C-9
"You can borrow my sister's clothes so you can change."
He suddenly changed the topic which made me confused more. I was about to ask him but I also stopped myself because it's too obvious that he doesn't even want to talk about it.
"But what if magalit siya?" Pagtatanong ko na lang.
"She wouldn't mad, I'll assure you," seryosong anito at nagtalukbong na ng kumot.
Tumango na lang ako kahit pa naging palaisipan ang sinabi niya sa 'kin. When I go upstairs, hindi mawala sa isip ko ang kung anong ibig sabihin ng sinabi niya kanina.
"Adriel, you really know how to give me a questions everytime you're talking, huh." I just shook my head, removing any thought na related sa sinabi niya kanina.
I just entered his room's sister. I was amazed when I looked the every corner of the room. Napakaganda ng designing and napakaorganize niya sa gamit. The way how the things settled. The way how clean this room as if ayaw na ayaw dinadapuan ng dumi.
"I wonder how his room looks like." I looked around again, staring the every side of the room when I just noticed something on the table.
Lumapit ako sa side table nang may makita akong litrato sa frame. I smiled when I saw how beautiful his sister is.
"It's looks like she's a female version of you, Adriel." I nodded, satisfied for what I saw so I went the frame back to place where it should be.
Hindi ganoon kalaki ang kwarto at hindi rin ganoon kaliit. Sakto lang para sa isang tao. Now I'm currently finding the clothes that I will wear for the mean time. Medyo nahihiya pa 'ko dahil makikihiram pa 'ko without owner's permission.
But I have his permission though.
"Pero hindi rin naman siya ang owner nito." I talked to myself, trying to find a simple clothes.
"You know what? Talking to yourself makes other think you're crazy." I stopped when I heard his voice near in my back.
"What are you doing here? You're still not in yourself! Baka sukahan mo na naman ako!" I scowled, still not looking at him.
"Bumalik ka na sa sofa! This room is so clean to the point na hindi 'to deserve na masukahan at madumihan!" I hissed.
"Don't worry, Lia. I don't have any plan to put some mess here. Takot ko lang sa kapatid ko," he joked and even chuckeled a bit.
I just shrugged my shoulder before I turned back my attention to the closet so I can continue to find a simple and comfortable clothes. But I stopped again when he place himself beside me para maghanap din.
"I can manage this. You still look like a drunk man. I even smell the liquor on you!" Pagrereklamo ko pa at nagkunwaring nagtakip ng ilong.
He gave us a distance a bit, trying to sniffed himself which made me laughed.
"Hey! Why are you making fun of me?" He hissed.
"I was just kidding kanina. You should seen how you sniffed yourself!" I even pointed at him, trying to tease him a bit.
But I automatically stopped when he quickly pushed me on the other close door of the closet. He placed his both hands on my sides, trying to corner me. I stiffed a bit, not knowing how should I react. Ano na namang trip niya?
"Can...You..." I can't even formed a sentence for damn sake. His smirk even showed as if he likes the way how I reacted at his presence.
"What? I don't understand you," he playfully said while still smirking.
"Puwede bang lumayo ka? Masiyado kang malapit," I said, trying to not sound nervous. I tried to push him lightly so we can have atleast a small distance between us.
He pushed his tongue inside of his side mouth, trying to hide a smile. I was about to celebrate because I thought he will distance himself but I was wrong.
Instead na lumayo siya, he even come closer at me, already lose the distance of our body. I stiffed again, trying to not move now.
"Why are you not laughing now? I thought you like making fun of me?" He asked curiously while still playfully smirking at me.
I looked away. "Distance yourself first!" I can even feel his hot breath in my face dahil sa sobrang lapit namin.
"I will but look at me first." He commanded.
"Ayoko nga!" I yelled, still not looking at him.
But my eyes widened when I felt his thumb in my chin, sinusubukang iharap ako sa kaniya. I controlled myself na huwag siyang tingnan pabalik but he still succeed.
"If I tell you my problem." He sighed. "Would you listen?"
The awkwardness faded when I suddenly felt the desperation in his voice as if he really wants to open up his problem and all he need is a listener who will listen.
"If I tell you everything, hindi mo ba 'ko huhusgahan?" I felt how hopeful his voice was.
I signed before I nodded. "I can be whoever you want me to be."
