𝙃𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙒𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙧 [ＢＫＤＫ]

chapter thirty four

Eijirou sat at the end of their bed in silence, not knowing what to do. Whether he should cry and yell, or hide it, or leave. He craved a normal relationship, he wished his husband wasn't a liar, and that somebody else wasn't more important. 

Maybe he would have felt better if he hadn't even known, if he didn't get curious. If he believed everything, it could've been perfect. 

He took a deep breath, looking back at Katsuki asleep peacefully. He could only wonder how he could be so normal. 

Eijirou held his face in his hands, breathing heavily. He didn't want to yell, or cry, or kick anybody out. He wanted to go make breakfast and he wanted to say good morning to his husband, like absolutely nothing was wrong. 

So that's what he tried to do. 

He got up and showered, and brushed his teeth. Did his hair, thinking of this day as any other day before. He was doing his absolute best to distract himself with plans and tasks. 

He thought about waking his husband for breakfast, he made him a plate. He didn't know if he even wanted to look at Katsuki.

Even with the water running, and the television on, he could see it, hear it. He could see them together, he could hear the door opening late at night. He could hear his husband laughing on the phone, he could hear the voice he uses when he lies.. and he could see his face, Katsuki's expression.. that looked at his husband from across the room; Katsuki looked at Eijirou.. like he himself was the victim.

But worst of all, he could see the texts with Izuku, and Katsuki's messed up hair after work. His red face and him trying to hide a smile. Eijirou always wondered what Izuku had that he didn't. They all grew up together, didn't they? 

Was it because their relationship wasn't dramatic, or because they didn't have as much as a past as Izuku and Katsuki did. Even in high school, he didn't make Katsuki feel as much as Izuku did. 

Even if it was Izuku making Katsuki so horribly sad, even happy. Katsuki would get so angry at him for no reason, and yet he needed to be in the same room with him. Why did one person have such an impact that even a relationship couldn't have.. Eijirou asked.

And he didn't want to take it away from him, he felt like he was the selfish one. He understood how wrong he was for thinking that; Katsuki was the one to ruin their relationship. Yet he couldn't stop.

He could hear his heart pounding. Ringing in his ears couldn't distract him from his own self hatred. His anger, his anxiety, the realization. Nobody knew what came next. What do you do? Eijirou asked himself. 

He felt so out of touch with reality, when Katsuki came out of their room, and whispered a soft "good morning."  

He gritted his teeth, wanting to ask him how he could be so casual. So unbothered. It was disgusting. 

But he just smiled and said, "I made breakfast for you."