Friday dawned early for New York's finest. The crime lab was buzzing and only two hours into her shift, Lindsay needed a break. She and Hawkes had been assigned the case of a bike messenger who had been stabbed during his deliveries. It should have been a relatively straightforward case, except the guy hadn't dropped down dead when or where he'd been stabbed. In fact he'd carried on riding for another ten minutes before his heart finally gave out. Which meant that Lindsay and Hawkes had the unearthly task of finding the original crime scene. She sat in the break-room hugging a coffee and enjoying a five-minute breather; when Olivia came in yawning loudly, the door banging closed behind her.
'I'm boring you, already?' Lindsay kidded gently.
Olivia smiled as she went over to the coffee machine. 'Sorry. Too much racing through my mind.'
'And not enough sleep to counteract it,' Lindsay added giving Olivia a knowing look.
Olivia poured herself a strong, black coffee and sat down beside Lindsay. 'Ain't that the truth. C'mon then, hit me with it.'
'With what?'
'I know you're going to go all Zen Monroe on me.'
Lindsay chuckled. 'Nope, not today. Not when I'm guilty of it myself. Last time I got my full eight hours was...well, it was that long ago I don't remember.'
'So how's your day going?'
'Almost over.' Lindsay looked at her watch. 'In about ten hours,' she quipped.
Olivia sipped at the black liquid. 'I'm here until eleven.'
Lindsay sighed and leaned back in the chair gazing up at the high ceiling. 'Do you remember the days when you had a fulfilled and active social life?'
Olivia's smile was wry. 'Barely. My entire social life is based on once a week at the Blind Tiger with you guys and the occasional date with Flack. Very occasional.'
Lindsay dropped her head forward. 'How's that going?'
'Pretty great. He's a nice guy.'
'Uhuh.'
Lifting one eyebrow Olivia looked at her. There was a small grin playing on Lindsay's face. 'I've seen this look before,' she remarked.
'That's probably because I've heard that reply before. I think you like our tall, dark and handsome Detective Flack a little more than you're allowing yourself to let on.'
'He's fun to be with. Great in the sack, too.'
'Always a bonus,' Lindsay grinned and took a drink of her now lukewarm coffee. It was still strong, though. That was the main thing.
'Yeah,' Olivia murmured.
Lindsay gave her a puzzled look. 'What is it?'
Cradling her coffee in her hands, Olivia shook her head. 'I dunno, it's crazy...' She paused. 'Thing is...I've been thinking about someone else of late.'
'The guy you were out with Wednesday night?'
Olivia half-smiled. 'He's just a friend. A very old and dear friend. Who also happens to be gay.'
'Ah, Flack will be pleased to hear that. I think it was bugging him a little. This date you had. So...the other guy, you're not going to tell me who he is?'
'It's not that I don't want to, Linds, it's just...I can't.'
'Is he married? No, wait,' Lindsay held up a hand, 'don't answer that. That was me being nosey.'
'Forget about it. But no, he isn't married.' Olivia didn't want to get into the why's and definitely not the who's of it with Lindsay. Not when she was still dealing with it all herself. Besides, she really didn't want anyone knowing that she'd been thinking about her boss and not just in a work sense.
She wasn't convinced that the weird feelings she'd been experiencing around Mac were a crush, but then if they weren't what the heck were they? All she knew was that she'd been curious about him since day one and after the night she'd seen him at the jazz club, curious still. She couldn't forget the way he'd looked, all casual and relaxed; shirtsleeves rolled up. So different to the relentless cop in a lab coat, the Detective who only lived for the justice that surged through his veins. The scientist who believed: Everything is connected. The way he smiled at her...and how she'd felt when he'd told her his wife was dead. The sadness she knew he concealed behind his blue eyes - but because of her own experiences - unknowingly she had been aware of from the beginning.
She tried to reason with herself, that it was just a meeting of the minds. It happened all the time. You met someone and right away feel that connection. As if in a previous life you had been soul mates.
Was that it? Or was it something else? The proverbial - and clichéd - younger female employee and much older male boss? That happened all the time, too. There was also the psychological reasoning. That maybe after losing her father she was looking for a father figure to replace him. That therapist, Dr. Rennick, would have a field trip with that one. But the way she'd felt going into Mac's office that morning and seeing him...it had felt anything but paternal.
