isseo
Neol bomyeon saenggangnaneun han saram
Cheoeum neoreul bon eoneu nal
Haetsalcheoreom unmyeongcheoreom nareul barabodeon
Areumdaun geunarui han saram
With a little effort from your side, your eyes lingered on his face who was eyeing you like there's no one else in his eyes anymore, but he could see it now, he was not the main your love sight. Unbidden, a fond smile curled at your mouth and you did nothing to stop it.
Neol bomyeon eoduwotdeon dalbit naerin gyeoulbamdo
Sueomneun byeolbitdeullo tumyeonghage binna
Kkumgateun sarang ajik moreugenni
Neul nareul bakkwo juneun neo
Nega isseo haengbokada
The expectations you had about his voice never failed you while you keep listening to him. It was like him singing like this gave the words the emotions that gave them their soul. For communication in the emotion in his eyes long before he knew what he was feeling inside.
As such, this song from him said so much more in the air than they ever could as ink and paper.
La-la-la-la, La-la-la-la-la
Oneulttara deo bogo sipeo
Neol bomyeon jakku useumi na
Neol bomyeon tteooreuneun seollem
Gureum wie gariwojin
He never dropped his small smile as he sings to you, almost as if the lyrics didn't have a terrible second meaning for him. It was a lovely sight to watch you watching him, to see you be this peaceful after the storm of Yana, unaware of his plans for this meeting.
Nareul boneun ne maeumeul jogeumssik Love so sweet
So beautiful nan neukkil su isseo
But as he ended it too soon for your own liking, just by watching you clapped quietly, he had no desire to lay a hand on yours or even try to move forward in the fight. While you were waiting for him to speak again, he saw nothing but a picture of perfection and if he was to change his mind, he would ruined everything.
For a moment, just a single moment, he pitied you and himself, and whatever that sparked between the two of you before. He pitied you for constantly putting yourself in bad situations since you said yes to the plans of making his ex jealous.
It wasn't you who had gotten him to quit, but rather the way he knew from the start, it's either Jay or Jungwon that you'll be heading for, and it had him lowering his head as if to by hiding, he could stop it from coming. The tears.
And you, Y/N, the sweet girl who always seems to comfort him and still had the hold on his heart, knew exactly when he needed a silent comfort. "Why do you look so crestfallen?", you asked, leaning in close to him.
Turning toward you, he searched your earnest eyes. How could he possibly not break at the very sight of it, "Can you just answer one question for me?"
The smile melted off of your face, replaced with a soft frown. Not that it lasted for long. You took a deep breath before saying, "Ask away"
It was coming. He knew it was coming. And yet having despite it gone over countless time in his head, he still wasn't sure how to begin it. In the end, he still asked slowly, "Who's the boy Jungwon was talking about?"
You took a deep breath for what felt like the tenth time, and lowered yourself a bit at the edge of the bed, softly taking his hands from the hold in his guitar, "I've done nothing but hurt you and the others for the past few months. And I know that, I've reminded myself constantly. I played with you in that fake relationship and managed to catch some old feelings"
There was a pregnant silence as his eyes searched yours intently for any hint that you were heavily lying, but you were never that kind of person. If anything, you've always been honest to him, that he knew.
"And I broke you", you continued, your voice barely audible now, but enough for him to hear, "And as much as I want to fix it, I can't. Not when I already have Jay"
Heeseung nodded his head, leaving his guitar to the chair and joined you sitting in the bed as he softly placed his hands in your warm cheeks, "He's a very nice choice, Y/N. I wouldn't worry because I think hurting you is the last thing he would ever think of", he looked into your eyes and sighed, "And I hope he knows how to take care of your heart as well"
His words were full of hope for you and that made you smile a little. This is the moment in which you knew, he was already ending his part in your life and no matter how short it is, you'll always cherished him as someone special.
"Thank you so much, Heeseung. All the help you've given me is more than I deserve", you said, and it was just like before, too painfully sad to continue when you don't want to let go of that fake relationship, "I am going to miss you"
He gave you a promising kiss in the forehead and tucked a strand of long hair behind your ear, "I will never forget you, I promise", he said, taking your hand in his and kissed your knuckles softly, "I can't promise you how to take care of you anymore when you already have chosen. But I still love you in a way. You will always be the only girl in my highschool that matters, the only person I will be remembering afterwards"
You gulped, the tears reaching your eyes instantly, "Just know, Heeseung, you will always be one of my favorite guys", you started, and talking as slowly as possible, trying for him to linger longer in your side, "You may have been a jerk at first, but still, you were the first guy to open yourself up to me and it might be too late to say this, but I nearly choose you if not for the circumstances"
The tears, however, wouldn't stop for him. And that was the issue when it was too easy to be vulnerable before you. The more he tried to come to terms with the fact that he finally gave up, the worse it became. This was the worst thing about always making sure that no one saw the broken mess you were underneath, you never succeeded.
And at this end, he never succeeded in getting your heart and it was a shame he didn't realize earlier how far deep he was.
You gulped once again before gaining the courage to ask him, "So this was it? You're ending everything between us just like that?"
His hand found the back of your head as he brought your body closer to his. You took a deep breath and buried your face in his neck. He smells like a cotton candy, and you hoped to remember it by for him.
Heeseung kissed the top of your head and caressed your back softly, "Will you want us to stay friends? If yes, I will agree and in time, I will make you happy again. I promise you, Y/N"
He didn't know what possessed to say those words, but he couldn't let himself to let go of you completely just yet. He had always been thankful for what you did to him in those times he needed someone, but at that moment, you were more than a friend. Truly, Lee Heeseung felt like he didn't care about anything else in the world right now just as long as he had you, the most special girl in his life.
It was you who helped him at tough times that his brother was curious to meet, and despite who he was, you were there even if he treated you in a bad way at the first days after the first kiss.
You looked up at him with a small smile, "I would be more than happy to accept you as my friend, Lee Heeseung"
"We will be friends for eternity then", he made a small smile as well, wiping your tears from the corner of your eyes, "I promise I will never break your trust. We still have all the time in the world to get to know each other more, after all"
Despite of the time running out to give way for the next boy, you managed to grin, embracing the happiness fuelling your senses, and you said, "I would like that very much. Now, maybe call Park Jay for me"
Heeseung pulled away from you and sighed deeply, brushing his hair with his fingers to release the nerves consuming him. That was it. The beginning of everything.
You turned your head to look for the book, then raised up to his eye level and sent him one last smile before you felt him caressing your cheeks, "Do you have any last words to me?"
He knew perfectly well what he wanted for you to hear, "I love you, Kim Y/N"
His eyes looked at you once more before he picked up his bag and the guitar, and turned to exit out of the room.
For once, you didn't think about the consequences of your mom being here, or the possibility of saying goodbyes. You were happy.
💌 _____________________________ 💌
With the way this chapter ends, I hope you understand where Heeseung stands now and whether he would be in the sequel or not. Because the hints is all out here.
I think Chapter Sixty Six would be mainly for Sunghoon and Jake. What are you expecting to happen?
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