Shawn Pov:
It's now been almost 3 months since Deon and Megan have popped up back in my life. It's been hella crazy since then. Fights are now very common around here and it's mostly white people against white people. Meet someone who changes your perspective, and now you're considered brainwashed.
There's been 3 fights this week. After combining schools associating with 'black' people is seen as 'evil', and dirty. You can get passed Hispanic and Asian as long as they, too, don't like Black people. There was people who'd hurt you for the fun of it, but god forbid, you hang out with someone who can put a smile on your face who is a different race, and it's suddenly a betrayal to them. I have to say, I really don't care what these white people think. I know I'm white but we can disagree with our own.
"Ay, Shawn!" Deon shouts from down the hall as he jogs towards me.
"What's up?" I smile at him, and do our hand shake.
"I'm headin over to Nana's now, you ridin with me?" Deon doesn't walk away until I give him an answer. I nod my head slowly and Deon is out the door.
I haven't been to Nana's in two weeks since my parents came home from their 'business' trip but now they left again so I'm alone at the house which means I'm stayin over Nana's.
"Oh, Shawn, there you are. I've been looking everywhere for you." I turn and see Jenny, a friend of Saydey's, speed walking towards me. I look at the watch on my wrist to check the time.
"I guess you found me. You need anything?" I ask her giving her my attention.
"Not really, just wanted to know if you we're going to hang out with us. Kyle, Saydey and a few others are going to the hangout. You want a ride? I got room in my-" I cut her off.
"I'll pass but thanks for thinking of me. I'm going to my Nana's." I say looking around the halls waiting on MG to come out of the locker room. Jenny scoffs, rolls her eyes, and crosses her arms.
"All you ever do is hang out with them now. What about us? Your real friends." She steps closer to me hopeful.
"Jenny-"
"I mean that woman isn't even your real grandma, she was just the maid that raised you." She scoffs.
"Exactly, she raised me. She was my mom, dad and grandma. And I know who my real friends are." I say completely uninterested in this conversation. I look at my watch, now getting impatient with Megan WHO IS TAKING A LONG TIME.
"They must have brainwashed you. You-you always hung out with us. Now that your 'friends' are here, you're different." I look up at her bored because since when were me and her friends?
"Are you done?" I stick my hands in my pockets. If she say no, I was going to-
"Hey! I'm sorry I'm late!" Megan jogs down the hall (with her bags) giggling. I watch it in slowmo as her chest bounces slightly, and smiles prettily . Okay, time to turn my attention somewhere else. I check my watch.
"Took you long enough." I squint my eyes at her.
"Boy, that hoe don't even work." She laughs as she rolls her eyes and hands me a bag.
"I like to act like I'm punctual."
"Wouldn't need to act if you were." She shoots back.
"Hello? It's like I'm not even here." Jenny waves her hands at us to get our attention.
"I thought you would have gotten the hint." I say as I grab Megan arm and head out the door. Jenny and her have met before, because of Saydey. To avenge Saydey and our breakup, she threw water at Megan; calling her all types of names for 'stealing' Saydey's boyfriend. But, Megan didn't let that slide as She gave Jenny her own natural lip plump. Guess white tears don't save everybody.
"C'mon, Megan, Deon and the guys are waiting on us." I don't want to waste anymore time here.
"Shawn, are you kidding me? What about us?" Jenny stand there looking crazy. Us? Who is us?
"Us? Who?" I ask.
"You know? Your friends? Me?" Jenny point at herself.
"And I thought Saydey was obsessed." Megan says jokes completely finding this entertaining.
"You're the one stealing him from us. What? Is her pussy better than Saydey's ?" Jenny steps up. We both stand here baffled at that assumption she came up with. What does that have to do with anything?
"Yeah, bitch. Yo man can have a taste t-" I refuse to let her finish that sentence. The last thing I need if for Jen to go back to them to making a report on this, but it's too late.
I pull Megan towards me and put one hand over her mouth.
"Jenny, you and Saydey, leave us the fuck alone." Ignoring MG biting my hand and fingers.
"I'm telling her about this" She points at us like a child.
"Go ahead, we aren't together." I turn us around and walk to the door, struggling. When we get outside, I let her go immediately. She bit all on me.
"Dont be doin that anymo, ion know where yo hands been." She bucks at me.
"That's too fuckin bad." I wipe my hand on her shirt.
"I can't tell if she likes you or Saydey." I shrug thinking that Megan is so good at standing her ground. First Jack, then Saydey, and now Jenny have all been down her back this week. And, she's just carrying them.
I can't believe Jenny approached me. I've never even touched that girl in my life, only had done it once with Saydey because she was scared of getting pregnant but didn't want me to wear protection anymore.
