With the door pounding against your ears and the voices of Daniel along the three boys of your dreams now dressed like a nightmare inside your own home grilling down your sense of propriety - the tone of your phone is really a good change.
It's a nice thought to pick it up while in the process of escaping them all, well, not anymore at the view of the ice skater's official instagram sending you a message personally.
ParkSunghoonofficial:
I refused to make this public, but are you really the one who send it to me?
You, for one, was troubled again for the second time today. This was just the kind of scenario every lunatic fangirl or even fanboys was asking for in every fandom, for their special admired famous person to notice them, but why do he have to join the throng of your problems?
First, Daniel - the very brother you need to get rid of in the name of revenge. For he was the one to make it all the worse for you by commenting in the post for everyone in your school to know that you are the sender of those stupid, lovesick and desperate letters.
Second - Jungwon. Why does he have to be so close to your family?
Third, Sunoo and Ni-ki. They literally joined force to make it a lot better, but why are they here? Weren't they supposed to just ignore and threw the letter in the trash?
And most importantly, the important question is, what will you do if they confronted you all about the letters?
Pushing away the gloomy thoughts from your mind, you focused on the fact you could stay there for hours - sitting in the toilet bowl to read the latest update of your favorite author in Wattpad. With a newly happy mood, you placed your legs atop one another and made yourself at home in the bathroom. You started to read, but Daniel's voice beat you to enjoy it, shouting through the door, his words ended your mood the way it always did.
Once again you were super grateful that fate brought your brother into your life. "Jungwon, go to my dad's room. The key is hanging behind the door!", is what he had shouted.
You swallowed and yelled louder than for him to hear. "Just enter here and trap me, Daniel, I'm not helping you anymore in your assignments!"
Like all great people in the world, you're fortunate enough to not work well under incredible stress. By the time the doorknob turn, and with it brought Daniel and Jungwon stumbling together inside, you were now panicking behind the curtain of the tub.
"Hi, Y/N", Sunoo said when he walked up to flick the curtain aside and see you pressing yourself in the tiled walls.
He looked at you, glancing to the side quickly. Following his eyes, you set sight on the boy standing behind him and a smile spread across Ni-ki's face as he watched you began to turn red from embarrassment. You tried to get past him, but he only step aside to where you were opting to go, like the last thing he wanted to do is to allow you in going out - so that you can't leave them for good.
It was like a playful dance - you step to the left, Niki was there. You step to the right, he swerved in that way. You didn't have to dwell on why he was doing it, for Jungwon, the one you currently liked, draw him out the room with Sunoo. His dreamy voice reached your ears, too soft compared to Daniel's annoying tone.
"I plan to talk you first", he explained, locking the door to your brother and once again, you were trapped without a choice, but to stay.
His cheerful demeanour seemed unfit of his stark posture and unwavering stare. He looks as if he's about to say something more, then turns and gestures to the slightly crumpled letter in his hand. "What are you on exactly about this?"
"Mind if I ask, have you by any chance get it from the mail or directly from Daniel?", you enquired bravely, and he turned back to look at you, a smile confirming it comes in.
His slightly wavy brown hair at his forehead, his eyes to yours flustering you to no end as he waited for you to speak. He smelled faintly of baby cologne with some bits of ice cream, and for a moment, you forgot how the thing you were hiding from him is out.
From afar when you begun to have a crush on him, you had thought a boy like him had to be fake. A boy that was cute, handsome, honest, polite and a bit savage can't possibly exist. You can't deny that deep dimples, a skills in Taekwondo and his cat-like features was illegal in a way; you couldn't deny the one you liked the most out of the seven.
But you can't also deny the nerve of your brother's voice giggling through the door behind him.
Finally, you replied in a whisper, careful of your tone inside a bathroom with him at his previous question. "You already know why"
"So, out of the seven letters, which one of us is the best?", Jungwon pressed further, briefly looking down at the longest letter that you sent.
