Everyone says that highschool is the highlight of your educational years, the middle and the most memorable, a four years so crucial that everything else in life hinges upon it. But for you, the highlight started in your first year when the house next-door finally have a new family moving in.
This is where and how you meet the sixth receiver of your letters.
Daniel was having this ridiculous idea of hide and seek with Jungwon in the backyard. You didn't join them for the sake of saving first impression to the new neighbors. You got the idea if they see you playing with the kids, they'll be not interested in talking to you.
Because your mom said when you started developing up a bosom, you are not the same girl who can run around with boys and have to prim up yourself in front of the society.
At the first time you realized book was the next answer after you were prohibited hanging out too much with the boys, you were reading one when this boy climbed up on a stool to watch all of you from the fence. If those forces of life had given you a girl, you would've have met a different end.
But you were beginning to learn from the novels how your life is a story told about you, not the one that you tell.
You're not the one in control.
He stood there, only watching and not saying anything and the two boys looking tomatoes from running was getting embarassed as they were both sweaty.
Of course, Daniel was the one to call out to him. "Hello, new neighbor", he said, running up to him.
"Hi", this boy said. His hair is nearly in the shape of a coconut style and he kept smiling, his eyes disappearing. He was wearing a shirt with a fox-print in the center. "I'm Sunoo. Nice to meet you all"
Satisfied, Daniel turned to Jungwon, the cute thing they do if they were agreeing on something. You stayed by the swing near the porch, watching the boy named Suno curiously when he did nothing more than meet your eyes with a smile for a fraction of second before looking back to the boys.
Daniel asked him as if he were some sort of a leader, "Do you want to play? A play where we will snatch the treasure from a witch?"
"Well, it's just easy to play, Sunoo. The witch and the boring treasure is near to us", Jungwon grinned as he nod to where you were unknowingly reading again. "You just have to take her book away. Game?"
As Sunoo tried not to question the kind of game he was suddenly pulled in, in spite of his doubt, he found himself running towards you and so he snatched the book as the order. You turned to him, watching his eyes widen before he backed away slightly, but you didn't get upset - you knew it was your brother's ploy.
"Sunoo", you tested out, hearing his name from Daniel. He looked at you, waiting for you to carry on speaking more. "Why don't you just talk to me and leave them alone? We were already teens yet they were both still childish"
"Why not?", the word sounded excited out of nowhere and he cleared his throat afterwards.
You grinned at the sound of his voice; so it wasn't as annoying as Daniel's then. "I'm not very good at making friends, but you looked friendly enough"
"My mum and dad liked me this way. They said I am the sunshine of their life", he reminded you, his smile taking up a notch. It feels like the whole backyard is suddenly brighter.
"Oh, right", you said. Smiling excitedly, you moved closer to him and noticed that this time Daniel was grumbling about a sister stealing their friend. "My dad says you were the same age as me, does that mean we will be the in the same grade?"
For a brief moment, you thought you saw another smile flicker across his features when he saw how happy you are at the prospect. But the smile disappeared quickly when Jungwon called out to him.
He shook his head, swallowing thickly as he wanted to stay with you, not to play another childish game.
"What if we were put into the same section?", he said so quietly that you almost missed it. He looked at you as if expecting to not agree but you nodded and he grinned. "I'd like to seat with you in the first day of class"
"Really?", you exclaimed excitedly, hopping out of the swing to face him closer. "I wouldn't be so afraid to be alone anymore. I'm not really good at approaching people first and they said highschool is different"
Sunoo nodded, clearly sharing your thoughts, "Let's see in the first day. I will find you there myself"
"Thank you, Sunoo!", you replied happily, reaching out to take one of his hands in both of yours. "That is a promise, alright? You would be my first friend there"
He tried not to laugh. "Of course, of course. I like you to even try in ignoring you", he said, reaching out to set his free hand on top of yours.
You didn’t know it then, how important this boy would become to you and to the beginning of your first year days, he was there to talk even if he didn't end up in the same section as he promised. But even if you had known, what could you have done differently?
It was never in your decision to grow a crush on him as the days goes by.
Even though the sixth receiver has always been there in the side, always so lively and clearly a fondness but you have to surpress it as it is.