"You really know how to pick the wrong one." Megan shakes her head making her long kinky curls shake.
"Megan, let's not do this, please?" I know she was joking but it makes me question everyone I hung out with these last few years.
"Okay, I'll back off." She chuckles with her lip in her mouth, and hold her hands up in surrender. I smack my lips at her as I bump shoulders with her.
"You're such a pain in the ass." I roll my eyes.
"That's my job." She hips bump and it tips me over a bit.
"What is that? A titanium hip?" I laugh as I gain my balance.
"Ah baby nah, this is all me." She grabs her butt and shakes it. My mouth falls open and I stare at it until it stops. She just laughs at my reaction.
"If lil Jenny was here to see this, she'd have a fit."
"Megan, you can't just do that." I saw looking away from her feeling my cheeks heat up.
"Are- Are you blushin?" She tilts her head like it could give her a better angle like she didn't already have a good view.
"No." I turn my head.
"Yes, you are." She reaches for my face to turn my head.
"No, I'm not. Move." I tell her so I can hide my face.
"That so cute." She snickers reaching to poke my cheek. I take her hand in mine to get her to stop. Huh, I didn't know I was cold.
"It's not cute. My face literally tells on me." She takes her hand away.
"Oh like when I walked in on yo- when I walked in and caught you eatin all of Nana's ice cream." She tried to cover it.
"I thought we agreed we wouldn't speak of that." I wrap my arm around her head putting it in a headlock.
"But-but it was a perfect example. You blush a lot when you're embarrassed. You blushed just by me shaking my butt." She struggles to get out of my hold. I pull her closer against me and laugh at her struggling.
"Ay, c'mon, I was just playin. You gonna mess up my hair." Her hands grab my arm in front of her neck.
"That's too fuckin bad." I continue our walk to the car. I wouldn't be surprised if Deon left us. When we're able to spot Deon and them surrounded by cars and other people, Megan sticks her hand in my pocket, and it made my soul jump. I pull her hair in response to make her get her hand out my pocket. felt my whole face turn red.
"Dang, I thought yo wallet was going to be in there." I hear her mumble trying to get me to let go of her hair. But you did find something.
"Why you always so fuckin late?!" Deon shouts with Coiya in his arm. I found out she doesn't like me being around them because I'm white. I would say that's understandable if she wants to be cautious because hello, look around. But she's the NEW one in MY friend group, and has yet to try to get to know me. Therefore, irrelevant is her, irrelevant is her words, irrelevant is her name. I'm pretty sure Deon and Meg would not be around me if they thought I could hurt them in any way.
"Shawn's lil fan club had some words to share." Megan manages to get out of hold, and doesn't catch her footing. She stumbles to the ground laughing.
"Um okay ." He dabs me before I help Megan up who's just sitting on the ground.
"I don't understand why the white boys want our women." I hear someone whisper behind me.
"Y'all stop hatin on my boy." Deon lets Coiya go and puts arm around me. "If y'all get to know 'im, you'd forget he was white too." Deon pats my shoulder.
"Whatever bro." The guy that was talking a few minutes ago said.
"Ay, Megan, why not give us brothas a chance?" The skinny tacky one says opening his arms like he wants a hug. Megan gives them a are-you-dumb-look.
"Yall mothafuckas neva wanted one. Everybody knows about that messy breakup I had, why ain't yall shoot yall shot when you had the chance?" I can feel her tense up. She has her guard up. "Hello, single, still single. You just bothered, go on bout y'all own and stay out of my business like damn." She stares them down.
"So are we still on for tutoring or not? Its your choice, bro. If I was you, I'd call it off since some of these niggas want to be disrespectful." Deon whispers to me as we both watch Megan argue with the guy that was behind us. We hear Megan in the back yellin "Yeah, some disrespectful ass bitches" then the continued yells between the two of them.
"No, I'll still do it. There a lot of people who need help with this course and I don't mind giving it. Sucks the math teacher is acting that. Sorry, man." Deon winds his arm back to slap my back. Making me wince.
"You ain't gotta apologize for her. Now c'mon lets go home, I'm hungry and ready to get this over with so I can spend the day with my baby." Deon says grinning as we begin to walk towards the car leaving Coiya. I wince as I rub the spot he hit me at.
"You just left your baby and your cousin." I point out and he stops and turns around at them. Coiya is looking at me with annoyance.
"Girl, c'mon! Bros before hoes!" Deon waves her over and she walks slowly over. Deon can't seem to notice how much this girl despises me.
"MG, bring yo ass over here!" Deon shouts. Megan gives us a look before turning around back into the arguement.
"She so annoyin like leave that nigga alone." Deon says and Coiya slaps his shoulder.