A smile slowly plasterring on his face, a real smile to be exact. I don't know why but I felt like I did something good as if I'm proud of myself dahil napangiti ko siya.
"I still have a question to ask," he said, still smiling.
I nodded. " Go ask!" Ignoring now the fact na magkalapit pa rin kami sa isa't isa.
"Would you allow me?" He stopped inches away from my lips. "If I want to kiss you?
My eyes widened and automatically pursed my lips, not answering him.
"Your silent. Maybe I'll take that as a yes?" He slightly assumed.
I slowly close my eyes, still pursing my lips when he slowly eaten the small distance of our lips.
But my eyes opened when I heard him laughing so hard. Agad akong nailang dahil sa nangyari. I felt the embarassment sa sarili ko dahil sa pagaakalang hahalikan niya talaga ako.
He already gave a distance between us, still laughing.
"Pumikit ka na agad? You really think that I would really kiss you?" He asked, still laughing as if I did the most stupid thing infront of him.
Well, that was really a stupid act.
I didn't answer, still embarassed for what just happened. After a few minutes, I looked away when he handed me the clothes that I will wear.
"Go change yourself now. I'll rest myself a bit," seryosong aniya bigla, still holding the clothes.
I nodded, still embarassed infront of him. If I'll look myself in the mirror, I probably look dumb dahil sa hiyang nararamdaman. I get the clothes on his hand before I quickly turned my back at him, not saying anything. Itinuon ko na lang ang kahihiyan ko sa paglilinis ko sa sarili ko. Adriel gave me a pair of sleep wear na alam kong komportable ako. I'm also happy dahil stitch pa ang design na ipinahiram niya sa 'kin, my favorite cartoon character. Sinandiya ko talagang magtagal sa banyo para mabawasan kahit papaano ang kahihiyang naramdaman ko kanina.
After an hour, napagdesisyunan ko na lang din lumabas dahil baka lamigin na 'ko sa kakababad. Sinuot ko na lang ng mabilis ang sleep wear. Hindi ko pa napansin na may underwear na palang kasama ang ibinigay niya.
I blow-dried my hair before I decided to went outside of the room. I even doubled checked the room kung may naiwang mga kalat at luckily, wala naman.
Napatigil ako nang mapansin kong balot na balot na sa kumot si Adriel na animong nilalamig na kahit ang totoo, wala namang nakabukas na fan or nakatapat sa kaniya.
Agad akong lumapit sa kaniya at hinawakan ang noo niya para tingnan kung mainit ba siya.
"You jerk! Bakit bigla kang uminit?" I asked histerically.
Hindi naman siya mainit 'di ba? He even teased me for damn sake.
Kinapa ko ang bulsa niya, sinusubukang hanapin ang susi ng kwarto niya. Agad ko rin naman 'tong nakapa at dali dali nang umakyat para kuhanin ang mga puwedeng ipangbalot sa kaniya.
When I opened the door, bumungad sa 'kin ang panlalaking amoy. Hindi ko na pinuna ang buong kwarto niya dahil kailangan ko na siyang balutan para kahit papaano, pagpawisan siya. Kinuha ko ang comforter sa kama niya at naghanap pa.
"Puwede na siguro 'tong mga jacket na 'to." Agad kong kinuha ang mga jacket sa cabinet niya bago nagmamadaling lumabas na ng kuwarto niya.
I wrapped all the things I have to him so he can feel warm even just a bit. I even dialed Sef number so I can update him.
"Your friend is sick! Ang init niya!" Bungad ko, not knowing what to do next.
Hindi ko alam kung paano mag-alaga ng may sakit dahil palaging si Nanay Sarah ang nagaalaga sa 'min.
[Holy shit!] He cursed. [Mukhang naulanan 'yan kanina!]
Bumaling akong muli kay Adriel na nakabalot pa rin sa mga jacket at comforter. Napapailing na lang ako sa mga ginawa nito ngayong umaga pa lang.
"Bakit hindi mo sinabing nagpaulan ka pala? Natuyuan ka pa tuloy!" Panenermon ko sa kaniya kahit alam kong hindi niya 'ko naririnig.
[Can you stay longer?] Napabuntong hininga na lang ako.
"Do I even have a choice? Ako lang ang kasama niya dito. Alangan namang iwan ko siyang ganito, konsensya ko pa." Umirap pa 'ko sa kawalan.
