Star Wars Texts

overdue book

Anakin: it's been nice knowing you guys

Ahsoka: what happened

Rex: are you dying

Obi wan: he better not be, I didn't spend ten painful years training this doofus for nothing

Anakin: im not dying, but I'm probably gonna get arrested tomorrow

Plo: why? Tell us and maybe we can figure something out

Anakin: I haven't returned a library book and it's like seven years overdue

Ahsoka: is that enough to get you arrested?

Anakin: yup

Ahsoka *sweats nervously*: im gonna be right back *runs away*

Fives: uhhhh

Echo: looks like the commander didn't turn in her book lmao

Obi wan: Anakin, what was that book even for?

Anakin: I borrowed it so I could learn about how to not lose your limbs in a fight

Wolffe: looks like you didn't read it

Anakin: hey!

Obi wan: the one book you borrowed from the library and you didn't even read it. Wow.

Ahsoka *comes back*: whew, just turned in my library book. 6 years late, but at least I won't be getting arrested!

Plo: what was the book you borrowed, Ahsoka?

Ahsoka: the padawan's guide to getting the high ground and looking badass while doing it

Obi wan: yooo that's the book I wrote!

Obi wan: I can't believe someone actually read it

Wolffe: I mean... she borrowed it, but we don't know if she read it

Ahsoka: hey, I read it! It was a pretty good read too

Obi wan: damn, I should've gotten Ahsoka as a padawan

Cody: I mean, she basically is

Anakin: nooooo shes my padawan! And I bet I could write a better book than obi wan's

Plo: perhaps you should give obi wan's book a read, Anakin

Anakin: naaaaah

*Anakin leaves to write his new book*

Rex: what's he even going to write about?

Ahsoka: the art of training younglings

Rex: ...

Ahsoka: kidding! He'd literally rather die than do that

Obi wan: plo, about Anakin's overdue book, is he actually getting arrested?

Plo: no, I told Wolffe to put in a fake notice in Anakin's mailbox that he's gonna get arrested lol

Wolffe: best. mission. ever.

Comet: yeah, until we saw all the weird bug magazines he subscribed to

Sinker: I had to delete those from my eyesight memory

Ahsoka: Anakin has subscriptions to bug magazines and he never told me?? I am hurt

Rex: so that's what he was shoving down the toilet when I was giving him my mission report

Cody: Rex, why the hell were you giving your General a mission report when he was still in refresher??

Rex: because it was urgent