"If anything he needs to leave her alone. I've known Jessie since freshman year and he ion date Black girls period. And there he is pickin on ha cause he thinks Shawn and her datin. As Megan said he's bothered, and most likely intimidated by the white man. He just want to see ha lonely, and sulkin. Fuckin hypocrites." Coiya crosses her arms over her chest staring at the scene ahead of her annoyed.
"Well when you out that way, I'd be mad too. Everybody think Shawn and Megan fuckin, but he around me more than her. I was around when he had issues using the-" I cut him off.
"Okaay, enough of that." I shut that down.
"Back to what I was sayin before though. She got a stalker, Shawn got a fan club, and they got crazy ass exes. It's like erbody and they mamma wants some attention from them." Deon says as we watch Megan walk back over to the car calm and collected.
"Why you smilin?" Coiya asks her kinda creeped out by her change of demeanor.
"I won." Is all she says before climbing in the backseat. I'm about to grab the passenger seat handle when Coiya grabs it, opens the door and closes it never turning back to look at me.
"Coiya, girl, what you got against him?" Megan asks.
"Nothing." She mumbles. Deon looks at her than at Megan who giving him a look like their able to read each other minds.
"It's okay, I'll ride in the back." I say softly and slide in by Megan closing the door behind me. Megan glances at Coiya one last time before looking out the window.
Don't misunderstand this situation. These two are good friends but they do argue a lot. Cussing, clapping and yelling between them. Mostly because of the shade she throws at me.
"It's hot in here." Deon says. His a/c don't work while the car is driving, but it does while in park. 'And that's why you can't take your car to just anyone.'- Megan.
"Yeah, I hear you." Megan then proceeds to take her shirt off. I panic turning the other way because she's about to strip in the car with me back here with her. Now it feels like it got hotter in here.
"Phew, this helped a little bit." I take a peek and she wearing a spaghetti strap undershirt. Oh, I feel stupid.
"Shawn, let the window down. You all red." Deon says. His windows don't roll back up but if he's offering I'm taking the chance. The air blows into the car cooling all of us. Deon and Coiya are up in the front teasing each other and being so couplie. Fucking nasty.
Megan has her head leaned back against the seat. I watch when Deon hits a bump her cleavage bounces, and sweat drop slide down the valley.
"Shawn, bro, just look out the window. Now I know why you red." Deon watches me from the rear view mirror.
"Shut up." I retort but look out the window anyway annoyed. Annoyed that I got caught. I'm always somehow looking at her. When she's talking, cooking, getting her hair done, just her doing anything, and I'm watching. It's pissing me off. It's like my life revolves around Megan.
"Deon, can I let my window down too?"
"You plan on letting it up?" He ask sarcastically giving her sassiness. She scoffs and lets it down.
"Bitch." She says.
"Hoe." He shoots back
"That's why yo mamma was a crackhead." Haven't heard that one in a while.
"I see every day why yo daddy don't like you." I wince at that one.
"You say that but yo daddy walk past you like you a ghost."
"Same shit yo mamma do to you."
"At least my mamma didn't consider selling me for pot."
"At least my mamma didn't have another child cause the first one is a disappointment."
"Brave of you to claim when you parents still gotta change you sheets, Mr. I still pee in the bed." She says trying to hold her laugh in.
"Funny how your words are full of shit, Miss. I still need Nana to wipe my ass."
I can't help but shake my head as I listen to these awful responses to one another. It also makes me wonder did they approve what was appropriate or if there was a limit. First of all, Deon's mom is not a crackhead, and never was. She acts like one, and yes was tempted to give him away ONCE as a joke to get him to shut up. I was there, and he cried like baby. Don't even get me started on Megan's dad. I just know this stuff they're yelling is hurtful.
"I couldn't be family with y'all. I'd take everything personal." Coiya says shaking her head
"Believe it or not they both do." I tell her not thinking who exactly I'm talking to. She just gives me a little 'hmmp'. For what felt like forever, we only had a few turns left when the two cousin decided to call it a quit when they ran out of things to say. You'd think they were singing songs by how unbothered they were.
We ride in silence the rest of way home. It feels mean but so right to call Nana's house home. I used to go over there a lot growing up. By a lot, I mean that extra room was mine when my parents would leave on month trips. I picked the colors of her walls when she redecorated.
Pulling up in the driveway some of the other people are already here. Monica is standing on the porch talking to them.
Everyone in the neighborhood knows Nana, the watcher of the neighborhood. No one plays WITH Nana, and no one plays ABOUT Nana. The biggest guy on the block calls her GT, she took care of him too, though when she was younger.
"Pues, that's the rules." Monica's accent us thick as she talks.
"Okay people, there's snacks and drinks ready for you." Michelle holds the door open with her hands out to collect $1. They're scamming people.