"Well, you - you didn't need to know that", your reply sounded thoroughly unsure - you already doubted what would he say if you tell the truth without hearing him first.
He eyed you with much attention, trying to decipher your thoughts. "If that's only what you were going to say which is obviously a lie, then maybe this letter is a mistake"
Before you could interrupt him, he continued with a swift raise of his free hand, determined to make you see sense prior to your lie. "But I don't really believe that you've moved on from me, either. Not when I can see the way you look at me"
Standing in a bathroom alone with him, with the late afternoon filling the windows, you hated yourself for not having the courage to say it to his face. And you realized that whatever else you'd done, it was the wrong move; because even though he was patient to wait - it had all gone horribly wrong the time Daniel sended the letters to the other boys.
And it wasn't fair to Jungwon.
When you cleared your throat, his face dropped. There must have been something in your eyes, which were always giving you away.
"Heeseung is the best for me", you began, and his face darkened a shade.
Thankfully, he was a nice boy and didn't dare to question you further, turning around and unlocked the door to leave. You had nearly forgotten your brother along Ni-ki and Sunoo, but it didn't take long for them to look at your face, it was enough for them to follow the Yang boy as well.
You really didn't know if it was socially acceptable or even healthy to admit that Jungwon knew you were lying, but you can't help it.
The brain of yours had nearly shut off when you lay back to your bed to think of how to forget the first confrontation - there's only one person coming into your mind.
Park Sunghoon - a simple name enough to bring you back in the time of you coming to the beginning of your thirteen year's old existence.
The first time you met him... in one of his competitions.
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Your dad was true to his words; at exactly the date of your thirteen's birthday, he had managed to acquire a pass at Taereung training facility. The front door are open and Mr. Kwon hovers in the doorway to welcome you warmly with Daniel.
After stepping out of the car and move your brother in front of you looking like a small pig with his chubby cheeks from back then, you simply stood there for a moment, peering up at the enormous building.
From inside you can see the familiar faces of the fresh batch of the national skaters along the seniors and their trainers. In the doorway, the guard smiles at you expectantly to follow Daniel inside. But you spot another person who your dad is talking to. Beside him, a lean boy wearing a sportswear is holding to a pair of skating shoes.
The same boy who answered at his latest interview that Red Velvet Irene is his ideal type.
You looked left and right, only to see Daniel smiling widely to the famous female ice skater, Kim Yuna before taking off toward your dad where you catch the attention of the man he talked to.
"Ah, you must be the birthday girl, Y/N!", he says too brightly. "We're so glad you all made it here. Don't worry, dear - we'll make your tour here enjoyable at every second"
You were struck a bit speechless, wondering what kind of tour you might be acquiring from someone like him once the whole day's events are set in motion. But before you have a chance to say anything, he makes a a quick gesture to the boy behind.
"Here is Park Sunghoon", he says, and the boy only nodded at you in a timid way before heading to a particular room.
But by the time his own instructor walked you around the map of Taereung, you have to admit how every part of their training structure is excellent. You were just a bit jealous to see the girl skater who was always with Sunghoon and her hair is pulled back in an elegant bun when she rushes by and between that and and the makeup, she looks too pretty compared to your ordinary face.
What was surprising, what was shocking at the end of the tour, you got to attend the personal training of the junior male ice skaters. At the edge of the rink, you took a sit the furthest from Daniel and watched as Sunghoon stretches for a warm-up before the door to the ice opens up to him.
As he makes his way up the rink, you have to remind yourself how to breath at the mere sight of him. The music of Frozen's theme song is loud in your ears and the dim lighting of the dome-shaped ceiling makes you blink. Its hard to tell whether you're warm because you wore a thick jacket or because of the unknown feeling in your chest that you are trying hard to push away, that familiar sensation that comes at seeing a very attractive human.
By the time they took a break, most people had already left. Even so, your dad was still busy catching up with Mr. Kwon, and there'd been no time to stop Daniel when he accepted the other instructor's invitation to teach him.