I heard him sighed. [Thank you. I owe you. Sorry na rin sa abala.]
"Wala na 'yon. Ibababa ko na dahil kailangan ko nang asikasuhin 'tong kaibigan mo," pagpapaalam ko at agad nang ibinaba ang tawag.
Kumuha na lang ako ng basin sa kusina at malamig na tubig at towel para mapunasan siya ulit. Nagtingin pa 'ko kung may puwedeng easy to cook dito pero noodles lang ang nakita kong madaling lutuin.
Masuyo ko siyang pinupunasan, sinusubukang hindi mailang sa hubad na pangitaas niya. After ko siyang punasan, ang towel na ginamit ko sa kaniya ay tinupi ko upang ilagay sa noo niya.
Bumalik ako sa kusina dala ang basin. Agad akong bumalik sa living room upang silipin siyang payapa pa ring natutulog.
"Nagalmusal ka man lang ba? Bakit hindi mo sinabing naulanan ka para naman naagapan at hindi ka na nagkasakit pa!" Panenermon ko sa kaniya muli habang patuloy pa rin siyang natutulog.
Pinakatitigan ko siya, iniisip kung gaano ba kalalim ang problema niya to the point na naglasing at nagpaulan pa siya.
Inilibot ko ang paningin ko sa bahay niya. Nabobored ako kung kaya't napagdedisyunan kong linisin ang sala niya. Sinisigurado kong nakikita ng paningin ko si Adriel kung saan ako naglilinis.
Hindi ko alam kung gaaano ako katagal na naglinis dahil natapos din naman ako. Bumalik ako sa kusina to get the cup noodles na nakita ko. Chineck ko kung may mainit na tubig sila pero wala kaya nagdesisyon na lang muna akong magpainit ng tubig. Bumalik muna ako saglit sa sala dahil baka mainip lang ako sa kusina habang hinihintay uminit ang tubig. Umupo ako sa pangisahang sofa at iniurong 'to upang mas matingnan ko siya nang malapitan.
Napababa ang tingin ko sa kamay kong bigla niyang hinawakan. Hindi ko alam kung bakit imbis na bawiin 'to, mas ako pa ang humigpit ng pagkakahawak sa kamay niya.
"L-Lia," he whispered.
Inangat ko ang tingin ko sa kaniya at mas hinigpitan ko pa ang paghawak sa kamay niya.
"How do you feel? Huwag mo 'kong sesermunan kung maraming nakabalot sa 'yo. I just don't know kung anong puwedeng gawin dahil nilalagnat ka! Ginawa ko lang ang mga bagay na natatandaan ko everytime na inaalagaan kami ni 'Nay Sarah," mahabang paliwanag ko pa sa kaniya.
"Ang daldal mo," reklamo nito at sinubukang tanggalin ang mga ipinangbalot ko sa kaniya.
"You're still sick, drunk man! Higa!" Pagpigil ko sa kaniya.
"But it's hot!" Reklamo nito.
Napairap ako. "Ofcourse it is! May lagnat ka nga, e."
Pero dahil si Adriel siya, syempre hindi niya sinunod ang sinabi ko dahil bumangon pa rin siya.
"Kahit kailan ka talaga!" Tila wala nang nagagawang sabi ko.
Nagulat siya nang bahagya kong inilapat ang likod ng palad ko sa noo niya, pinapakiramdaman kung mainit ba siya.
"Mainit ka pa rin!" Inis na sabi ko sa kaniya.
"Obviously, still sick," he sarcastically said and he even shrugged his shoulder.
Natahimik kaming pareho, tila pinapakiramdaman ang isa't isa. Itinuon ko na lang ang atensiyon ko sa phone ko at naglalaro na lang.
"What do you think about the woman who got pregnant by a complete stranger?" He asked out of nowhere.
I stopped playing games before I looked at him curiously.
"Forget that," biglang pagbawi nito dahil sa napansin niyang reaksiyon ko.
Napapabuntong hininga akong tumitig sa kaniya, kinakausap siya gamit lang ang aking mata.
I'm waiting for him to speak, expecting na magkukwento o magsasabi na siya ng problema niya. But a minutes had passed, wala pa rin akong narinig mula sa kaniya dahilan para tumayo na lang ako at nagbabalak na pumunta sa kusina.