"They wrong for that." Megan laughs as we make our way into the house. She gives Michelle a high five and whispers something in her ear. Michelle rolls her eyes but agrees anyway.
Megan goes to her room and I go where Deon is at. Everyone is making me nervous with how they're staring at me. I can feel my cheeks heat up. They're judging me so hard right now, but hopefully of something good.
"Y'all chill with my boy." Deon rubs my shoulders and moves me to sit on the couch.
"Uh.. So, who needs help with what?" I ask nervously. There's about 25 people in here excluding me and my gang. They just stare at me for a few seconds blinking before they all start to talk at the same time.
"Woah, woah, one at a time." I say waving my arms.
"I need help with......" Someone shout giving me a topic.
"That's the same for me."
"I can never figure out how to do the multiplications right."
"Me either."
I jot down everything they tell me and do tallies when it's more than one person.
Megan comes out in comfortable clothes and goes over with Monica and Michelle. Again I'm watching her as she speaks to them with a small smile. I mean if you see what- Ow!
I got slapped on the back of my head by Deon.
"Bro, I'll send her away if I need to." He whispers to me pointing in their direction. I nod and smile nervously at them. Some caught on to where I was looking at and others didn't notice. I let out a nervous chuckle and adjust myself. I am here to teach, so lets do it.
"Okay, we're going to start off with the fractions since it's the most important part then it'll lead to the multiplication then it'll lead to everything else, is that okay?" I ask looking around at them.
"Yeah, that's cool." Anthony says.
"Okay, so let's get started." I take my things out and everyone begins to do the same. Some sit around Nana's coffee table where I'm at, some on the furniture and other just make room where they can.
"Monica, how much longer til the break?" I ask her. She looks at the clock.
"Dos horas." I give her a blank look. She knows, okay? She knows I don't know Spanish. She does it to fuck with me.
"2 hours, you should have learned that in Spanish class." Deon says. He might be goofy and all but he really cares about his education. He's just so secretive about it.
Monica and Megan sits on the outside of the group, and I'm pretty sure they got lost somewhere. Deon sits on the floor by my legs. He's so in love with me. (A/n: yall, not literally.)
I go on and on about how to do this and that. Some asks me to repeat and I do. Some got annoyed and frustrated with it but we managed to get through it after some sense knocking from Deon and Monica.
"Um, Shawn, how do you do this?" A girl I learned her name to be Candy asks me as her hands grab my leg. I tense but keep a straight face as I help her. I move her hand off softly and keep explaining until she got it down.
A timer goes off.
"We have an hour break. Pizza is on the way and we got some chilli cookin in the kitchen." Monica says. Everyone gets up and move somewhere. Some go outside to do whatever. Some stay in and stretch, move on the couch and turn the tv on. Megan sits beside me since Deon and Coiya snuck off somewhere in the house.
"They're breaking their own rules. It's a damn shame." Megan shakes her head getting up from her seat. We were watching Good Times to waste time until our pizzas arrived, which was quickly going out as people begin to come in and get their slices.
When I get back to my seat, Candy quickly flops where Megan was and much closer since a lot of people are sitting in the room now. It's crowded even with some still outside.
"Hi, Shawn." She leans over on me.
"Hi, Candy." I say uncomfortable with her being so close to me. I've never spoken to this girl until today.
"So, I was wondering if you weren't busy this weekend maybe we could go out." She bites her lip cutely, but good thing I don't fall for cute. I take a bite of my pizza and swallow.
"Um, I think I have something going on this weekend." I say moving a little away from her.
"What about next-"
"Uhh, Candy, I was sitting there." Megan says taking a bite of her pizza. I look her up and down slowly. How is she pretty without trying? I mean she's just standing in front of us chewing on her pizza, and just looks good while doing so.
"There was no more room. Besides it's not like you'd fit here anyway." Candy says giving her a sarcastic smile.
"I guess I'll just make me a seat." Megan says. Candy grips the seat like as if she glued herself to the seat. It catches both of us off guard when Megan sits on my lap and continues to eat her pizza.
"Is this okay?" She asks me unbothered. I nod my head, because it was more than okay. Candy looks like she's about to blow her eyes out her sockets.
"It's not fair, you're always hogging him. Let people who actually have a chance hang out with him." Candy says loudly causing some heads to turn.
Megan just continues eating her food and I laugh silently at how she's acting. Unbothered.
"You don't even need to eat 4 slices of pizza." Candy says trying to take Megan's plate but Megan moves it and smacks her hand.
"That was your warning. Try it again, I dare you." Megan warns her before turning back to watch JJ act a fool on tv. He really is a funny looking dude.
