do-over

xxx ; therapy [M]

(Listened to a lOt of Ariana Grande while writing the sex scene lmao)

I woke up crying. I guessed depression wanted today for itself. There was no denying it. The hollow chest, the constant on-the-verge-of-crying feeling. Today was not it.

When tears started slipping out on their own accord I weakly turned away from Adrian and covered my face with my arm. He had just leaned over to turn his alarm off, and I knew he would ask me what was wrong - because I wasn't doing a very good job at hiding the tears - but I didn't have the energy to move or care.

"Ja-" Adrian had physically shifted his attention to me, and froze upon seeing me. "Angel are you okay?" He slipped back down into the bed and quickly hugged me to his chest. When I gave no answer he continued. "Just one of those days?" I didn't want to move. My body was refusing to move. "Can you blink once if it's yes and just keep your eyes closed if it's no?"

Blinking, huh..? He didn't ask me to nod or anything. Blinking I could do...

I blinked once and closed my eyes again, body now claiming I had already expended too much energy on the single blink.

"Do you want me to stay home with you today?"

I slowly turned around, body screaming at the sudden movement and the effort I had put into moving. Once turned around, I buried my face in his chest.

Adrian rubbed my back while I faced the fact I would have to speak.

"I.." tears fell faster and I blinked them out. I really didn't want to talk... "I have to go to work..." I finally whispered out.

Adrian leaned back a little before hugging me back to his chest, "baby... you should take a break if you need to.."

"I've already taken.." my chest heaved with a sudden sob, "too much time o-off..." I was really crying simply because I didn't want to put the energy into talking... "I.. need to go to therapy..."

"What do they usually say when this happens..." he mumbled almost to himself, as if trying to remember. "Hold on, love." Adrian's warmth left me briefly as he reached for a remote. He clicked a button and all of the blinds rolled off the windows, letting in plenty of unwanted light. "Are you gonna be cold if I pick you up?" I nodded weakly and he disappeared for a few long moments before he came back, sat me up, pulled a comfy blanket around my shoulders, put fuzzy socks on my feet, and put a beanie on my head. He proceeded to take me out to the living room and made me stand for a couple seconds.

"Come here," he pulled me down so I was sitting on his lap sideways and I shifted a little to get comfortable before I pushed my face into his neck. "I'm gonna call Yves and tell her I can't come in." He paused for a moment, giving me a window to disagree but I didn't. I wanted Adrian here with me. He started talking in what I thought was German for a minute before he hung up and tossed his phone onto an armchair. "Are you comfy? Do you need anything?"

I blinked against his neck before I mustered up the energy to respond. "I don't.. want to do anything... Just...can we go sit on the balcony?"

"Of course, baby," he picked me up bridal style and carried me out to the balcony where the sun warmed my skin but the cold was almost too intense. "Let me get stuff hold on." He sat me on the sleek black couch beside the heater - which he turned on - and disappeared back inside. He came back with multiple fuzzy blankets and laid them all on me after he sat down beside me. I quickly cuddled into him before moving completely so I was between his legs, and then I laid back down on him. Adrian shifted us both, his head laying on the arm rest now and our legs stretching out across the couch.

"Are you cold, my love?"

I blinked, feeling only uncomfortable emotionally. "I.. feel really weird... I have too many emotions and they're all different.." I felt tears well up in my eyes. "W-W I'm sorry... Will you j-just hold me?" I looked up at him briefly and he quickly held me tighter and pulled me closer to him.