You being put into a coma for a week now had travelled through the campus merely moments after Sunoo received the news from Daniel himself. It had caused most of the students by surprised.
But then he was friends with you and the family involved and were obviously aware of what was happening, then it seemed like an eventuality. And the other remaining eventuality was the other boys assuming he would opened up to them easily to tell the whole story.
Since you were hospitalized a week ago, the entire school was abuzz with gossips about how and when would you return to share of the showdown you had with Yana or her friends who were now facing a court nowadays. Sunoo's classmates, for example, didn't bother to stop talking whenever he entered their classroom and because he had no motivation to shut them up, they had assumed that they could keep doing it.
Today was no different. As he sat in his chair, burrowing Jaebeom's notes, when the girls near him began talking and laying bets on how much longer you would be on the hospital before Heeseung visited. Sunoo's attention was no longer in the notebook and no matter how much he wanted to pay attention to it, he couldn't.
The girls, as if realizing he was in the room, takes a seat in the chairs before him in a circle and made themselves at home. They even ignored the way Jaebeom chastised them for being so nosy in the business that had nothing to do with them.
Sunoo eyed them with barely concealed annoyance and waited for the questions to begin. "What?"
"Have you heard anything from her brother?", one of them asked straight away.
"About what, exactly?", he asked with a raised eyebrow, closing Jaebeom's notebook and putting it away for now.
"About Kim Y/N!", the noisiest one exclaimed, reaching forward to take his hand in hers. "You were one of her friends, her brother will told you if anything's happened"
"Why don't you just ask him yourself?", Jaebeom suggested, removing the girl's hand from Sunoo, seeing that the boy was uncomfortable and he was fidgeting with his sleeves.
They sighed, all of the girls together, as if this two boys were torturing them by depriving them of information, "If only we could do it, but from what we heard, he's not even active on the portal board for a few days now"
"Well, it just means that they were keeping it private since it was a family matters obviously", Jaebeom said, and he was responded by the girls's scoff by his reasoning.
Sunoo decided to say something for himself a bit, "Anyway, I can't tell you anything when I don't know myself"
"There's no need to lie", one of the girls cajoled again, but was stopped by the voice in the doorway.
"It's true", Niki called out from the open doorway of the room. The three girls, surprised by his sudden entrance, scrambled from the chairs and to their own. "It's not even your business to begin with"
Shutting the door behind him, Niki walked into the room as if he was supposed to be there as the girls took the opportunity to question him personally. The only response they have from him was a glare before he settled down next to Sunoo who were watching him expectantly.
"Here's all you needed to know as to why I'm here", Niki said firmly, settling up one of his legs in the armchair, "I called this Jay -"
Before he could say another word, the three girls squealed excitedly - thinking there was gossip to find and Niki shifted on his seat a bit to turn in their direction. Alright, that was it. Nobody even Sunoo expected for him to slam his hand on the desk he was sat at just to shut the girls up. Thankfully, they got the warning.
Niki cleared his throat, silencing the girls completely now. "Like I was saying, I asked him if we could visit and he asked Daniel about it. They agreed for just one day"
"But why -"
"I'm not talking to you, idiot", he shot back to the girls, which all earned a respect from Jaebeom who were sharing a look with Sunoo at the moment. "You're not even Sunoo hyung. Also, I don't talk to stupid people like you"
Knowing when to quit, the girls fell silent and went to turn the other way, muttering to themselves quietly. Sunoo watched as Niki frowns at them and turned to face him. With a small smile, removing the frown, he scooted closer to him and went to lean to him, so they could talk in some sort of privacy they could get.
"When did you call Jay hyung? Is that why you asked for his number yesterday night?", Sunoo asked quietly.
"This morning", Niki admitted, playing with one of the strap of his bag down his lap. "I'm going to ask K hyung to drive us there. You want to go, right?"
"Who else would you plan to get there?", Sunoo asked, as a means of answer that he's going to agree.
Niki took a deep breath, giving him a brave smile, "Because I'd like to be more mature for once in her eyes, I did the right thing"
"What did you do then?", Sunoo asked once again, knowing this boy would never be annoyed with him. It was unimaginable at first, but they were actually friends.