She should just face it. She was a twenty-eight year-old woman who was having weird, untoward thoughts about her fifty-one year-old supervisor.
'Olivia, you okay?'
She broke out of her reverie to see Lindsay peering at her, face full of concern. She had zoned out. What with the caseload she had going on and now this...she had to pull herself together; collect her thoughts and keep them at bay. She plastered a smile on her face and gave Lindsay a nod.
'I'm good. Don't mind me. In fact, just ignore me. Blood sugar levels are dangerously low. I need candy,' she said trying to act as casual as possible. She stood and went over to the refrigerator. The ice-cold air blasted out and hit her face. It actually felt quite good. She knew Lindsay was watching her. She could feel her co-worker's eyes contemplating her.
'If there's anything you want to talk about,' Lindsay offered.
Olivia grabbed one of her candy bars complete with a white sticker stating her name from the bottom shelf. You had to put your name on food you left in the break-room, otherwise it would just get swiped by some lab intern or CSI who was too swamped with work to have the time to head out for a bite and too hungry to care about who's food they were eating. She'd done it herself. With one of Adam's homemade tuna pasta salads, felt bad about it for days.
'Thanks, Linds, but I'm fine.' She unwrapped the Butterfinger bar.
'Okay,' Lindsay said, understanding. 'But if you do need to talk the offer's open 24/7.'
Olivia smiled at her, chewing on the peanut butter candy. 'You're fast becoming one of my favorite people.'
'Aw, shucks. Now I'm blushing,' Lindsay grinned.
'So what about you?' Olivia sat back down in the chair. 'How's your romantic life panning out?'
'Not so much panning out as going down the pan.' Lindsay shrugged. 'Don't have time.'
'Copy that,' agreed Olivia, licking her lips. 'What about Messer?' She took another bite.
Lindsay's eyes flew to Olivia's but it was too late, the reaction had already been picked up by the very astute CSI. 'Aw, crap, I walked right into that one,' Lindsay groaned and shook her head.
Olivia grinned. 'You like him.'
Lindsay dropped her head back, groaned again and stared up at the ceiling. 'The guy should come with a government health warning.' She blew out and looked at Olivia. 'Every bone in my body tells me I should be disdainful of him.'
'And you are. I've walked in on you being very disdainful of him. The guy can give as good as he gets though. I tell you, it's better viewing than Sunset Beach.'
Lindsay chuckled at that. 'Yeah, well, it doesn't hurt to keep him on his toes. He's too confident and cocky for his own good. And don't get me started on that damn smirk of his.'
'Turn-on?'
Lindsay's look was pointed. 'This conversation does not leave this room.'
'You can trust me, you should know that by now.'
'Yeah, I know.'
'So does your previous comment mean you're not going to do anything about it?'
'Not a damn thing,' Lindsay said firmly. 'Besides, I've seen him in action and I highly doubt I'm the kind of woman he'd be interested in.'
'Get real. He outrageously flirts with you every opportunity he gets.'
'He does that with you,' Lindsay aptly pointed out.
'Do I flirt back?'
Lindsay snorted. 'He wishes. You know, until you and Flack started dating he was convinced you were gay.'
An ironic chuckle escaped Olivia's lips. 'Yeah, I've had that before. Doesn't surprise me. There you go then.'
'The guy's a Neanderthal.' Lindsay wrinkled her brow. 'Wait a minute...did you just imply that I flirt with him?'
'Don't you?' Olivia said and took another bite of the candy bar.
'No,' Lindsay said pointedly, managing to sound very offended by her remark and making Olivia chuckle once more.
'I think you like our dirty blond, bespectacled and smirky Detective Messer a little more than you're allowing yourself to let on,' Olivia teased.
'Very funny,' Lindsay replied. 'And I do not flirt with him.'
'Okay,' Olivia shrugged, finishing off her Butterfinger.
'I don't,' Lindsay insisted.
'I'm not disagreeing.'
'But you don't believe me.'
'Nope.'
Lindsay groaned. 'I really need to work on the whole nonchalant thing. Oh, what's the use? Okay, okay, so...yeah, I like him. But I do not flirt with him. I'd rather...chew off my own hand. Like I said, I've seen him in action. The guy's a player and I am no way his dream girl.'
'Who says you gotta be his dream girl?'
