The hot spring is in the middle of nowhere, tucked behind the woods looking like it was manmade or were built to look like the ones in Japan. On your way there, you see some of your schoolmates with wet hair and covered already in their bathing robes, on their way back before the curfew.
Curfew is at eleven, and it's already ten forty five. There's not much time left, making you afraid if Jay might have already left with the rest. You don't want to lose this chance, this rare courage in your side, so you quicken your footsteps and that's when you spot him, alone in the side of the hot spring, his head tipped back with his eyes closed. At least, he's still wearing a black shirt and not what you expected from the stories about this place.
For a moment, you regarded him in silence until you feel it was safe to speak, "Well, are you still mad at me, Park Jay?"
Instantly, his eyes open and he looks over at his shoulder nervously, "Y/N! What are you doing out here?"
"I came to see you, of course", you say, and your breath comes out ragged. As you start taking off your shoes and socks, your hands were shaking, not because you were cold from the breeze. You were nervous.
Only then did he noticed it. Jay regarded you closely for a minute seemingly like he couldn't say a word, "Uhmn.. What are you doing?"
"I need to talk to you", you answered like a reflex, as you remove your jacket and set it down next to his bag at the ground.
With the steam rising out of the water, you dip your feet in and sit at the edge of the hotspring. It's hotter than any bathroom water, but it feels nice. Your heart is racing out of control now and it's difficult to look him in the eyes, feeling like you've never been so scared in your life.
Regardless of the silence he gave you, you knew that he's just waiting for you to say it. "The thing I said earlier.. I knew it was too sudden and maybe it caught you off guard. But well, I like you"
It comes out so fumbly and uncertain, and you wish you could start over and say it smoothly and confidently. You try it again, louder. "I think it's you now, Jay - the one I'm choosing above all"
"It's me?", he repeated, the way he said it made it obvious that he didn't get it. He simply couldn't understand why would you be choosing him now after all what had happened.
"Well", you started slowly, feeling him watching you with eyes that were so gentle you almost couldn't keep looking at him, "you're the person I think most deserving to be happy"
His pupils are dilated now that he's looking at you so hard. Park Jay is staring at you like he'd never seen you before. "I don't know what to reply to that. Sorry"
You think you stopped breathing when he said those words, like it was rejection and it sounds like one. Did you screw things up that badly with everything that happend, that now he doesn't know? But your heart is pounding like a million trillion beats a minute as he scoot closer to your seat.
The closer he got to you, the clearer you could see him; his eyes had hardened over the way he thought of that someone else trusting him in his mind and yet it was like a blow that wasn't softened at all by the smile on his face.
When he was finally standing in front of you, still on the water, Jay breathed out slowly, eyes softening and returning once more to that gentle warmth that you so associated with him. As if he just knew just how much you were thrown to see his eyes so full of care, he let you reached out to him and did not expected it when you bend down your head, and press your lips against his.
His lips parted in shock under yours, and then he's kissing you back, open-mouthed as he decides going to take advantage of this chance and at first you were nervous, but then he puts his hand on the back of your head. He strokes your hair in a reassuring way, and you're not so nervous anymore. It's a good thing you're sitting down on the ledge, because you were getting weak in the knees.
Screwing your eyes just after he pulls you into the water, so you were sitting in the hot spring too, and your pajama is soaked through now but you don't care. You don'tcare about anything anymore but him at this moment. You never knew kissing in this way could be this good.
He sighed as he holds your face in his hands, "Is this really your final decision?", he whispers, his voice is different: it's ragged and urgent and vulnerable somehow.
He doesn't sound like the Jay you know; he is not confident or bored or even amused. The way he's looking at you right now, you know he would do anything you asked, and that's a strange and powerful feeling.
The last time you really look at him for real, or not just as a friend was way way before all this things happens, and he looked different now from that boy, he smells like the woods around you, like the nature itself. It's not like in the movies. It's better, because it's real.
