𝙃𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙒𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙧 [ＢＫＤＫ]

chapter thirty five

It was quiet that morning. Katsuki felt strange, though he thought for sure that he was safe.

Every single time he looked up at his husband, or tried to say something.. he just got a glare. Every time Eijirou was distracted he could see how dead he looked. He was starting to feel guilty again, he swore he wouldn't.

He didn't know what to do.

"I should go to work." "Yeah."
"What are.. what are you going to do today?" He was begging him to be normal, begging the silence to not make him so guilty.

"I don't know yet."
Katsuki took a deep breath, his husband slowly sipping at coffee.

"Yep." Katsuki cringed, getting up to get ready.

He felt eyes digging into his back, and he could hear his heart beating. He watched his phone constantly.

He was starting to question himself. He should have a long time ago, but he never thought it would be a big problem. He thought if anything.. it would have been a fling. Most husband's do that, most relationships work it out. Most relationships continue afterwards..

Did any of them even want that?

Katsuki felt so stuck.
He didn't want to lie about it.

It was sick to think the way Katsuki did, he knew that himself. But he couldn't stop himself from craving Izuku, from thinking of replacing Eijirou.

Though Eijirou had always been important.. he found that.. he always imagined the life he had with somebody else.

Maybe they got married too early, too young. Maybe they rushed it, or forced it. Maybe Katsuki could be with somebody else, and Eijirou could be treated right.

Seeing how they hide everything, they were stuck. And they were suffering.
All they could do was act perfect.
In a perfect house with a perfect marriage.. with perfect parents and a perfect job.

Katsuki said goodbye, slipping on his shoes. Eijirou mumbled something back to him.

And they were both starting to acknowledge the burning hatred that was forming.

Katsuki would go to work, and feel better. He'd ignore the guilt. Ignore the hatred forming, and all his flaws.

With silent flirting and inside jokes, plans for after work. Cute smiles and laughs, Katsuki waited for his break just to sit with Izuku.
Just to talk to him.
He wished that he didn't make so many mistakes before.

That earlier on he was never angry, or embarrassed. That he didn't rely on comfort like Eijirou.
Looking at Izuku, he knew that if he had just tried.. he could have had it all so easily.

When he slipped his ring off and on before and after work he knew that he had to take action. That if they both wanted to breathe, if they wanted to feel alright.. they'd fall apart.

Katsuki planned to. He planned to tell him for weeks already, he planned an apology. Choosing every word so carefully so he wouldn't upset him..

He was so far from even a chance at forgiveness.

Every night his hands shook outside of their house, sitting in their car. Katsuki wondered what he'd done to their marriage.