'Because I've seen the types of women he goes for. The leggy, blonde type with big ol' sweater kittens usually found between the pages of Sports Illustrated.'
Olivia chuckled. 'Sweater kittens? Oh my, you really are spending too much time in the guy's company.'
'That was the kind of thing he'd say, right?' Lindsay groaned when Olivia nodded. 'Didn't I say he should carry a health warning?'
'Ah, suck it up, Montana,' Olivia grinned.
'And that's another thing,' Lindsay complained. 'My name. It's so simple. Why does he have such a hard time with it?'
'He calls me Duke.'
'Doesn't it annoy you?'
'Not anymore. You know what I think? You just have to know how to divert his attention away from the sweater kittens and onto you.'
'This is so wrong, yet I'm all ears. How do I do that? I mean,' she quickly added, 'if I wanted to. Which I'm not saying I do, but it wouldn't kill to know.'
'When we have more time we'll work on the denial thing, too. You need to flirt with a guy right in front of him. Watch his reaction. It's the oldest trick in the book, but works like a dream every time.'
'I'm not good at the whole batting my eyelashes thing,' Lindsay said shaking her head.
'You're a woman. Every woman has the ability to have a guy eating out of the palm of her hand.'
'You know an awful lot about this stuff.'
'My dad once told me that if you want something badly you have to put yourself out there and go get it yourself. Life isn't a fairytale; good things don't just happen or drop into your lap. You gotta be upfront about what you want.' She shrugged. 'Life's too short for regrets and wondering what could've been. No use standing on the safe side of the street, crying over a missed opportunity. If you don't put yourself out there you've only got yourself to blame.'
'I like that,' Lindsay said, nodding her head. 'That's some good advice your dad gave.'
'Yeah...he was full of good advice was dad.' She dropped her gaze to the candy wrapper in her hand and let go of a gentle sigh. Then before she sank any deeper into old memories she got up and dropped the wrapper into the trash. 'So,' she turned back to Lindsay, 'you gonna put my dad's good advice to the test?'
Lindsay jerked her shoulders. 'I don't know, Olivia. I'm asking myself if it's really worth it.'
'It is if you really dig him.'
'What about you? This other guy...maybe you should take your dad's advice and apply it.'
'Too complicated,' Olivia said shaking her head just as her cell phone went off in her jacket pocket. She was ashamed to admit she was almost glad of the interruption. Giving Lindsay advice about how to handle Danny felt a little too hypocritical, considering the way she'd been feeling about Mac.
But there was a huge difference; Danny wasn't Lindsay's boss. As she fished her cell out of her pocket Lindsay got up from the table.
'I'll leave you to it,' she said. 'Catch you later.'
'Later,' Olivia replied and then answered her phone. It was time to get back to work. No more time for futile thinking. 'Cordukes.'
'Well hey there, Detective Gorgeous.'
Olivia smiled. Flack. And it sounded like he was calling from his car. 'Well hey there yourself, Detective Handsome. You got something for me?'
'Sure do,' Flack said. 'I checked out our vic's apartment and came across a membership card for a place called Tachi Saya - '
'Ooh, that sounded way too sexy there, Detective,' she grinned as she left the break-room and walked down the corridor. 'You speak the lingo good.'
'Yeah, then maybe you'll let me whisper it in your ear later.'
'Sounds good, but I don't get off until eleven.'
'Then it must be your lucky night, because it just so happens I do my best work after midnight.'
Olivia laughed softly into the mouthpiece. Oh, did he ever. She could feel her body react at the memory of one of their recent sessions. Plus...he really did make her laugh. A lot. He was cute and funny and hellish sexy. So why could she not stop thinking about - Don't. She shook off her previous thought. 'Before this call gets intercepted by the vice squad, tell me what you found out.'
'Tachi Saya's a gendai budo joint just off Columbus Avenue. Our Mr. Maxwell was a member there. Had been for the last two years.'
'And they practise Samurai at this place?'
'Sure do. This guy was good. His apartment was full of trophies and certificates. I'm just pulling up outside PD. Grab Messer and we'll head down there.'
'Okay, let me find him and we'll be right out.'
'See you in a few.'