"The other boys", Niki said gently, not really sounding like himself as he explained, "I don't know. I have a bad feeling this could be the last, you know"
Sunoo's mouth parted in surprise, eyes widening slightly as he asked quietly, "You don't mean -"
The younger boy nodded, his face looking like he can't believe it himself as well, "Heeseung and Sunghoon agreed to meet us in the waiting shed at the afternoon"
"Did you actually managed to talk to them like a normal person for once?", Sunoo can't help but stated with a smile as he knew Niki well.
Niki rolled his eyes, "Oh please", he said with a scoff, "Look at what happened before we left the emergency that day. Do you know what I realized then? It's the time we needed to give the peace Y/N needed from us, so I think why not try to be at least friendly with each other?", then he pointed to Sunoo and to himself, "Like us. Like that Jay and Jungwon. Sunghoon and Jake. It's the time we need to fix the problems we gave to that poor girl"
"That's a great idea, Niki", Sunoo assured him before the boy stood up and left at the arrival of his teacher in the room.
Even long before he left and their lessons was already going on in the background, Sunoo smiled in a way that was so cheerful he would have made the people smile as well. But his brow creased a bit as his mind think over Niki's plans.
He wasn't sure what to expect in the afternoon, but he was eager to find out what will happened between the four of them at their journey to visit you.
💌 _____________________________ 💌
It appeared that following on from what could be considered a polite interactions between the three of them, Jay had decided for Jake for the pair of them made rather unlikely.. acquaintances.
Since he comes to visit from time to time, Jay had the most horrendous habit of turning up wherever he was at the hospital and sitting beside him as the older boy thought to keep him company until he was not entering your room. Like for today, the sounds of footsteps snapped Jake from his thoughts, already used to the familiar tone.
He shoved his phone to his pockets, hiding the text of his mom from everyone and looked around curiously for the source of the footsteps. And sure enough, the footsteps drew closer from the direction of the vending machine.
Jay, clearly expecting to see him at this time in the afternoon, halted at the end of the seats while holding two soda cans. Jake dismissed the doubt in his mind that wondered why the guy was being nice and instead offered him a smile, to where Jay returned with a soda can in his way.
With a smile fixed onto his face, Jake reluctantly takes it as he remained watching him. Only for that smile to dim a little when Jay took it upon himself to sit beside him.
Knowing that he wouldn't be the one to break silence, Jake went to ask, "What are you doing here, Jay? Aren't you supposed to be on her bedside?"
"Her mom was there", Jay murmured slowly, watching as Jake opened the soda to sip it thoughtfully, "She clearly don't like for me to be there. Even her husband was out. She wants to be alone with her"
Content with what he heard, Jake released a sigh and when he raised his eyes to Jay, the latter faltered for a moment under his gaze, "It scared you, isn't it? What if that was a sign she doesn't like you for her daughter?"
"Jake -"
He continued to speak firmly without a pause, "You're just good at pretending that you're feeling better when it's not"
Jay had no way of responding to that when the words is obviously right. It was naive of Jake to expect an answer after that. The silence between them lengthened with Jay refusing to give any form of answer. He waited for a moment longer, drinking straight from the can, and then looking curiously to the other guy.
It was Jay's eyes turn to trained on his face, which had him faltering for a second, "What?", Jake managed quietly.
"If you don't want to smile all the time, then don't. I could see you through as well", Jay started eventually, making him realize that since his appearance here, the smile hadn't left his face. "No one is forcing you to smile"
That's the way it always has for Jake. Even as his eyes grew solemn, he will continue to smile because that was his defensive coping mechanism. As long as he was smiling, no one knew any better. Except for Sunghoon. Maybe even Jay now is included.
His mother, Stella, had always said that if you smiled even when things weren't good, they would get better by themselves. It hadn't taken long for Jake to realize that her words were just for childrens, that it didn't really work like that once you faced the real color of so-called reality. Except, he had also learned that more often than not if you hid behind a smile, no one cared to pay attention closer to the truth.
"How do you know I don't feel like smiling?", he shot back to Jay, maintaining a sad smile more for himself. "Are you that much of an observer?"
"It might be. Because like you, I am just good at pretending to be fine for everybody's sake", Jay admitted, and for the first time since he began to speak to Jake, he turned his head towards him and watched him solemnly, "We all have a secrets to keep especially you and I from our parents"
This time, when Jake raised his eyes to his, it was with a real smile as he murmured, "So, what do you know of the secrets of the past?"