"You always act like this when the male population is around. What's worst you get the guy then cheat on 'em. That's why I cant stand yo annoyin ass." Megan says fixes herself on my lap where she's comfortable against me. I watch Candy's frown get bigger and bigger.
"You're such a slut!" She shouts. Megan just continues to eat.
"And you're a fat ass!" Megan continues watching tv. Deon rushes out with no shirt on to see what's going on.
"And a white man's whore!" And Megan sits the plate on the table gently.
She gets off my lap and stands in front of Candy.
"How you gon come to my house to disrespect me?" Megan grabs her shirt and begins to drag her outside not giving Candy the chance to catch her footing. All of us bystanders get up to watch Megan drop Candy's ass on the concrete driveway. Megan rushes inside to collect her stuff and throws it in her face; books and all.
"Bye, you fake bubbly bitch." Megan says before going back in the house.
"What the hell is ha problem?" Deon asks as everyone but we all just watch her limp away with wrinkled clothes, and hearing her cries.
"I don't know what's her problem. Shit she better be glad I was in the bathroom." Monica says rolling her neck.
"Megan?" I call for her going in the house. She's on the couch alone eating her pizza again watching JJ at the doctor's office.
"Damn. JJ stupid." She laughs.
"Megan?" She looks over at me swallowing her food before speaking.
"Don't bring it up, I'm over it." Taking the obvious hint.
"Okay." I sit by her on the couch again and we continue to watch tv like nothign just happened.
I feel so guilty because almost everyone who has a problem with her is because of me. Jenny, Candy, and Saydey. I don't know why Jack annoys her, but he does.
"I had no problem with you on my lap." I tell her kind of wishing she was still sitting on me.
"To be honest, I thought I was crushing you." She lets out an embarrassed laugh. "But I saw her pestering you."
"You weren't." She stays still, but I want her back over here with me. No distance.
"Come on." I pull her over to sit on my lap. She gets comfortable on me and we sit in silence, relaxed.
"She should be lucky that MG didn't beat her ass." We hear Monica outside saying.
"Yeah, MG, showed her mercy. If it was me I'd grab a knife." Michelle backs Monica up.
"And she doesn't get a refund either." Michelle says.
"Y'all chill out." We hear Deon say.
"Don't lie, you were scared for her too. We all heard her yell that." Monica says.
"I mean-"
"There was so much tension in the room when we got in there too." Coiya adds in.
I rub Megan's back in circles thinking she's annoyed but she's hyped up. Mumbling agreements to what theyre saying.
"But y'all she didnt have to do Candy like that. If she fuckin the white boy then she fuckin the white boy." Jessie speaks.
"Nigga, how many times they got to tell you they aint done nothing with each other?" Deon yells.
"If not now, maybe later. You saw how he was looking at her. He gon do somethin to ha one day. If he raped her, he'd get away with it." And scream of pain follows.
"Yo ass can leave too." Deon shouts.
"Yeah whoop his ass for us." Megan cheers for him quietly.
"Why is our life so interesting to people?" I ask out loud.
"I don't know but if it's like a movie to them, they need to run me my check."
"I didn't mean it like that bro. I need this tutoring. I can't fail this course." Jessie almost sounds like he's begging.
"You calling Shawn a rapist? I've known him since we were lil kids, he not what you think he is. You agreed that Megan a whore? Hate to tell you but she's aint no where near to one as you are to two. That's my little cousin, bro and my best friend you talkin bout, bro. You ain't got that right, my brotha." Deon is going off.
"Deon is going off on his ass. I want to see." Megan turns in my lap where she's straddling me and looks out the window behinds the couch. My hands hold her hips to keep her balanced.
"What's happening?"
"Jessie listening like he getting yelled at by his father while holding his cheek." Megan laughs evilly. Oh so he got smacked? well it was gonna happen sooner or later.
"He taken the time to teach us what our own teachers won't. I'm not gonna let you disrespect him like that. And if they like each other, so what? If they date, so what? If they fuck, so fuckin what? What you gon do about it? Meg made a point back at the parking lot. You had a chance but didn't take it because you never wanted one. It bothers you that much to see her with a white boy? But from what I heard you've never even kissed a black girl."
"Pop off bitch!" Megan whisper yell through the window and Monica says it at the same time. They truly are best friends. Though, Deon remains unfazed, ignoring them.
"Don't distespect my kinfolks like that. You, Candy or anyone because they aint done nothin wrong to yall. Y'all just hatin at this point. Dont that get exhausting?" Deon says before taking breaths to calm down.
"Now this what I want you to do."
"Why he say it like that? That boy ain't no toddla." Megan says sitting completely down on me putting her hands on my shoulders. Nope, she can't stay like this.
"Apologize to them and ask to stay because I want yo ass gone. You pissed me off, but you need it just like all of us do. Ask Shawn if you can stay, but say some slick shit we gon have a real fight." Deon finishes.
