**Gemma's Outfit**
**(Edited)**
Gemma's POV
Going into work this morning, I'm just tired and exhausted. Christian doesn't speak to me for days at a time and ever since we "got back together" a month ago I've been done with him.
I'm sick of being in a relationship with someone I don't love. I don't love him and he feels like a chore, like something I'm required to do and he's not my child. Speaking of child, I never even met his mom and his dad is a crooked asshole.
So now when I'm sitting in my desk trying my hardest to look over makeup samples for my line launching in the next few months, I'm not shocked when I hear my name being whispered across the office. I'm mortified, I hate attention like that.
I open my glass doors and adjust my jacket as I walk to the front desk. "Mrs. Noel?" I ask the elderly lady who works at the reception desk on this floor.
"Gemma dear what's wrong?" She asks standing up as I look around and see people pretending to work.
"Why is everyone whispering about me?" I ask as she sighs, "Come to your office" she tells me pushing me to my office and closing the door while I click my button shifting the glass to where it's not see through anymore. I usually keep it covered up but it felt odd today so I left it clear.
"Sit down for this one" she whispers as I push the makeup trays off the two chairs for us both to sit down. My whole desk and office is covered in makeup, all of it, because I'm determined to make this line my best one yet.
"There's a rumor going around" she tells me as my throat closes up. I hate this, and I know I'll have to address it.
"What rumor?" I ask as she holds my hand. "Gemma people are saying that you gave your virginity to Christian something, a football player and he was bragging about it. I don't know if that's true but if it is, he deserves to rot in hell for that." She tells me as tears whelp in my eyes. I knew it. I knew I should have never let him touch me. I was practically drunk, and high on our one year anniversary but I regret it so much.
He bragged about it. He bragged because in the CEO of the biggest makeup company in New York. He did it for attention and I hate that he was my first everything minus blow jobs. I could never force myself to do that for him. He didn't even-, he didn't even make me feel good. I was supposed to bleed the first time and I never did. It was just awkward, and then he does this.
I'm mortified that people know about my sex life and I'm even more devastated that I let it happen. "Thank you Mrs. Noel" I nod as I hold my hand over my face to cover my tears. I run to the bathroom in my office and lock myself in there as I sit on the sink crying my eyes out. I can't believe him, I can't even breathe.
I sob as I try holding my composure and I just can't. I cry and cry and cry until there's nothing left of me. Then, I put on my big girl pants after sulking. I grab makeup wipes and clean my face with the smeared mascara. I grab makeup samples and try to fix my face and then I walk out of the bathroom like the bad bitch I am. I have a damn company to run.
I grab my bag as I walk to my door and strut through the office. Next I grab the huge microphone connected to the system all over the building for announcements.
"Everyone this is Gemma. I know you all want to talk about me so here's the truth. I messed up and that's none of anyone's business but mine. I'm human, and I thought you'd all care about this company more my than my personal life. There are people, girls in particular, who would kill to have the spot you're in. I'm not firing anyone but do your damn job and maybe we'd already have our new line out by now." I tell them as their faces pale and they all nod.
"Thank you Mrs. Noel" I whisper as I put the speaker back down. "I'm taking a personal day, please call my assistant and she'll cancel the plans and someone can step in for today. I'm going to see my mom." I tell her as she nods and rubs my hand.
"Okay dear, and murder that asshole" she whispers as I nod and walk away. I'm about to. I'm about to kill him.
~~~~
"Hi mom" I whisper walking into her hospital room as she lays down in the bed watching TV.
"Gemma it's only twelve you always come at five what's wrong?" She asks as I shake my head. The tears start seconds later as she swoops in.
"Gemma come here" she tells me as I walk over to her drop my bag and hug her into my chest as she rubs my back.
"You were right" I whisper into her neck. She was right. She told me he'd hurt me more than one time and he did, he hurt me worse than anything ever before.
"What happened?" She asks pulling away as she wipes my face, "Uhh why is our waterproof makeup so good?!" She exclaims while wiping my face on her shirt and seeing no tear stains.
"He hurt me in the worst way possible and I though he really was sorry. Mom I'm so scared of being alone that I don't know what to do anymore". I tell her as she shakes her head.