"Claireez got pregnant by a complete stranger," he spoke, still bowing his head.
Muli akong bumaling sa kaniya at umupo mismo sa harap niya.
"Who's Claireez?" I asked curiously dahil narinig ko rin ang name na Claireez kanina.
He looked up before he pointed at the side table, katabi lang din ng sofa na hinihigaan niya. Itinuro niya ang babaeng nasa kanan niya habang ang kapatid na babae naman niya ay nasa kaliwang bahagi at pareho niya itong inaakbayan.
"She's pretty," I complimented. "But why did she end up pregnant by a complete stranger?"
He sighed again, getting himself ready to tell the story.
I was listening the whole time, not talking at all. I let him talk until he finished. I don't know how to react because of the story. I didn't even processing everything na mga nalaman ko ngayon.
"I felt the guilt inside me because I didn't protected her. I know na sobrang masakit ng problema niya pero naging pabaya ako sa kaniya. I promised her that I'll be always in her side pero that night na uminom kami, hindi ko siya nabantayan," he said while sounding as if he really blaming himself.
"Stop blaming yourself. Ikaw na rin ang nagsabi, it was unexpected." I tried to reach his hand but the moment when I held him, I let go his hand quickly and good thing, hindi niya napansin 'yon.
Tumingin siya sa 'kin. "But that responsibility is too hard. She's just 18 and I'm blaming myself for not being a good guardian to her."
I tapped his back when I noticed that his tears wants to fall from his eyes pero pinipigilan niya lang.
"You had no choice. All you need to do is to stay by her side. It's not too late to become a good kuya to her, well to become a better kuya rather." I smiled at him sweetly. "You're already good na pala."
But instead na ngitian niya 'ko pabalik, he bowed his head again as if may problema pa rin siyang hindi nasasabi sa 'kin.
"Actually, it's not all about her pregnancy, e." He sounds so frustated.
My brows furrowed. "Why? May iba pa?"
He slowly nodded his head which made me think kung ano 'yun.
"I promise her na hindi ako magtatago ng sekreto sa kaniya." He looked at me with his teary eyes. "But I didn't keep my promise."
I waited him to speak again. Mukhang nag-iisip pa siya if sasabihin niya ba sa 'kin o hindi.
"It's okay if you're not comfortable to speak about that. I understa--------"
"We're not her real relatives," he cut me off.
My brows furrowed, already confused of what just he said.
"And? What about it? It's still okay naman, ah."
"But she doesn't even know that." Wala sa sariling ginulo ang buhok niya. I felt my eyes widened but I didn't speak, trying to process everything I heard. I looked at his eyes, trying to communicate by just using it.
"We kept this secret for a long time. I want to tell about her real identity but I always stopping myself because of the possibilities that it might affect and ruin our relationship." He looked at me straight on my eyes to find a comfort just by staring at it, maybe?
I took a deep breath. I don't know what would I say to him. All I know was he really needs someone who will listen to him... and probably that someone is me.
"But she needs to know the lies that she doesn't even know at all. She's really deserving to know the truth, Adriel and I know... you're aware of that." I tried to speak up about my thoughts regarding to his problem and I was shocked when he slowly nodded his head as if I really got the right idea about his thoughts.
I didn't expected that he surely agreed of what I just said. Akala ko kasi, hindi niya tatanggapin ang opinyon ko.
"But she's been going through a lot lately. I can't find the perfect time because everytime I seek the chances to tell her, everything something happening unexpected. Just like now, she's pregnant and thinking that I will tell it now makes me scared even more because it might also affect the baby."
I smiled of his thoughts thinking about the baby. I really knew she would be a great uncle someday and maybe... a daddy too.
"I understand your point but don't you think if she will know the truth unexpectedly, it has more possibilities to happen the thoughts that you have in your mind? She has the right to know it and after niyang malaman, she'll be the one who deciding. It's her choice kung anong gagawin niya after niyang malaman ang totoo."
I saw how he took his breath out before he shrugged his shoulder as if it's really hard for him to think about his problem
"But if you still not ready, if you and your family still not know what to do." I stood up which made him looked at me with his confusing eyes.
"I won't promise but if that time comes." I smiled at him. "Don't worry dahil kasama mo 'ko."
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