"Where is the restroom here?", you asked when you scrambles back to your dad and he immediately pointed to the door at the end of the left side, the closest one to the ice skaters sitting in the bleachers while taking a breather together.
On your way towards the bathroom, your heart stopped to spot a person stepping out from it, which turns out to be Sunghoon.
"Are you going to use it?", he asks, and the way he looks at you, it's as if he is the ice itself, had made you shudder inside. "It's out of use. I am going to head for the restroom out in the hallway. You can use the females's one there"
You look off towards Daniel who is falling onto his butt before answering quietly, "Okay. I'm just going to follow you there"
Sunghoon nods, perhaps realizing that it's awkward to invite a girl on the way to the restroom. As he turns to leave for the door and didn't give you a second glance, you were suddenly filled with a sudden joy for whatever it is that awaits you for the rest of the day.
When you met him again after taking his advice out in the hall, he turns back to you with a shy smile. "Are you the sister of the tall boy in there?", he says, and you feel your smile wobble and then fall. "He's a fast learner"
"I guess so", you replied, stuffing the very last bit of your doubts in the corner of your mind. "So, may I ask you if I can take a video of you skating?"
He is standing close enough that you can see two moles from the side of his nose and under his left cheek and the rush of memories watching him avidly in the TV had flash in your mind, it makes your heart quickens. He's looking at you as if waiting for something - for what? - as if you should be the one to initiate a conversation again.
He steps away awkwardly. "Yes, yes, you can"
With that as a parting word, he left you and strolled all the way to the entrance. You were stung by this by him leaving you immediately, the same tender spot that had ached when you first realized that he wouldn't learn to return it in the same way.
But this time, almost without realizing, you find yourself accepting it and thinking it was the way of life.
It's entirely too impossible to be wishing all the seven of them could ever like you back.
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The next day before your small family is to return at home, you awoke in a hotel room where your dad said, you'll be joining Mr. Kwon to cheer their junior's team and this turn out to be something not bad at all for you, because you, out of the people, ended up sitting before the team's reserved seat.
You had kept quiet for a long time when he gives you a brief smile as he sat beside his friends; when their instructor told him he is the next participant; and even when he is on the rink, you found it amusing that he was making an eye contact with you.
The way he looks right then, so tall and handsome in a white top which had a three cuts in the back to show some skin of his, reminds you of a beautiful white swan in a lake. Your eyes travel up to his face, and when the music shifts and swells as he ended his performance in a elegant pose after a triple axle, the audience rises to their feet to give him a deserved cheer.
But at the end of it, when everyone was waiting for the next one, you excuses yourself to buy water out of the arena and you were drinking as he appears again, looking so handsome and graceful that you worry you will be having a heart attack over his appearance.
As he reaches the water fountain, he glances over his shoulder and flashes a smile at your dazed expression - who - despite everything in between the two of you - smiles back reflexively.
"I thought you were only having a tour yesterday?", Sunghoon says, staring at you in a way as if he's not quite convinced you were actually there.
You lowers your eyes, finding it hard to look longer in his eyes. "Mr. Kwon invited us here saying it was our last day anyways, so why not enjoy the rest of it?"
"Alright then", he muttered, turning back on his heels and you nearly thought another conversation is over.
Not when he nods at the door leading up to the resting area, where benches along the small garden is available and the two of you walk over there together, the sound of a song starting for his teammate could be heard inside.
Just as you were about to sit, he handed you his tumbler and then he sits down. "Drink this, my favorite juice made by my sister", he says by way of explanation.
Receiving it from him, you glances down at the tumbler, blinking as if you'd never seen a juice before. Something about the gesture opens up your heart further for him, the idea that he drinked it too leads your very imaginative mind to think how it was basically an indirect kiss.
Unable to find words to refuse him, you took a sip and find yourseld coughing out madly by the intense sour taste of lemon juice, only to hear him laughing - as though he was already expecting it. And then his eyes crinkled at the edge, your eyes focusing over his smile which was leaving you overly dazzled.
