tw: ptsd, thoughts of self harm
yoongi didn't know what to do. his lover was at work but he was itching for the blade. he didn't want to upset jungkook.
he began crying, he usually had a good self esteem but today happened to be a bad day.
he got up from the bathroom floor, sighing as he stold up. he was going to put on jungkook's clothes so he couldn't see his own body and to feel jungkook's warmth against his skin.
—
yoongi
hi
jungkook
hi yooon
yoongi
how's work
jungkook
tiring
my legs hurt
my feet too
yoongi
gonna give u a massage when u come home
hehe
jungkook
i'll be okayy
hbu
yoongi
what about me
jungkook
hru
yoongi
oh
im okay
jungkook
something is off
i can sense it
what's wrong
yoongi
huh
im fine
i really am
jungkook
your heart rate went up
yoongi
jungkook
don't overthink it
i'm fine
if something were wrong, i'd let you know, okay?
besides, i don't have access to anything dangerous
jungkook
grshhsjj
okay
i'm going to not overthink it
calm jungkook
yoongi
yes calm
think about hm
how we went to near the lake for our date and u took so many polaroids
jungkook
ohh yess
we should do that again
yoongi
anything for you
i think i'm going to sleep
in your clothes
they're so comfy
they're big on me
jungkook
well no shit yoongi ur too tiny
yoongi
🖕🖕
i am not tiny 😠
jungkook
mm
wtv
do you want some ice cream
yoongi
i want some
chocolate ice cream
jungkook
okk
—
yoongi decided to go live instead of sleep, he was indecisive.
"hi live!" yoongi smiled widely, waving at the camera, "how's everyone's day? let me show off jungkook's clothes. he dresses so cool and i stole his clothes" yoongi chuckled, standing up and showing off jungkook's clothing.
"please give me compliments" yoongi said, sitting in front of screen, seeing compliments race, "thank you" he giggled, loving the compliments. they made him feel loved.
"i will answer questions" yoongi grinned, taking a sip of water, "kook is at work, he'll be here in a few minutes i think" yoongi said, putting on his glasses to see comments better.
after a few minutes, jungkook entered the room with a cup of ice cream in his hand, the other hand contained his phone, "hey yoongi" jungkook smiled, yoongi smiled back.
"here's your ice cream" jungkook said, sitting next to yoongi and seeing he was live, he waved at the camera, ruffling his hair to make him look better, "hi everybody, what are we doing?" jungkook asked, "we're answering questions?"
jungkook hummed, looking through comments, "someone asked about how's it's like to live with ptsd" jungkook said, yoongi looked at the boy with a sympathetic look, "don't speak about it if you don't want to" yoongi said, "i'll speak about it. at first, it was terrifying, after experiencing trauma, i had nightmares almost every night but they went away. i still have them, but i cope well with then now, at least from what yoongi and my therapist told me and i developed some behaviors but it's all good now" jungkook smiled, yoongi kissed the boy's forehead. he was so proud of him.
"so proud of my jungkookie" yoongi grinned, jungkook blushed, "you're so sweet" jungkook chuckled, looking back at the phone, yoongi made no hesitation to sit on jungkook's lap.
"hm, anyways, jungkookie is the cutest and the cheesiest person to exist" yoongi smiled, jungkook squished his cheeks, "you're so cute"
—
jungkook was feeling exhausted, he had a flash back at work and it left him exhausted.
"yoon, can we talk about something else? i don't want to hear about medicine right now" jungkook mumbled, rolling up in a small ball. the boy raised a brow but nodded, placing a blanket on top of jungkook.
"what's going through your pretty head?" yoongi asked, running his hand through jungkook's soft hair, the boy shook his head, "just very tired" jungkook said, shutting his eyes.
yoongi hummed, "well, we can talk about how cute i am" yoongi teased, making the taller boy giggle, "well that works. such a cutie" jungkook smiled, yoongi blushed as jungkook squished his cheeks.
"i think i'm going to sleep" jungkook mumbled, yoongi hummed, caressing jungkook's hair, "okay, sleep well. if i'm not home when you wake up, don't freak out, i'll be at a store so just call me" yoongi said, jungkook nodded, he loved how reassuring yoongi was.
—
yoongi hummed as he looked at the food aisle, trying to decide what he was going to eat with jungkook.
he gave up on trying to make home made dinner and ended up buying sweets and chicken nuggets.
—
jungkook
hyung
yoongi
yes?
jungkook
ok
yoongi
huh
jungkook
oops
just woke up
very hungry
food
pls
yoongi
did you have a nightmare?
jungkook
maybe
yoongi
yes or no
jungkook
maybe
yoongi
i'm serious
jungkook
☹️
yoongi
ok that's a yes
i'll be there in a few minutes
okay?
jungkook
👍
yoongi
are you doing okay?
im trying to type while driving
jungkook
👍
yoongi
you don't type or talk a lot after nightmares
jungkook
👍
yoongi
do you want to talk about your nightmare
jungkook
🏥📈📈📉📉🖥🖥
yoongi
hospital?
heart rate?
machines?
jungkook
👍‼️
👨⚕👨⚕
yoongi
doctor?
what about the doctor?
jungkook
don't wanna talk
wanna rest
vv sorry hyung
just feeling very bad
yoongi
i understand that
don't apologize
i'll be home in a couple minutes
—
yoongi did in fact cry on his way home. he hated how jungkook was miserable because of him. he made sure to look okay before heading inside with a bunch of bags.
jungkook was on the couch, staring at the ceiling with small bags of ice on his arms which made yoongi feel confused, "what are you doing, bub?" yoongi asked, putting away groceries and what not.
"grounding myself" jungkook said, making the older boy smile. jungkook was making progress, "good to know" he softly said, walking over to jungkook to caress his hair.