"Maybe", you say, sounding unsure all of a sudden, but you quickly take it back. "It's just.. I don't like to regret it like what my mom once did to your dad"
Before you could add more to your confession, he leaned in and kissed you soundly as he run his fingers through your hair, and it feels so nice you can't think straight. Quite when your eyes had close you didn't know, but the moment he pulled away, you found yourself opening your eyes, staring up into his own.
In between doubts and smiles, he says, "It's past curfew now. We should get back inside lest a person find us here"
"So what will happen now? Tommorow?", you asks, despite of not wanting to leave, only wanting to stay with him longer.
"We'll talk about it tommorow, but for now, I don't want to get you in trouble", Jay says in way that sounds so worried, which is so sweet.
Softly, you touch his cheek with the back of your and. It's smooth and sharp at the edge of his jaw. It feels like you could look at his face for hours, it's so beautiful.
Then, you were getting out of the hot spring, and picked up your jacket. You pretended that you couldn't feel his heavy gaze on you as he wraps his towel around you before he walked you back to the lodge where your friends must still be waiting at the bedroom.
You made sure he didn't see you were flushing at the turn of events as he turned to leave with that kind of smile. He'd never let you live this down.
But why do it feels like you were flying, thinking he's the one?
💌 _____________________________ 💌
How had you stooped so low? - is the question you got in your mind the morning by the time Sunoo had haunted you and say you were needed at their lodge. Here you are, sitting beside a silent Jungwon in the table waiting for the breakfast. The boy that you've been crushing on since everyone else come into your life.
The boy that you were supposed to be inlove with, or feel some affections, there still is and yet you got your heart for another. How had things gone so catastrophically awry like this?
Jay, realizing you were lost in thoughts, reached out to poke your cheeks. Snapping out of your daze, you smiled at him bashfully when you raised your eyes to his from across the table, "What's going on with you, Dumbo?"
You shifted a little uncomfortably at the affectionate call of your nickname, "It's nothing. I'm just lost in my thoughts"
If there was anyone who knew very well what's going on in your mind, he was that person and yet he was pretending like he didn't know a thing in regards to Jungwon who was closely watching to everything. You'd have turned for him for an advice.
But how could you turn to either of them when they were both at the very root of your problem? How had you become one of those girls?
The girl who weren't loyal to one boy and had wandering eyes all the time. Especially when those wandering eyes settled on one of Jungwon's closest friends. Like to Daniel, you could tell Jay was his favorite hyung and that makes matters more complicated.
When the hell did your feelings for Jungwon began to wane and why had you not noticed it? The more important question was, when did those feelings grow harder in favor for freaking Park Jay?
You just needed to think what you were supposed to do. You weren't planning on making a move for now to Jay, right now he wasn't your priority. Your priority was handling Jungwon. But what were you supposed to do to Jungwon?
"Are you sure you're alright?", Jay questioned you quietly, turning his concerned eyes to you. The rest of the table occupants like Sunoo and Daniel continued to converse, unaware of your private conversation.
"I'm fine really", you assured him, nodding silently to Jungwon beside you, so he would stop.
Jay didn't look convinced but said nothing and turned back to the table. The two of you watched as Jungwon glanced at his watch and rose to his feet with a sigh.
Without looking at you, he turned to Daniel instead, "Our section is having a hike to the mountain at this hour", he explained apologetically, wrapping his scarf around his neck, "What about yours?"
"I'll walk you there", Jay offered as he gathered his coat. He pressed a kiss to your forehead as he rose to his feet and explained, "My section will be heading for the woods and it's the same direction"
"Take care", you called out to the two of them as you watched them leave and it was then that you realized by the pair of them leaving, you had been left alone with Daniel and Sunoo.
Clearing your throat, you reached out for the glass and took a large gulp of the water. Daniel laughed at the gesture and raised an inquisitive eye brow to Sunoo as the latter shakes his head slightly.
"What were you hiding from us, Noona?", Daniel asked, tracing the rim of his mug, it was filled with milk.
Sunoo nudged him a bit, but even he was curious. "Why did just Jay hyung kiss you in the forehead out of a sudden?", he said to point out the obvious.
