Tmnt X Readers And OCs

12.0 Donnie x Depressed!Reader

Requested by: Leahjwilk 

The ending is a little different that your request. Sorry :)

TW: mentions/attempts at suicide 

It sucked to live sometimes. You wanted nothing more than to be happy and have a smile on your face, but all you could do was pretend to be joyous. The days were dull. Nothing around you ever seemed to have color. Life was pretty black and white. It was like whenever you were depressed, you had on a pair of glasses that darkened the world by ten shades and drowned out any signs of joy.

The only time things felt better was when you were with Donatello. His green skin, brown eyes, and purple mask were the only things that still had any color and warmth to them. Being with him was the only time you felt wanted. The only time you felt happy.

But when the world went on lockdown because of a virus, you fell back into your sunken place. You rarely saw Donnie. It was hard to sneak out to meet up with the turtles when your entire family was stuck in the house with you. But just because they were present doesn't mean they were there with you. You still struggled alone and lived in a dark bubble. No one noticed how bad things were for you.

When you started to get angry and yell at your family members due to heightened irritability, they thought it was just teenage hormones. When you stayed up all night and stared at the ceiling, they thought you were busy with online school work. When you complained of constant headaches, your family gave you Aleve and thought nothing of it.

After three months on lockdown, you just couldn't take it anymore. Your thoughts swirled around the possibility of suicide to relieve yourself from the torture of sadness. Leaving this world sounded better every day. You could finally be at peace.

Donnie noticed that you text and called him less and less since the pandemic started. At first he thought that maybe you were just busy spending time with your family, but then the day you finally called him again, he knew something was off. 

You talked slower and with less energy. Everything about you seemed empty and emotionless. That's when he remembered you suffered from depression. Being removed from society and the things that made you happy likely only made things worse. He knew he needed to see you before things got too bad.

So, every night he tried to come up to your window to speak to you. One night, he was a roof away when he saw your parent/guardian enter to talk to you. He waited fifteen minutes, but when things turned to an argument, he felt like he was invading your privacy and left. That was the night you finally accepted suicide as your way out.

The next night, Donnie reached your window. He sent you a text message, but you didn't even move when your phone buzzed. He figured you were asleep and didn't want to bother you. That was the moment you were settling on the best plan to end your life.

The following night, Donnie text you before coming over to see if you were busy. You told him you were busy writing an important piece of text. He thought you meant homework and decided to let you finish without interruption. You were actually writing your final note to the world.

The next night, Donnie didn't care what you were busy doing. Something didn't feel right. He knew the bad feeling in the pit of his stomach had something to do with you. When he made it to your home, your window was open. He scanned the room for your presence, but couldn't find you. He sent you multiple messages, but your phone buzzed away to no one. That's when he noticed a shadow on your roof. Immediately, he hid just in case it was someone else. However, when he saw it was you, he quickly ran to your side.

Your nervous hands were shaky as you held the full pill bottle. You were going to do it. You were finally going to be happy and to feel something again. Right as you lifted a handful of the medication to your mouth, someone knocked them away.

"Donnie?" You asked in shock. "What are you doing here?"

He frowned and snatched the bottle away from you. "I'm stopping you from making a mistake. Please, don't do this y/n."

You scoffed. "What's the point of living? I'm depressed. I'm useless. No one can help me. No one even cares about me!"

"I care about you!" He admitted. "I've been trying to check up on you constantly. You're not useless, just let me help you please. I'm here for you."

You tried to pick up some of the pills that he scattered. He slapped them out of your hand again. "Why do you care, Donnie? No one else does! I gave up on me. Why won't you?"

"Because you are worth so much more than you think you are. You bring so much light into this world. Without you, the world will stop spinning, the stars won't shine, the sun won't set, and the moon won't rise. I need you here." He confessed.

Tears cascaded down your face as you hug the turtle in front of you. "I just want to feel something again, Donnie. I'm scared to wake up and be depressed and alone everyday."

"You won't be alone. I will always be here for you. I love you." He didn't mean to confess his love to you, but it felt natural. You belonged in his arms. He was meant to protect you.

"I love you too."