Olivia ended the call and made her way down the corridor. She had left Danny in the AV room going through all the possible dojo joints in New York City. All to no avail seemingly, as Flack had found the very place they needed. She rounded the corner, deep in thought, her mind racing at what they may discover down at the dojo and slammed into someone coming the opposite way. This someone had a hard body who instinctively wrapped an arm around her to steady her. This someone was Mac.
'Worlds collide. In a hurry, Olivia?' he said.
For a moment Olivia was rendered dumb. The pressure of his body against hers and the grip of his arm were making the blood rush through her ears and her heart pound a mile a minute. She had found herself wondering what he might feel like...and he felt very solid. She swallowed hard and realising his arm was still around her, willed her mind to form logical words so she could speak.
'Sorry, Mac,' she finally managed to say. 'I was on my way to find Danny. Miles away. Sorry.'
'No harm done.' He had dropped a couple of files and finally let go of her to bend and pick them up. 'Although I'd strongly advise on checking before rounding a corner like that in future. Adam was just wheeling the contents of a dead guy's stomach this way and that could have been nasty.'
She gave an almost nervous girlish laugh and wondered where in hell it had come from, then bent down to help him with the files.
'Good thing it was you then,' she said. Gathering the papers together she couldn't help but notice when their fingers briefly touched. She remembered reading an article that said that babies thrived on touch, actually needed it to survive and that there were many varying levels of touch and depending on who delivered it, there were also many varying reactions to a simple touch.
This touch was accidental, happened all the time. But it certainly hadn't been the first time they had touched. Their late lunch at the Empire diner, for example. He had laid his hand over hers. A simple, innocent gesture meant only to reassure. She had felt nothing sexual in that touch. But this touch felt different. Something had ignited within her when his body slammed into hers and it burned brighter still when their fingers had connected just now. This was getting all together way too ridiculous and out of hand. But she knew she couldn't ignore that it was a lot more than just curiosity.
Smiling, Mac chewed down on his lip. 'Good thing it was,' he replied.
She wished he wouldn't do that. How was it possible for such a simple thing be so, dare she think it, hot? She was done for. The goal posts had shifted further. This, she decided, was no ordinary crush. This was wrong and yet so very enticing and for a brief and reckless moment she wanted to act out the one thing that her dad had always taught her to be - upfront. She wanted to lick her lips and then his and kiss him until she couldn't breathe. Or he couldn't.
Oh dear God. What's happening to me?
She was looking at him oddly. Usually Mac was good at gauging people's reactions, in this line of work you had to know what you were looking for. Was a suspect lying? Was there sweat breaking out above their top lip? Did they fidget? Were they able to maintain eye contact? He knew all the signs to look for. But he couldn't get a read off Olivia. It was a strange look and the only thing he understood about it was that he had never seen her look at him like that before. He stood up.
'Olivia?'
His voice broke her out of her impure thoughts and she blinked and looked up at him. Then he offered her his hand and her gaze ticked to it; eyeing it like it was some sort of bear-trap. Her mind mentally assessed the situation and mulled over what could happen to her internal organs if she accepted what was, on his behalf, a simple courteous act.
'Are you staying down there?' he gently kidded.
She swallowed and slipped her hand into his and he helped her to her feet. Once she was upright, he let go and she found she wanted to hold it again. This was bad. This was all so...How had this happened? One minute everything had been normal; she - employee, he - boss, and the next she was acting like a silly schoolgirl with a - But it wasn't. She'd had crushes before and they had never felt as intense as this.
'You okay?' he asked her.
She nodded, swallowed and found her mouth to be as dry as the Nevada Desert. 'I better get moving. I'm meant to get Danny and meet Flack out front.'
'A lead on your faceless vic?'
'I hope so. We'll see.'
'Keep me posted.'
'Sure thing,' she said and then before she did or said anything that would compromise her, she carefully rounded him and disappeared around the corner. In future, she decided, she would be checking every corner.
The whole experience had left Mac feeling somwhat puzzled. He wondered if she was over-tired, over-worked; or if it were something else. She hadn't mentioned anything more about visiting Dr. Rennick again and he wondered why that would enter his thoughts; which in turn got him thinking about her other problem - drinking.
She hadn't been under the influence just now but she had certainly acted very oddly. He turned his head to the side as if watching her go, his brow furrowed in thought and made a mental note to talk with her later. Then he carried on down the corridor and onto his destination.
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COPYRIGHT. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. DebraJay. 2006