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You think you have seen too many movies featuring kids living next to each other falling in a snappy and happy ever after because every time you see Sunoo from their front door, to their yard or even to the windows of their kitchen - your heart which hasn't been beating since Sunghoon's letter become alive again, and his room is an exception because it had to face Daniel's, of course.
It takes most of your time to stay outside your house in those glory days, but you figure out if you were always in the front porch reading something and it comes out really nice when Sunoo walks out of their house to get the delivered small cargo from their mailbox.
He noticed you without a fail; he lifts his hand like he's just going to wave and not come over but then he does.
"Hey, you look nice in that dress", he says as he makes across the driveway. He only wore a simple white shirt, but still, he looked cute.
The dress you wore is a denim fabric with sunflower patches in the front part and it is in a spaghetti strap. You got it from your mom and the patches was your idea.
"It's a gift from my mom, thanks", you tell him, pretending to go back in your book and adds, "Daniel is inside, growling about how hot the summer is"
The last thing you need is for Sunoo sensing you were sweaty in the back, but you left the comfort of the aircon inside just to get him to notice you outside.
You can feel him looking at you, arms hugging his cargo before you were forced to meet his eyes and ask, "Is there something you needed to say?"
"Wanna join me and my family at our movie marathon tonight? It will happen in the backyard. With tents and we will set up a projector", he suggested.
Daniel steps out in the wrong time and you'd never really realized before how threatening his existence can be. "We will join you tonight. Can I bring Jungwon with us?"
"The more the merrier", Sunoo made it sound like it was the greatest idea in the world, but for you it wasn't. "I'll tell it to my mom we have an addition"
"It's nice to know you're so excited, noona", Daniel muttered, his eyes giving you a slow wink. You didn't really get it, of how this brother of yours can see through you.
With him being the very nuisance of your life, it was frightening he was the first one to know if you have a crush on a certain person. Your dad wasn't even aware of it, until his giant son reveal it without a care to your permission.
He reaches out and tries to get a closer look at your book. You slap his hand away, but not without him saying as if it was really the content in front of Sunoo.
"And there I first saw the cute boy moving in next door and my heart was beating so fast to see his smile. It was brighter than the sun and oh god, I knew he was my destiny", he cracks up. "What are you even reading? It's so funny!"
Growing flustered under Sunoo's questioning gaze and with your cheeks burning, you thanked your lucky stars of how thick your book is before it met Daniel's head. "Some day, you will just wake up with me trying to poison you, dumb head"
But it only took one look at Sunoo's face as he laughed over you and Daniel, all your anger was quickly fading away. As he waved a goodbye and return to their house, he wasn't aware of how you and Daniel eventually continued your fight inside the house, with you locking him on a chokehold for putting you in the spot.
And you especially pretended not to see your dad climbing down the stairs, checking to see if his childrens had finally murdered each other and his face fall at you being so unlady like but he can't stop you or the never ending fight.
Not when Daniel was the one who started it.
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The two boys was over the moon when Sunoo's family eagerly welcomes them at the night and there were so many food selection as the movie starts with Frozen. Daniel and Jungwon even make them laugh at their parody of Let It Go in a duet.
But at least, while they were being busy being attention seekers, you sat by Sunoo's tent and you were watching him more laugh than the movie itself. There were times you felt left out and he was quick to share his opinions about The Notebook.
It's strange to hear him about how powerful love is, but then everything feels good and new and your heart is beating madly at his closeness, which was a comfort.
When the movie marathon is over, the whole family cleans out with your help and Daniel is delighted to hear you all can stay to sleep in the tents where Jungwon get his from your house. Seeing that it was only for two, it's safe to say you ended up sharing with Sunoo and for once, your dad promise to keep it a secret from your mom.
Without a word, Sunoo layed his head in your lap once you zipped up close the tent and he was closing his eyes as he asked, "Did you have a great night with my family?"
"They're all so nice like you. It's no wonder you were a good egg", you said with a smile as you tried to stop touching his hair. "Even the two was energetic the whole time"
It was as if he had read your thoughts as he questioned, "Do you wish for things to be always like this? No pain and sadness, as if we were all just suspended in nothing but happiness?"
"I hope for those things too", you replied to him. Your heart was pounding away like a mason on the ground. He is not only friendly, but thoughtful of the things that really matters.
