𝙃𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙒𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙧 [ＢＫＤＫ]

chapter twenty four

In the morning, Eijirou sat at the kitchen table. Rethinking what Katsuki told him about Izuku. 

Katsuki always said he hated him for reasons he denied. That he wanted to be friends with him, and spend time with him. He didn't ever know how to tell him, or even himself. He didn't know how to talk to him every morning, even say hi when he really wanted to. 

"I spent so long saying I hated him, thinking of him like he was less than me." He said to him. "I was scared that that's what we were. Just kids who used to be friends when we were children." 

Katsuki thought of himself as Izuku's bad memory. 
In Izuku's head Katsuki was a lesson, and Katsuki put it all together. From the way he looked at him, he was just a scar. He could tell from his eyes, with no respect, yet so much fear. 

"It pissed me off. When I should've been apologizing." 

When he was a teenager he did consider sitting down with him, and confessing everything. The immature reason for hating him chewed through his skin, and not knowing what to do about so many feelings, you try to protect yourself. Even if it's from yourself.

He isolated himself, pretended to hate him. Pretended that Izuku was somebody he could ever dislike. For as long as he was alive, he couldn't. But he tried to think that somebody so sweet and full of good memories was bad.

He couldn't handle the rejection. He only ever wanted to be friends, but he was a scar hardly healed. He was unlovable, unlikable. All he wanted was a fixed friendship. Closure, at least.

Though it was hard to be friends, since he always got nervous and rejected him. He thought he'd fuck up and get angry. 

He was right.

That's as much as he told Eijirou. 

Eijirou took a deep breath. Praying that he was right that they were just friends. That he fucked up once or twice. 

So he got up, to wake his husband. But his phone rang to wake him up instead. He stood at the entrance of the living room. 

"Hello?" He sat up.
Eijirou couldn't hear what he was saying, but he could hear it was Izuku. 

"Good morning, Kacchan?"
"Deku?" He rubbed his eyes, "Sorry about yesterday." "It's.. fine." "Yeah."

It stayed silent for a moment, all Eijirou was thinking about was the nicknames.

He decided it was wrong to listen in, so he started to leave. 

"I want to see you. Now please." Katsuki stood up, "Okay, why? I need to talk to you. About our relationship." "Our relationship?" 

Eijirou stopped.

He left few things out when he told his husband that story. 
The real reason he lashed out and got nervous.

"Please be at my place in an hour."
Because he'd never actually like him. 
"Izuku?" "Katsuki?" Katsuki's hands started to shake, he bit his lip. 

Izuku would never like him the way he liked him, he always thought about that. 
But now that he had him, he was going to try. Starting right then, the decision was made.

He didn't want to say he didn't care about his current relationship..  but, the real reason he used to be so mad at Izuku.. 

"Izuku, just know that, whatever happens.." 

He was in love with him. 

And he was destroying it all.

"That even if I fucked up, and that we're weird.. that we are not a mistake. And I regret absolutely nothing." He tried to whisper. 

He loved him for years, and he loved him up until now. The guilt was killing him but it was the truth. 
He was still so in love. 

"We're gonna fix this." 
"I'll see you soon." 
He hung up. 

Katsuki bit his lip, thinking about his husband. 
"I'm so fucked up for this." He took a deep breath. 

Eijirou still didn't know what to think. 

Even if he heard all of that.