𝙃𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙒𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙧 [ＢＫＤＫ]

chapter thirty nine

He wasn't sober, or drunk. He could see straight but his mind wasn't. 

All he needed to think about was not hitting anybody, and Izuku's address. 
It was 6pm, the lights in his apartment were on. Katsuki smiled, he didn't want him to be off somewhere with anybody else.

He shut off his car and stumbled out, slamming the door and heading for the stairs.

His ears were red and his heart beating fast, he needed to see Izuku, he needed to say something. He couldn't let it continue to be awkward, Katsuki did not want Izuku to be angry another second.
Not for his own gain, not because he liked the subtle flirting in the office and the car rides together, but because he cared.

He cared how Izuku felt.

If Eijirou had ever heard of this love, his heart would shatter. The selfless acts could almost be heroic, if it were not breaking a promise to another.
When he'd slip his wedding ring off his finger, as if it were casual, an everyday habit.. Katsuki could only pray that Eijirou would never have to see it.

Maybe the lie was better for the both of them.

Izuku and Eijirou would never have to hurt more than they do from his everyday sins.

He got to his door, taking a deep breath.
"Fuck, what am I doing?" 

He rang the doorbell.

After a few moments, Izuku opened the door. "Katsuki?" 

He looked him up and down, at his red cheeks and ears, the sweat on his forehead.
His expression was clueless, anticipating an explanation.

He loosened his tie, leaning closer to his face. Izuku backed up. "Izuku-" "What are you doing? Is that alcohol?" He covered his mouth and pushed him away by the chest. 

"I'm not drunk! I'm not! I just need to talk to you." His words sounded slurred, but only because of the adrenaline, the need to see him and say something. 
"Jesus, what's happening right now?"

"I'm sorry, just let me talk." Izuku sighed, crossing his arms. "Then talk." He leaned against his doorframe.

Izuku looked tired, of course he would be after work..  and tired of Katsuki as well. 
But even with the tired eyes you could see the green in his glare, and his long black eyelashes.
Getting distracted by counting the freckles on his face, Katsuki's mind vegan to race searching for something to say.

"..." Katsuki's eyes were wide, he looked crazy to Izuku, and Izuku wanted to laugh it off but..
"Are you mad at me?"
He was. 

"Katsuki.. is that all you wanted to ask me?" His voice was soft but still stressed.
 "Are you?"
"..."
"What did I do?"

Izuku didn't want to start a fight, but the desperate expression Katsuki had on. "I wouldn't ever do this for anybody else." "What? Get drunk and start a fight?" Izuku snarled, "We're not fighting.." Katsuki said softly.

"I hide things from people, I know. But not you." Izuku knew how much he liked to hide things, to lie and put himself in a better light. It was a major flaw, but nearly never to him.

Not until he felt like he couldn't trust him for once.
Izuku felt like he was the only exception, and it made him feel so special.