"you've been having a lot of nightmares lately. is anything triggering them?" yoongi asked, he was worried about how many nightmares jungkook was having.
"so many people mention your attempt online and it makes me feel like i'm reliving everything and they make it seem aesthetic and shit" he said, taking the ice bags off his arms and sitting up to face yoongi.
"ah jungkookie, i'm so sorry. i'll try my best to stop that, you're doing so well. i brought us some food, do you want to eat? can i do anything to help you?" yoongi asked, jungkook shook his head and he sighed.
—
@min_yoongi
Starting today, December 27, 2020, you may not mention my suicide attempt that happened in August. If mentioned, it will result in legal action from my legal team. My suicide attempt shall not be used for publicity without my consent. Contact my business email that is in my bio with any innapropiate tweets. Thank you for your understanding.
8:00PM • 27 Dec 20
jeon_jungkook: you really didn't have to :(
|min_yoongi: I DID HAVE TO. it was making me uncomfortable either way so benefits both of us
|jeon_jungkook: well then it did have to be done 👍
User8282991: i doubt this dude. remember when he tried to kill himself on august 12, 2020 and he was all over the news lol
|jeon_jungkook: what is so funny about my trauma. please stop, i don't find it funny or okay in the slightest. i have nightmares of it, yoongi gets upset about it too. please stop.
|User8282991: stop your fucking nightmares. don't be such a pussy.
|min_yoongi: you work at a nearby mcdonalds and your name is dae-jung, put your 2 weeks in and i'll see you in court
minyoons: im glad you're taking measures to protect yourself
—
"i got you this" yoongi said, pulling a blanket from out of a box, jungkook took it in his hands, seeing it was heavy, "it's so heavy" jungkook groaned, setting his drink down.
"it's a weighed blanket, i bought it online for you. supposedly, it can help people with mental disorders, including ptsd and anxiety. it says it helps with sleeping and helps produce more serotonin" yoongi said, jungkook pulled yoongi into a hug.
"you're the best" jungkook giggled, his hyung was understanding of him and he loved that, "you're the best kook, now eat, the food will get cold" yoongi said, a bright smile on display.
—
@jeon_jungkook
i love yoon :( he's so cute and :((((( I LOVE HIM idk he's just so??
8:17PM • 27 Dec 20
min_yoongi: ur the cutest ilysm
|jeon_jungkook: ily moree
Y00NKOOK: you guys are the cutest :(
User019368: gay
|jeon_jungkook: yes i like men
—
"the blanket feels nice" jungkook said, walking around the house with it wrapped around his shoulders, "i'm glad it does" yoongi said, washing dishes as he watched jungkook twirl around the living room with the blanket.
"i have an essay to write for my photography class but i feel like shit but it's due tomorrow" jungkook frowned, allowing himself to feel the pressure of his blanket on him as he layed down.
"that's weird. what is it about?" yoongi asked, never would have he thought there would be essays in a photography class, "i wrote it down and also, i have to do a photoshoot with the theme of my choice so i want to photograph you" jungkook smiled, yoongi let out a laugh.
"me? i'm not sure i'd be good for the job" yoongi chuckled, "shut up, you're the prettiest. i think it will turn out amazing" jungkook said, ruffling yoongi's hair, "hey kook, bring me your laptop" yoongi said, jungkook shrugged and nodded.
"i'll write this essay for you, take a rest. relax, i don't want you to have a nightmare again if you fall asleep stressed, okay?" yoongi said, he would do anything for the boy.
"no hyung, i can write it" jungkook yawned, yoongi shook his head, "get your ass to bed" yoongi huffed, lightly hitting jungkook over and over, jungkook rolled his eyes.
"whatever hyung. i think i'll sleep later though so i can write it" jungkook said, "doesn't matter if you can, i don't want you to have another nightmare so you better go relax" yoongi said and began typing and reading, jungkook sighed. yoongi was one stubborn man.
jungkook decided he would make some food that yoongi could eat as he worked, he truly appreciated yoongi.
yoongi had adhd but when he was motivated on something, he would on focus on the thing and that thing only. everything around him was nonexistent.
"yoon, do you want a banana split?" jungkook asked from the kitchen, getting no answer, he sighed and looked at the boy who was typing away.
"hyung" jungkook whined, yoongi hummed, jungkook sighed and decided he would make yoongi a banana split. yoongi loved banana splits.
—
@jeon_jungkook
hyung writing my essay...he insisted to....he's so weird
8:56PM • 27 Dec 20
User832809: he's a natural model wow
|jeon_jungkook: he refuses to admit it,he's so dumb sometimes but i love him
Y00NK00KLVR-: HE LOOKS SO COMFY PLEASE GIVE HIM HUGS
|jeon_jungkook: I WILL CUDDLE HIM TONIGHT
09277yyhi: weirdos
—
"are you done? i'm getting really tired" jungkook said, yoongi had been working on the essay for around two hours non-stop.
yoongi hummed, "almost" he sighed, his whole body was tired, especially his eyes, yoongi typed his final sentences and shut the laptop.
"done" he said, jungkook smiled, carrying the boy in bridal position to their bedroom. yoongi was exhausted, his eyes shut immediately as he laid down.
"i thought i missed college but nevermind" yoongi groaned, getting cozy next to jungkook, "you didn't have to write the essay" jungkook sighed, ruffling yoongi's soft hair.
"but i love you" yoongi mumbled, he was so sleepy, "wake me up if you have any nightmares" yoongi spoke, jungkook nodded, yoongi would get mad if he didn't.
"i love you hyung"
"i love you more kook"
—
stay safe and healthy! drink water and eat some food! sorry for any mistakes, i love you all! qotd: how do you think yoongi has improved since the beginning of the book?