"Gemma, you don't deserve to be treated like trash. I didn't raise you to get nothing but trash out of a relationship. He's never going to give you what I know you deserve. I met your father late in life and had you, and even though I'd never go back and change anything, there were signs I should have picked up on earlier. One being when he got mad when I got pregnant with you. Gemma I love you baby, and you don't deserve anyone less than a perfect person for you." She tells me as I cry into my hands.
"Why would he do this to me?" I ask as she rubs my back and holds me.
"He's a boy. When you find a man who stands up for you and loves you Gemma you'll know. I think you feel so dependent because of your biological father leaving us. Is this true?" She asks as I look down.
"Truthfully I don't know. I just feel like a guy will never love me. I wasn't good enough for dad, I wasn't good enough for Christian, will I ever be good enough for a guy to love me?" I ask as she sighs and holds my hand.
"Gemma you are the full package baby. You'll find the perfect guy in time sweetheart. So here's what you're doing tonight. You are getting dressed in the baddest outfit you have. You're going to go find Christian and break up with him once and for all. No excuses, you're done with him." She tells me as I nod.
"I know I am, I'd rather die alone than feel like this" I mumble as she smiles.
"Good, now let's go get you some lunch from downstairs". She tells me as I smile and she wipes my face.
"Give it time Gemma." She whispers as I nod. Time, I have always hated the concept of time. I want my Prince Charming to show up at my doorstep with roses, or buy me a coffee and talk to me, I want him already.
~~~~
I'm so thankful for social media. Right now, I'm even more thankful. I follow the New York Giants on Instagram and it just so happens that they have a new recruit that's anonymous which means one thing. Christian is at a bar or he's at the football field right now.
I scroll through our texts as I laugh. I can't even believe I told him that I loved him. I guess being unaware of it, I never realized is short he is with me, he literally texts me K, who texts K? That's all ending tonight though. I'm done with him, with his sick attitude. With how much of an asshole he is.
I never realized how much he sucked until now, he's a player. He's not someone I want a life with and I'm over boys, I want a man. I walk to my bedroom and to my bathroom as I strip out of my clothes and walk to the shower. I wash for five minutes before my phone starts ringing and I'm left standing in soap with shampoo in my hair. Shit.
I throw on my robe as I walk over to the sink leaving puddles of water as I see his name. I'm about to lay this shit on thick.
"Hi Christian" I whisper as he starts, "Hi baby" that fucktard.
"I miss you" I whisper as I hear him laugh.
"Do you, well I'm out right now with Chandler but I promise I'll call you when I'm done. I might even come over and stay the night, how does that sound?" He asks as I laugh faking my ass off.
"That's fine baby, I'll come and see you then" I tell him as he starts, "It's kind of just a team thing" he mumbles as I laugh at his lie. He's with a girl and I know he is.
"Oh well never mind, Goodnight" and I hang up. I smile and pat myself on the back as he tries to call back and I don't answer him. I step back into the shower finishing bathing before shaving my legs and exfoliating my skin with sugar scrub.
Felling more confident I blow dry and curl my hair, put on a full face of the best looking makeup I have ever done, and then brush my teeth. I want to make sure he remembers how much he's losing. I know I'm worth more than him now.
I walk to my closet and search through the endless clothes before I find my favorite black ripped jeans that make my behind look so good. The pockets on them lift your ass to the most extreme highs ever. I slip them on before finding a white lank tank top, and a black leather jacket. I'm here to kill now, the leather makes me feel like the baddest woman on earth.
I slip on heels and grab one of my black shoulder bags and wallet before taking a look at myself. I'm not the overly confident type and I never have been, but this. I look so good, and I'm so proud of myself.
Taking one final look in the mirror I walk to my apartment door and open it. I go to the elevator and hop on as I search for the closest bar location. I know that's where he is considering that's how we met. I met him when I was with Shelly getting drinks to celebrate her moving in years ago, and then he showed up and fucked up my life.
When the elevator stops I walk out of the building and to the street. I know where he is June Arrow. It's the most expensive bar here, and it's got the best drinks around.
I walk down the street a few blocks as I hold my composure and get a few stares. I'm a woman on a mission and they should be able to tell. Once I'm standing outside of the bar it takes all the courage in me to walk in front of the glass windows and look in. Then I see him talking to Chandler. I knew he was lying with every bone in his body, that ass.
So I grab the door and walk in and when I do all oxygen leaves my lungs. Here he is-, the most beautiful man I've ever seen. I'm so fucked.