"Now... Namjoon, tell me." He sat infront of him.
"Tell me what you feel."
Silence.
"Namjoon, tell me. From the bottom of your heart, what you really feel. Tell me, you know you can" Then, Jin saw a tear trinkle down Namjoon's cheek. Followed by another, and another, until he was fully sobbing.
Rushing to his side, Jin rubbed his back. Comforting him.
Like the old days.
"Namjoon ah, tell me the truth." Jin humphed and crossed his arms infront of Namjoon who looked down on the ground, fidgeting his fingers feeling afraid to admit.
"Come on Joon. You can tell me" Jin's expression softened and smiled at the little boy infront of him.
It was silent until tears started forming and fell on his cheeks, rolling down until fully sobbing.
Jin rushed to his side, rubbing his back.
"Hey hey hey it's okay. I won't be mad if you did." He assured.
Namjoon wiped his nose and nodded.
"I'm sorry for taking Jisoo's chicken..." He puffed out a sigh. Suddenly, Jin started laughing.
"What's so funny hyung?" He tilted his head all cutely in confusion.
"Aish Joon, I helped to cook the chicken. So it was basically me and my mom who made it. But it was for Jisoo. Come on, don't cry. Let's go eat chicken, ok?" Namjoon nodded, finally smiling while he followed Jin into the house.
It was from they were little kids. Where all their parents were the best of friends, leading an entire empire together while still remaining happy and close.
"Shhh it's ok. Don't cry. Just tell me" Namjoon pursed his lips. It's been so long since Jin seen him like this.
"H-hyung... I-... I'm sorry" Jin looked at him confused. Yes there were times they had their misunderstandings and altercations. Yes sometimes they can be naive and stubborn like a child. But, if Jin can recall, there was nothing for him to be really sorry about. Well, at least to him.
"I'm sorry about how all of this started" Oh, so he's talking about the day it began. Where Namjoon went home after stalking Jennie. They had a huge argument since Jin cares for her and his sister.
"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I-I don't know what I'm feeling. She's just a woman. A woman meant to be a fuck toy. That's what are women for right? They all want the same thing. Pleasure. To get what they want. That's their only goal in life. To get pleasured and be nothing, but a stupid slut who wants nothing but money. That's what Jennie wants! She's just using me! Right hyung?" He looked with teary eyes at him.
"Namjoon! Use your intelligence for once! Aren't you thinking?! You've got it all wrong! What if she was here right now, listening to what you had said. What do you think would she feel? She would be sad. And I know that you care for her. The only reason you're like this is because of that stupid ego of yours! For once, Namjoon, lower your pride and actually take time to notice the real things happening. That would be way out of your control."
He's right.
If only had I lowered my standards and not take my pride over me, then it wouldn't be like this. It's a good thing Jennie wasn't here to hear all of it.
-
Namjoon drove away from them. He needed some time to think about his feelings and get his shit together. He needed to be sure.
He arrived at the one place he always went as a child. He always went there when his parents are away and the guys are busy to play with him. So he went here everytime.
It was a lake full of tranquility. Why? Because it's far from the city, hidden in a secret part of the forest. It always since and glistened its crystal blue colors day and night. His mother showed him this place and went here ever since. He had also been planning to bring Jennie here someday.
He sighed at the thought of her and sat near the lake.
He looked at the shining water and teared up.
"You're still a crybaby?"
Namjoon looked up to the voice and smiled wide.
He hugged the person tight, like they would dissappear into tid bits if he let go.
"Mom... I missed you so much" He hugged her even tighter, like if it was even possible.
His mother chuckled and patted his back, letting him know that he needed to le tgo so she can breathe.
Namjoon, who got the sign, immediately pulled away and chuckled nervously while scratching the back of his neck.
"I'm sorry mom"
"It's okay Joonie, come here" she sat down beside the lake, patting the side.
Namjoon sat down, memories came flashing down his mind.
"Joon, come here" Mrs. Kim said to his son while patting the side.
Namjoon stopped running around and went to his mother.
"You remembered all the memories we had here, right?" She looked at Namjoon in the eye.
Namjoon felt like a kid again, and with tears in his eyes, he nodded.
"Do you... Remember about the conversation we had when you were 21st birthday?" Namjoon widened his eyes and more tears streamed down his face as he remembered that memory. How can he forget, how did he forget it at the most important time...
Back in September 12th, around 6:30 at dusk.
Namjoon went to sit at the rock in front of her mother who was on the picnic blanket drinking tea. They had come here since Namjoon wanted to. It is his favourite place.
"I love this place mom, I couldn't thank you enough for showing me here"
His mother smiled and placed the tea cup down and tidied dress.
"Dear, I have a question for you" Namjoon looked at her, tilting his head.
"What is it?"
She sighed and looked at him in the eyes, her own glistening under the moonlight.
"You're at the right age, and I wanted it know about the idea of a girlfriend?"
A few moments it was silent until Namjoon broke into laughter.
"Hahahaha! Mom! You cannot be seriously serious?!! Hahaha!" He continued to laugh, but when he saw his mother wasn't joking, he immediately quieted down and shrugged.
"I don't know mom, I think I'm not really ready yet. I've never had the idea of... A fuck toy" Her mother looked horrified.
"W-what???" he looked at her.
"You know what I mean. Girls are like that. That's what uncle said."
"Aish, your uncle is just single and a playboy when he was your age. He seems to like to pass it to you" She looked at him in disbelief.
She sighed and stood up.
"One day son, you're gonna realise you're wrong, and your pride will be demolished. A girl will come and change what you believe is right that is obviously wrong. And you'll see what I mean" her eyes glowed into pristine blueish white while saying that.
Namjoon was confused.
"Pride? What pride?"
Her mother shook her head and gave a smile.
"One day you'll know"
"Mom, what actually happened back then?" He tilted his head a bit.
Her mother sighed. Maybe it was time.
"Son, you know about your true identity right?" Namjoon nodded.
"I too as well have one" Namjoon's eyebrows furrowed.
"It's vision"
Namjoon gasped.
"Y-you're---"
"That's a story for another time. Now go, you have something more important or do" She gave a assuring smile, making Namjoon smile with tears and nod.
She dissappeared in a blink of an eye, into droplets and dusts in the water and winds.
Namjoon quickly went home. He knew what he had to do.
"Jennie!"