"Everything", Jay said after a short pause, seeming reluctant to leave him when his dad appeared from the corner, but doing so eventually, "this means that we have a lot to learn from one another"
No matter how desperate he tried to it, Jake swore that he saw a small smile that played at the corner of Jay's mouth. It felt so very wrong to even become mad at him at this case, when he turned to leave to talk to his dad.
For real, it didn't take a genius for Jake that Park Jongseok would soon be talking to Hae In for the first time in years.
💌 ____________________________ 💌
After Jay had gone on to your room to stay with you, and Jake was there to join him, Hae In was sitting by the chapel in silence. Her husband with Daniel was now in a travel agency to help with the fast procurement of the updated passport along the visa for a citizenship in England a few hours ago, and they should be back soon.
While she waited for them, she took in her environment as the flames from the candles before the man at the cross illuminated the surroundings. There was something about the natural quietness of this part of the hospital that quite scared her. It was as though every seconds and minutes for her, she could hear someone crying from some of the distant rooms.
As she looked up towards the window, the counterpart of the moon ended his duty for the day and there was a footsteps that made her jolt, leading for her to turn on the source of the sound. She had been jumpier since she saw you fainting on them, but it was only Jongseok.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you, Hae In", he says politely, gesturing towards her one fist, that was raised pointing towards him.
She gave him a half smile as she paused to take in the way the corner of his eyes had creases of wrinkles now after his youthness faded as he must've turned forty this year. She lowered her fist and he made his way to sit in the pew behind her.
"Your son was really proving himself to us nowadays", Hae In said as she eyed the way his eyes lights up once again at the thought of Jay before he turned his head away from her.
She casts glances in his direction every now and then, watching as he stared at the altar before them, the orange flames from the big candles casting a warming glow across one half of his face and body, the other half submerged into the light from the doorway facing the corridor. It was fitting, really - the way they were on a place resembling a church when it was the last time they'd seen each other on her wedding - it was an accurate representation of their final farewells.
But as Hae In watched him, his expression is calm as he sat in silence, looking into the man with the cross, deep in thought and she realized he looked the same as before in that sense, but so different at the same time: just like her, just like everyone else.
He met her gaze and her heart didn't skipped a bit. There was just the familiar shift in the air, like coming back to the past where she once hoped to say her apologies and maybe now is the time. He, Jongseok, watched her for a while, the blaze of the candle fire reflected in his dark eyes, before he reached into his pocket and retrieved a beautiful silver necklace.
Hae In watched as he open up to see a picture of their young selves inside. It was her first gift to him, then he paused for a moment, before he handed it back to her.
She received it cautiously, feeling the weight of the past now ending, truely ending at this moment. "It's amazing, isn't it?", she said softly, turning the necklace over in her hands, "that we once thought we'll be together forever. As it turns out, it was just one of our childish wish when we misunderstood everything"
"It's been on my mind since the time I heard my son saw the album I should've given to you, but it wasn't meant to", Jongseok said tenderly, and she glanced up to see that he was looking at her in his own friendly way. He paused for a moment before continuing, "You don't have to say sorry for what you did. I had already forgiven you because in that way, you had teached me something else"
Her gaze fell to the necklace in her hands once more and she felt that familiar surge of guiltiness. "I didn't believe you, you know", she said quietly, turning to face him in his seat, "When you told me before that you're ready to leave everything behind for me, and deep down, I was scared to even love you more than myself, so I run away from that"
Jongseok's face turned into confusion, "But my mother confessed to me that she had something to do with it?"
She hesitated before saying this honestly, "But I could fight for you, and I didn't. I am just a coward back then, and now I'm doing the same for her"
He leaned back in his seat, a look of dismay gracing his well-carved features, "If you mean to say that you will take away your daughter, you would be hurting my son and I'm telling you now, you'll hurt me too", he said with a shake of his head, "His happiness is my main priority, Hae In"
She blinked at his words. That was all she could seemed to do. And as she suddenly noticed the way he was clenching his jaw, his head tilted to the side and it means that he doesn't agree with one of her decisions.
Her eyes inevitably fell to her feet by the tiles below, "I think that's first reminder of who you had been to me before", she said with a small smile, and to her surprise, he returned it.