"Okay, let's stay out here for a little bit while we clean up. The cooler is over there as you know so just give us a few more minutes." Monica says. Deon marches through the door closing it behind him and looks at us.
"Uhhh, what are yall doing?" Deon he looks at us. Unfazed by our position, Megan climbs off of me.
"I was listening to you. Aww you really do love me, Cuz." She goes to give him a hug. It's nice to see these two like this cause it doesn't happen a lot.
"You know I got your back." He hugs her back but looks at me. I get the message. 'You too' is what he's telling me.
"Okay, let's clean the table and throw this stuff away." Monica says.
We clean the table and let everyone inside with their drinks or snacks or whatever. Jessie walks over and stands in front of me.
"Listen man, I'm sorry. To you and Megan. Can- Can I stay for tutoring?" I can tell it hurts his pride to say this. Megan pops up beside me.
"Sorry for what?" Megan teases wanting hear the reason. He smacks his lips but one look at Deon and he opens his mouth.
"Sorry for calling yall out yalls names. It was wrong to assume things about you two." He spits out.
"Yeah, you can stay." Even though I want to choke you for calling me rapist and especially claiming I'd rape Megan and get away with it.
"But that was too e-" I hold a finger up to silence her. Adding fire to the fuel won't do any good for anybody.
"Aight cool." He walks past us to sit at the table. I let Megan go and begin our second part of tutoring. This session is longer with only a 30 minute break. No one is slacking. Deon is by my side on the floor and Coiya next to him. Megan and Monica are together in the back again. Michelle is probably somewhere counting money.
It's past 9pm by the time we're done. My back hurts and muscles sore. Even during breaks I was helping someone.
"I'm hungry again." Coiya says.
"Let's go get something to eat." Deon says and gets up, Michelle follows him. Everyone else begins to pack up and leave. Some going to eat with Deon and some going home.
"Be safe." I tell everyone as they walked out the door. Everyone gives me a smile, thanks, and even hugs. Monica gives me a kiss on the cheek before leaving with Anthony. Every single one them are gone.
"Finally." I say flopping on the couch.
"So is it a bad time to ask for help?" Megan asks nervously sitting at the table.
"Nope, not at all." I move to sit beside her at the table. She flips her book to the page and I find out it was the first one. I give her a bewildered look.
"So, you didn't listen to anything I was explaining?" I look her dead in her eyes in disbelief. She looks away embarrassed.
"I learn different and I hate asking for help." She mumbles. I guess I can understand. Megan was always good in school and this math course I guess it taking it's toll on her.
"You know asking for help doesn't make you dumb but smarter." I gently grip her chin to make her look at me. Though her face is in my direction her eyes are looking elsewhere.
"Yeah I know. I've never had to ask for help and this is just a blow to my ego. Also I learn different from the others, and I used to get one on one with my teacher but this new one....just hates us."
"Don't be sorry. Believe me I get it." I smile at her and let her face go. We both turn to get started on her work.
After 30 minutes of working on her math homework I've realized that word problems are not her forte. For someone who reads A LOT she struggles with word problems.
"Thank you Jesus that this is the last one." She leans back on her arms and lays her head back. I'd be lying if I said she didn't look hot like that.
"Okay let's get back to work." I slap the top of her thigh and she grumbles in response. I lagged a bit at the sound.
"Ohh do it again." She teases with a smirk.
"Freaky." I say and she laughs sitting up. Eventually throughout this assignment she got the hang of it, so I was basically just watching her do it. When she's done she passes me the paper. I smile when an idea pops in my head.
"It's wrong. Try again." I push the paper back.
"Shawn I know the answers ain't wrong, so stop playin." She pushes it back over to me.
"You did the multiplication wrong which messed up your long division."
"Maybe if you put yo glasses on you can see better." She turns to look at me.
"I don't need my glasses on to see this is sloppy, okay?" I say. My words earn me a punch on the arm.
"You just be lyin." She rolls her eyes and smiles. God, she's gorgeous.
"Okay, you got me." I surrender not sure where the joke was going anyway.
"So, when's Nana coming home? She promised to make some jumbolaya." I lay flat on the floor with my hands as support for my head.
"She's going to be here late tonight. My aunty havin problems with ha kids." Megan speaks as she packs her things in her folder then in her bag.
"What time are you goin home?" Megan asks. I look at the ceiling thinking.
"I don't know. I'd rather stay the night. My house is always empty so the silence is very loud." I sit up to face her.
"If I'm ever given the chance to slap your parents, would I have your permission?" She smiles with seriousness.
"Yeah, 100% but Nana gots to go first. I just know you'd break their necks in the process with your manly strength." I tease. Her smile drop from her face and gives me a look.