He opens up his eyes, searching your face for fear or worry, but he don't see it, though. "What are you afraid of, Y/N?", he asked. "Will you tell me?"
The thing is, he doesn't see how you were simply hiding the feelings inside for him. It wanted to burst, to be reveal and be known to its owner of its affection. Except, he surged forward to place his arms around your waist making the thoughts in your head disappear into thin air.
When you managed to understand just what had happened, you returned the hug and only for him to pull away from you.
You blinked at him with a confused eyes. He only smiled. "Y/N.. do you think you can fall in love like Allie and Noah? You know real love and powerful?", he asked.
He caught you off guard; you don't have an answer ready for him because even then, you understand the difference between infatuation and love. Love is a serious topic - real love for you is when you are ready to marry that person for the rest of your life.
You were still trying to think of an answer, but he's already talking again like a chatterbox. You liked that about him. Any conversation was never boring with Kim Sunoo.
Wistfully, he says. "I wish I could find that in high school. My mom and dad did. And now they were still going strong"
Then he lets out a little sigh and fell asleep. He doesn't even hear what you want to say and you turn on your side, closing your eyes, feeling his back against yours.
If only he had wait a little more, he could've known your answer. Just once, you'd like to try if he and you can be a highschool sweetheart.
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No matter how much you liked Kim Sunoo that time and think that he's mature, when it came down to it, he was just like every frustrating boy in the school.
When the tent night is over, it had been fine and he said see you again before you return home, and you had hoped after waking up facing his sleeping face, something would develop.
But apparently that was too much to ask.
The boy, as cute as he is, was going out of his way to avoid you. And when he couldn't avoid you if he was told to deliver a homecooked food to your house, he spent the entire time only talking to Daniel and didn't even glance your way. You nearly cried then and held it for your dad's sake.
He wasn't exactly being subtle in his avoidance of you. Even Jungwon who had seen beforehand how you liked the boy asked what did you do and once it reached a month of Sunoo's sudden treatment of making you a ghost, you had enough of everything.
When you wrote a letter, when you said a goodbye to an unrequited feelings, you mean it. It's over. It wasn't even that hard to start the one for Sunoo. Letting go was easy, but when you thought about the moments you have had with him, why do you even want to cry at his sudden avoidance?
But sitting before the desk facing the yellow colored paper, the one you can buy from kawaii stationary's store, all you can think of is how much it hurts, but most of all, of how it was so disappointing.
Dear Kim Sunoo,
I wanted to question you of all things of why, why did you avoid me? What did I do for you to treat me like a disgusting plague? Will you tell me?
By all rights, I thought you were liking me back. You said it the first time we meet each other in the backyard and how could you treat me so special in the school if this is how it would all end. Not in a million years, did I think someone like you could break me.
Here I thought thinking the night we were sleeping back to back in the same tent was a special new beginning. I even kept awake for so long, to watch you sleep and it was so peaceful, like everything you said then, everything about is suspended in nothing but happiness.
I know you and I haven't had much time to really connect and get to know each other, and I know that if we got together it wouldn't be for long. Perhaps like in every story, I have to let you go in order for you to find the one who you really deserves and it's not me.
Lastly, I am really sorry for everything wrong I've done behind the reason why you stopped talking to me suddenly. I got those signals wrong, I know. Maybe you make everyone around you feel the way you make me feel, maybe you care deeply for everyone around you. But do you even care what would they feel for real?
Here I am writing this because I could never express this in words because you made me fall short of words each time I saw you. So, here I conclude my letter with a hope that someday all my questions for you will be answered.
In which case, I am ready to tell you here how you become a Noah to me because of cirmcumstances, but in ten years, will you find your way back to me?
Sincerely, Kim Y/N
P.S I nearly fall in love with you for real.
When you were done, you put the letter in the vintage box and there's only one you can think of, you were now ready to forget Kim Sunoo like the rest of the boys. But it’s hard than you thought it would be.
If you were capable of freezing time, then you wish you could take it all back and fling the chances of meeting Sunoo away. You weren't going to continue chasing after him.
Not when he couldn't clearly be bothered to give you a single moment of his time.
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What do you think of this cutie breaking your heart? His reasons will be told in the later chapters.
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