"The one where I'm telling you where you are wrong", he replied, patting an invisible dirt away from his sweater. Then his smile broke instantly, "My son is serious about her, I know that - so please just change your mind"
Hae In paused, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye and taking in the heart-wrenching way he was looking at her, "But you know me, Jongseok, I'm not the one to back down from my choices no matter what you said to me"
It hadn't been what he was expecting. And her words made him unable to think any kind of response. Of all the things she could have said, and of all the things she'd said to him in the past, this would've been the most unforgivable one.
It made him mad so much for his son that without thinking, he blurted out, "You haven't changed, do you? You're still the same girl being selfish for her sake? Who's to say your daughter would be happy with you deciding for her?"
A slow sad smile stretched across her lips, "You don't know what it feels like to be desperate when I saw her convulsing, then fainted on us after, only to be brought there inside the operating room again, Jongseok", she paused in embarassment, "If you love your son, I love my own daughter as well and I'm willing to do everything to keep her safe"
Jongseok nodded in understanding before asking, "What it's like to be you, Hae In?"
"What's what like?"
He hesitated. "To change from the fragile girl", he said slowly, and she was now looking at him as though he was crazy. "To be someone who put herself first. To be someone this selfish"
It was obvious that he'd hit a nerve as Hae In's face was impassive and she turned to look at him once more, "You really want to know why?", she asked, and he nodded.
Slowly, she lifted her head as she look at him and said in a voice he had never heard escaped her lips before now, "I changed because of the way Stella had once treated me like a trash before, and you don't see the way I'm suffering from the lost of my father. Maybe it's my fault, but I'm just protecting myself from furthermore pain"
Releasing a shuddered breath, she did her very best not to focus on the memories that brought themselves to the forefront of her mind with absolutely none of her permission. And yet, it was always the bad things that sought to make themselves known, to remind you that they were always there, lingering and able to pull you back into that past at a moment's notice.
Hae In certainly experienced some very bad things in her life. Things that this man before her couldn't imagine. Things that her childrens couldn't imagine in their wildest dreams. How could you and Daniel even imagine what it was like to flee from your home in very completely different country with not much money?
Very few people in her life knew just how traumatising it was. Even years now from then on, the memories of those times was enough to reduce a full-grown adult to tears time and time again.
"You don't know what it was like to be away from my mother who needed me that time as well", she said, getting up from where she sat and looking down at him with a gleam of the starting sting in her eyes, "Before long I left you and I lost what could've been our child, she died on me, Jongseok and I couldn't even be there for her when all my relatives say that she was begging to see me in her last hours"
Jongseok's felt heavy as he watched her. For the first time, he thought he'd seen her for who she truly was. A lonely woman burden by her mistakes in the past and her desire to keep her childrens from repeating that for themselves that must have left her empty.
"I can't imagine what that must be like-", he didn't get to finish his sentence when she proceeds to continue with her story.
Clenching her left hand into a fist, she began, "Not only that, because I couldn't attend College anymore, I had to work my way up to be where I am now and you know who was there for me all that time?", this is where she begins to sniff, "Donghyuk. He even paid for my food when I couldn't buy for myself. He never once give up on me"
It was silent for a moment before he leaned into the pew in front of her, and asked, "I know he was going to love you more than I can that time, am I right?"
She was quiet, but then she whispered, "I know, but is that a bad thing?"
There was no pause: he had to reply quickly to prove his point, "I hope you know that once, I think one day we'll meet again and explained to each other what really happen. Maybe this is that one day we'll finally understand"
"Maybe this is it", was all she said, and the way she was looking down at him would suggest that she was daring him to say more.
"Until now", Jongseok began, speaking softly, "All I hope for you is to live your best life. And all I wanted was for you to be happy with what you said is your right choice"
She didn't know what to say at this statement especially with what he added at the end, "And right now, there is something I couldn't ever forgive you if you hurt my son from taking his own happiness away from him, and I'm sure that's your daughter"
She nodded blankly and gathered her things as she left the chapel, being sure not to look at Jongseok, who didn't so much as lift his head to look at her as she left.
Maybe, just maybe, he could convinced her to change her mind and maybe there was a chance for his son as much as he wanted it to be. Was that even a possibility?
💌 _____________________________ 💌
I'm going to inform you now that this book will end at chapter seventy. I mean it, because there's a book two, anyways. And there was a reason why, so I hope you understand that.
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