"You ain't funny."
"Oh, come on, ManMan. I'm just the stating facts." I tease getting close to her face. Her face goes soft and she looks away. Adorable.
"Damn, you all up in my space." She puts her hand on my chest and moves away from me a little bit.
"What? I thought you said we was like this?" I show her my fingers crossed before throwing myself around her and hold her in a hug putting my face in her neck.
"Boy, I just be playin around." She wraps her hands around my arms trying to pull me off, so my response is to hold her tighter.
"No, I don't want to let go!" I crawl more onto her. She grunts trying to get me off.
"Shawn, you too old for this!" She pokes me in my ribs, but I still hold on. "Boy if you don't get off me!" I panic as she managed to get one of my arms off. I slipped that bitch right back around her as quick as it came off.
"Or what? I'll let go if you feed me somethin." I whine in her shirt.
"Im not giving you my titty. You can let that thought go." She stops fighting me and looks at me. I fix myself on her and look at her with a blush on my face.
"That's not what I meant." I rush. She looks me up and down.
"Uh huh, so what did you mean? You huggin all on me." She says in a 'matter-a-fact' tone.
"I just meant I was hungry... I mean not for you but for you to give me something to eat that's not breastmilk... or a nipple or... any body part of yours...or anyone's body parts." Just shut up. My cheeks just get hotter and hotter. I was just making this situation more awkward.
"You talk a lot." She smiles at me. I give her an awkward smile back and give a genuine one when her arms wrap around me.
Just like that we're sitting on the floor just holding each other while she rocks us. My heart is pounding in my chest like always when she's around.
I feel one of her hands make it way to play in my hair. I smile as memories flood my head.
"Remember when you used to braid my hair?" She laughs in response. I feel her chest bounce as she laughs.
"Oh yeah. I was determined to learn how to braid hair, and til this day I still don't know how." Her nails gently scratch my scalp. It feels so nice I could just fall asleep.
"My back can't take this no more." She says softly and lays back on the floor bringing me with her. My head lays on her shoulder and she slides a leg around me. We sigh out loud at the same time once we're comfortable on the floor. I waste no time to pull her hand back in my hair.
"Next time my head is getting scratched." She sasses.
"Whatever you want, just keep going." She responds with a hum. Her body is so squishy under me. It's comfortable and soft.
"Do you remember when your aunt tricked us into kissing when we were 10?" I ask turning on my side to look at her. Megan groans scrunching her face in embarrassment.
"Why are you bring that up?" I laugh as it's her turn to be embarrassed.
"I'm curious."
"How could I forget? You cried for hours after." She says.
"Wah! Megan kissed me! Wah! A boy kissed me! Wah wah wah!" She mimics my younger self. I roll my eyes.
"That's not nice." I deadpan. She rolls her eyes taking her hand out of my hair.
"I cried too you know?" She says ignoring me.
"Why?"
"Because it was a mean trick. They was like if you don't kiss him on the lips he's going to leave and never come back. And when I did it, you cried and begged to leave anyway. I legit thought there was something wrong with me." She explains turning on her side to face me. I hang my bottom lip in a sad pout.
"Sorry, I made you feel that way. Truth be told, I don't know why I cried." I grab her hand and put it back in my hair.
"To be honest, y'all was right inna way, I was boyish. I always had my hair braided in cornrows, my chest was flat at the time, and I was strong for a kid; a girl." She stops to roll her eyes.
"My mama would just say I'm being dramatic and that I looked like a girl. But yet, she still would tell me I need to act more feminine. Even though I don't think like that anymore, it really took a toll on me." She looks me in my eyes.
"I'm sorry." I look back into hers.
"It not because of you. Believe me, it was almost everybody I knew." She rolls her eyes.
"For what it's worth, you was always my favorite even if you was super strong and beat me up." She scoffs at the 'beat me up' part.
"Y'all were just weak. It made you stronger, didn't it? I mean you fought Anthony all on your own that one time." She sits up to lean on her hand and I follow.
"True, but I was trying to show off. You and Deon weren't going to let me live that down if I lost."
"To tell you the truth, if Anthony would have won we was going to jump him anyway."
"Of course."
"It was your first fight, and he was doin the most."
"True that." I rock my head side to side in agreement.
"Speakin of that fight, whatever happened to Rebecca?" Megan asks. I groan out loud rubbing my face at the name.
"My parents makes me hang out with her, when she'd ask them for me. Both our parents think were the perfect match." She grimace.
"Damn, yo folks are ... Phew." She shakes her head in disappointment.
"I know. Rebecca has it in her head we are too. Imagine how happy she was when she found out me and Saydey was over." Megan snickers.