"You both know he liked me as well, so maybe that's why", you explained, and you had never been so good at lying but today. "Plus, he is a good bestfriend of mine"
"I will soon see whatever is happening here", Daniel said in a suspicious voice.
Not that you would ever tell him, but you were secretly hoping to talk to Sunoo about your problems without him being present. Maybe talking to another boy who felt the same as Jungwon would help for your mind to get straightforward in its decisions. In that way, you wouldn't be so confused about everything.
If you hadn't been so close to Jay all this time, then you wouldn't have needed to forget about Jungwon and you wouldn't have inevitably fallen inlove with him.
This is no one's fault, but sincerely yours.
💌 _____________________________ 💌
An hour into the breakfast, you eat a cinnamon bun and hated the way Daniel hogged all the attention of Sunoo, so you just excused yourself to take the restroom and there is Yana Lin, alone, applying a lipstick with a small brush.
You step inside the stall to pee and hope she'll be gone by the time you come out, but she's still there.
When you went to wash your hands, trying to be quick as possible, and then she says, "Do you know when I first see you with Heeseung, I wish to be you?", you freeze as she snaps her compact shuts, "I used to wish even the boys like Jake or Sunghoon would notice me along that Jay"
Haltingly, you say, "Why would you be when you're more prettier than me?"
"Not that you were ever pretty, so I'm sorry about myself for that", she continued, obviously not listenting to any of your words.
You screw up all your courage and ask it directly to her face, "Yana, why do you hate me so much?"
Yana narrows her eyes on you, like she couldn't believe you for real and she asked, "You don't know?"
At the shake of your head, she scowled as she started, "You kissed Heeseung and everybody knows that he's mine. It's so revolting to find out he would exchange me for someone so low like you", you recoil and she continues, "I always knew your goody-goody act was fake. It's no wonder you and Samantha was getting friends now. Although at least she owns her sluttiness. She doesn't put on an act"
You looked both scared and confused with your body going rigid. "What are you talking about?", you said, shakily.
She laughs, and it's chilling how happy she sounds. That's when you know you're already dead. Then getting ahold of yourself, you brace yourself for whatever mean thing will come out of her mouth, but even still you're not ready for what comes next.
"I'm talking about how you and Park Jay had a full-on sex at the hot spring", she hissed darkly, her eyes cuttng to yours like knives as she spoke. "Elody had seen you out there, you can't deny it, slut"
Your mind goes completely blank that you might even black out for a second, and you can feel yourself staggering against the sink. It feels like the world was taunting you with all of its demons and their Queen is here: You're about to faint.
With your head swimming in alertness, you choked out. "We didn't have sex, you know that"
"I'm sorry, but I think it's absolutely disgusting. I mean, sex in a hot spring - a public bath - is just.... ", Yana Lin pretend to shudder, clucking her tounge over her bottom lip. "God only knows what kind of stuff is floating around in there now. Many use that hot spring, Y/N. There could be a someone in there right now"
The world seemed to crash around you and everything inside you seemed to burn and freeze over in one mighty battle of anger, shock and deep hatred to Yana Lin.
With the tears spike down your eyes, you said, "And now what? You're ready to stretch this from the whole truth? Isn't that you all are, a jealous spoiled brat princess who couldn't ever be satisfied with herself?"
You flinched at the way she stood there so calmly - so casually - and the way she spoke the words without a single trace of emotion.
"All the guys think you were a slut now, Y/N", Yana paused as your whole body goes cold. It's not true. There's no way that's true. "They all think Heeseung is safe now from the little sweet Y/N who were kissing almost all the new students like the ice skater Sunghoon, Jake and Jay", Whatever she sees in your face must please her, because she smiles. "No one loves you like you think it to be. Snap out of your fantasy!"
You stand there mute and numb as she fluffs her hair in the mirror when she adds, "But don't worry. Now that you're a slut, I'm sure you'll have plenty of guys who'll want to date you, so they can all have a taste at what's down there in your pants"
And with one disgusted glance, she left you in restroom and didn't once look back as she whistles for her friends to enter.