"Did you really plan this?", you asked, now turning to cross your arms and he shrugs, leaving a few inches between the two of you upon realizing how he had been too closed.
"I just want to laugh to forget the nerves before coming out of there again", he says, leaning forward in the back of the bench. "It's nice of you to keep me company"
But you didn't answer, realizing how the two of you were both introverted trying to get pass your awkwardness in meeting new people. And after a moment, you speak out. "What it feels like to be so good at ice skating?"
"I don't know", he says with a small smile. "Before the reason is my mother saying I need to develop my social skills, but today, I loved it like an old friend"
Besides him, you pick at the small handle of his tumbler, unsure of what to say. But he enjoyed the quietness, his eyes closing as he savor the fresh air and you, you were just gazing at his unbelievable visual.
The only thing you could look at is his dark hair was still flawless looking even if he had a ran his fingers through it a countless time; at how his eyes widen catching you staring at him deeply, which he doesn't mind; at his pink, parted lips at the shock of having to remove your gaze at him by moving your head at the other side.
"So, I can be talkative when I want to", he says with a little shrug. "But we better not try. I am quick to be affectionate with the people I'm comfortable with", his hands are balled into a fist in his sides. "And you will be leaving after this"
You smiled apologetically as he began to look away. "What? I don't understand what you mean by that"
"It's nothing", he said quietly and the two of you fell quiet again. Because that was the reality of it, the moment seemed as though it was near to the ending.
From the door to where you exited before came the sound came the sound of his name being called and you watched as he abruptly stood up, answering that he was coming then beckons you to follow. Once you handed him the tumbler, you stepped up to him, only to be swept into a hug.
"I don't know why I did this, but this seems like a better idea than saying a goodbye", Sunghoon muttered into your hair but then stiffened, having clearly remembered he doesn't even know your name.
When you wrapped your arms around his waist and hugged him tighter, all of the tension seemed to drained out of him. "I'm going to miss you, Park Sunghoon"
To your surprise, he kisses you in the cheek then. Not like the kiss from the books you had read, which was spoken well. In reality, it was soft and sweet and full of farewell.
He pulled away from you, holding out a hand. You take it happily, shaking it like you were introducing each other to one another until he finally lets go.
"Good luck", you say, though with his competition or after you will not see him, you were not entirely sure.
"Thanks, Y/N", he says with a nod before turning around to go after his teammate waiting for him.
At the last moment, almost an afterthought, he looked back and gestured at the visitor's ID hanging arond your neck - the reason why he had find out your name.
And that's how you wake up the following day to write a letter for him, already back in your home town and the night before was spent staring out the window car, wondering if he's after a friendship or something else, had you not been only a visitor.
But that letter for him, that wasn't typical of you to make it shorter and ended it in a lighter note without your heart breaking a bit.
Dear Park Sunghoon,
I don't think I will ever stop searching for your face among the crowd. I'm writing this to tell you that I liked you.
Why do I like you? I don't have an answer for that, but I guess its just the vibes you gave me when I first saw you in a TV and the smiles you put on my face when I finally meet you in personal.
But most importanly, the way you talked to me and even if it was awkward as hell, I loved every second of it especially at the last day.
As the days goes by I think I can feel myself growing closer to forget about you and I don't ever want to lose these feelings, but I have to. At least, you'll always be a happy memory for me in my early teens.
Still, I just want you to know that wherever the road of life may take us, and how far it might be to who we had been once, always know that you are my first crush.
Life hasn't been the same since I met you.
Sincerely, Kim Y/N
P. S - Why did you have to be so beautiful among the human beings?
And after you ended the letter, you were able to finally find a time to sleep - hugging the letter for Sunghoon tightly against your chest, like those hopeless romantic in the movies and you closed your eyes, dreaming of those dazzling smiles of his.
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