"That crazy bitch really is somethin." A smile grows on her face and I cant help but think she has a pretty smile.
"Why are you so pretty?" Her smile becomes nervous and she pushes my shoulder.
"You play too much." She rolls her eyes.
"I mean it." I say with a serious face. Her smile slowly falls and she looks at me.
"Compliments aren't my thing." She says like she wants me to stop.
"It just proves you don't get enough of them." I shoot back.
"I think they'll just give me a huge ego." She responds.
"What about when it comes to your homework?" I retort and she scoffs.
"That's different. I don't depend on peoples compliments. I depend on myself to get the work done."
"I don't follow."
"It means I don't expect no gratitude or award for getting my work done. I give myself the award and gratitude. I depend on myself to get things done."
"You have me." I say hopefully
"Don't say things like that cause I might just believe it." She gives me a sad smile.
"But I mean it. You've be always been there for me. I need to be here for you too. I should've been from the start." I speak the things that's been haunting my head since she's first popped up in my life again. She's always been there for me for everything. She was the crowd that cheered for me even when I lost.
"Shawn, you'll graduate and go off to the military. You won't be here long anyway." See? she remembers things I've said in middle school. I haven't even told my school counselor that yet.
"Plans can change." I shrug out my answer.
"Don't do that." I slide my arm around her waist and lean closer to her face.
"Megan, I'd follow you to the moon and back." I look in her dark brown eyes with sincerity.
"Shawn-" I don't let her finish as I gently put my lips on hers. Her lips responds immediately and her hand holds my head against her.
I use the arm around her to pulls me closer to her. She hums in content. The hand that was holding me up moves to hold her cheek as I pull from her.
I look at her trying to hide her smile. She's so giddy it's cute.
"Do it again." She whispers and pulls me back to her. Our lips connect once again and the tingling feelings in my heart starts again.
Megan lays down on the floor and pulls my head with her. She smiles in the kiss and lets out a little moan as I deepen it. She lip gloss is sticky against my lips and it gets more fun to play with when our kiss gets a bit more heated. Her little moans are silenced by my mouth.
"The hell?!" I sprung off the floor so fast I'm standing before I realize I am. Megan is up too fixing herself. I thought she was coming back later. I'm breathing heavy and my palms are sweaty. It felt like cold water was thrown on me when I heard her.
"Megan?! You here?!" I hear Nana voice echo around the house.
"Yes ma'am!" She walks towards the kitchen where the backdoor is.
"Hurry up and get yo ass in here!" I follow behind her as she walks faster.
"Yes?" We both see Nana setting groceries on the table.
"Why the hell is this kitchen dirty?" She dropped the groceries on the table as she looks around.
"We had tutorin." She responds sounding like she jogged in her. I bet she felt just as scared as me.
"What the hell tutorin got to do with my dirty kitchen? And betta yet, why you and Shawn are here by yallselves ?" She puts her hands on her hips.
"Deon and the rest left to go get food." She rocks on her feet with her hands behind her back. She's about to get us caught. She does that shit when she wants or hiding something, so it's not surprise that Nana gives her a look that she's not convinced.
"Uh huh, but that doesn't answer why Shawn is still here?" She raises an eyebrow at me.
"Oh uh... I was wondering if I could stay over tonight. My parents aren't gonna be home for the rest of the week so the house is going to be empty." I say hopeful even though I know she won't say no.
"How many sets of clothes did you bring?" She starts to take food out of the bag.
"Uhh... One."
"Tomorrow go get some more to last you for the rest of the week."
"Yes ma'am."
"Now, go on yall separate ways. If you want to hide y'all was hookin up gotta hide the evidence too."
"What evidence?" Megan rolls her eyes at my question. Damn, I fell for that.
"You didn't even try to deny it first." Megan numbles.
"Chile, ha lipstick all over yo mouth, y'all came in here outta breathe, you still blushin and yo clothes wrinkled. Y'all can't fool me. Been there, done that. How you think I got 9 kids?"
"Okay, Nana." Megan says shaking her arms to stop Nana from talking.
"Y'all go get cleaned up so I can make this jambalaya." We both nod and walk the same direction.
"Shawn! Yo room the otha way!" I stop and turn around letting out a nervous laugh at Nana's words.
"Oops." I scurry into the room and close the door. Now that that's over I can officially panic. I lean back on the door like I'm trying to block someone from entering. My heart is beating so fast I need to put my hand over it.
"I kissed Megan." I whispered my eyes widen.
"I kissed Megan." I tell myself a little louder.
"I fucking kissed Megan." I nearly shout this time.
Oh no! Why did I do that? What does she think about it? Will she regret it? She seemed so happy it happened... I don't know. What the hell? I mean it was only a kiss, right? I can just feel myself lying.
Fuck.