You were still recovering from your shock when Elody and Faye appeared in both of your side with nowhere to run at, "Y/N, you need to follow us right now!"
"What? Why?", you asked as they both took your arms, and dragged you out the restroom, then down the backdoor, so you will not be seen by your waiting company and down to the woods behind the lodge.
You tried to break from their grip several times, but to no avail, they just gripped it tightly while they smiled as though they were really the friendly sorts. You tried to ask where they were bringing you, but they said nothing. Because of this, you attempted to wriggle out of their grip once more, but it was as though their hands were molded like cement in to your arms.
You have no idea what was going on, and you became even more desperate to get out of their sight when they came to an abrupt stop in a clearing well away from the premises where the teachers would be around. Something deep within your stomach dropped, and you had a bad feeling about this whole ordeal.
"Let go of me", you said swiftly, looking around to see some of their friends is appearing from behind the trees, but neither Faye or Elody seemed to listen.
"We have to show you something while everybody is busy to notice that you were gone", Elody said, smiling distantly to where she knew Yana would be watching, hidden.
And that's when your heart sank into the pit of your stomach and beyond. You could hear nothing but the sound of your quick breaths and the beat of your heart that was pounding wildly against your bones the moment the two girls shoved you down the muddy grassy floor. Their laughs was quick to follow.
You grunted as you pulled yourself up onto one arm and glared at them who were simply looking down at you with smiles on their faces. Your eyes flickered to Elody who picked up a branch of wood from the side.
She continued to stare at you, but this time her head tilted to the side as she continued to twirl it around her hand. Slowly, she extended this hand towards you and you sighed in relief as you think it was just a joke. But that's when you realized she wasn't handing it to you, she was poising the thick branch above your head.
You tried to keep calm, but found yourself that you couldn't stop from breathing quickly and couldn't slow down your heart that was racing in your chest as though it was desperate to escape.
"Do you know what we're going do to you?", Elody spoke softly, kneeling down to your height, "We are going to make you pay"
You flinched, but still pull yourself together. "Pay? For what? For being jealous of me?", you spat at her in didgust. "That's not my fault"
A snide smile spread across Faye's face as she approached and whisper in your ear, "You constantly think that we're stupid to see what you really are. You think you're so much cleaner than us. Well, now you'll learn that you shouldn't underestimate us"
You knew from the moment their friends holds you back in both side of your arms that you were doomed as Elody striked you in the head with the branch. And when it hit hard, it hits hard, sending a pain through your entire body that your mind wasn't capable of comprehending it.
It all happened so quickly - you tried to dodged their blows and yet you were stopped by the oned holding you as Faye goes down next for her strike. You couldn't breath as they started to kick down at you next and it felt like you were a ragdoll - being knocked down, left and right.
With their continued blows and insult to your head, it's no wonder you felt your vision blur and your lungs ache as your airways become depraved of air. You could feel yourself slipping out of your conciousness and there was nothing you could do when Elody striked down her branch repeatedly at the certain parts of your body.
It bounded into your bones, your muscles and you tried to stop yourself from letting out a scream of pain. But you failed.
The woods echoed with your scream and your vison blurred, your brain losing its function as everything seemed to be directly reacting to the pain. The last thing you heard before the world went dark was the sound of a distant voice echoing through the vague air, the blurred figures of the girls running away and another, a male figure crouching down to your body.
And a set of eyes looking worriedly dow at the blood leaking down in your head before he screamed out to his friend to call for the teachers.
It was at this point of your life where you would be soon brought to the hospital that the last string from your mom's patience finally snapped. As a promise to your dad, one that she holds to her heart, she'll be taking matters at her hands once something bad happened to you.
And that decision of hers would change everything from now on whether you like it or not.
💌 _____________________________ 💌
Finally, we're going to the five part of this book. The peak of everything else that was happening. Although, it made me wonder, what do you think of Y/N's mom will do?
What do you think of her sudden turn to Jay?
Reminder, please vote since it will motivate more to write the following chapters. Please be aware of that! Thank you!