Submissive • 5sos

Chapter 11

*Lukes p.o.v*
The frequent meetings we have been having with the ruler of the gang that lives outside of London is here. We needed to bring Courtney as proof we had her, otherwise they wouldn't agree to help us crash one directions huge drug mission which was set to launch in a couple months.
"Ahh hello!" He says, shaking all our hands, when he gets to Courtney, who's sitting between me and Michel, He raises her hand and kisses it, she blushes,
"I believe I haven't had to pleasure, I am Shaun Jones. And you are?" He keeps his hand on hers for a second to long, and I see Courtney wiggle uncomfortably,
"I'm Courtney, Courtney Luke." She says with a voice of silk. He smiles a very unattractive smile at her, and she smiles without showing any teeth. He sits at the end of the table, between Michael and Calum as they're both next to the ends. Small talk is proceeded until the waiter comes and goes, ordering our food. It amused me slightly seeing Courtney's eyes go huge when she saw the prices of these extravagant meals, but I felt less amused when I realised the chose the cheapest main meal on the whole menu, a Caesar salad.
"I'll pay you back." She whispers to me, I just frown,
"What? For the meal? No it's fine, you don't need to." I whisper back, she looks slightly mortified that we're paying for her meal, and drops her head in embarrassment, I want to ask her what's wrong, but Shaun Jones beats me to it, asking another question.
"So where are you originally from? Your accent sounds slightly different to the boys, or anyone around that London for that matter, Courtney?" He makes her name roll from his tongue, and it slightly disgusts me,
"Cornwall." She answers, politely, Shaun nods his head, this isn't new information to him, he knows her dad, the one we actually need is from there, she's just a coverup to our real plan.
"So why did you move here?" He questions, I pretend to talk to Ashton about some football match, but in truth both of us are listening to their conversation.
"I needed a change of scenery." She straight out lies, I know why she moved, but I don't think Shaun does.
"You look young, do you still live with your parents?" He asks, laughing, Courtney looks her age, 17, he probably thinks she's older.
"No." She skirms with embarrassment, and a look of anger and hurt cross her eyes for a second. At that moment the distant music changes dramatically to a sadder piece, I hear a gasp come from my right, and see Courtney looking at the music corner in fear,
"Excuse me...I need to use the toilet." She says quickly, running as fast as she can in her high heels towards the toilets.
*Courtney's p.o.v*
Any damn song, there's thousands out there, millions. Yet they chose that one. I feel my eyes fill, as I look at myself in the mirror, I'm wearing the dress and that song came on, both of which was important factors to the night I left my parents. I give up fighting the memory, and let my self reminisce in that night.

"You're not wearing that." My dad said, looking at the dress I was wearing. It wasn't that short, mid-thigh?
"Why?" I whimper, he stopped in his tracks and walked towards me, he raises his hand, and I prepared myself for the blow, instead, he tucked one stray hair behind my ear, he put his lips right next to my ear,
"Because daddy said so." He whispered menacingly, and I attempt to step away from him, but I'm frozen to the ground,
"Oh, darling! You look a picture!" Mother drooled when she walked in, pretending to be oblivious to what was just happening, she liked to pretend I didn't get hit and she didn't get hit and our life is perfect. Which it wasn't.
"I'm telling her to change." Dad said angrily, mother blinked in surprise, then instantly back tracked,
"You do look nice honey, just not right for this occasion?" She said, looking at my dad as if waiting to be rewarded, watching how pathetic she looked made me feel sick. And for once I decided to stand up to him,
"I'm wearing it, all the other girls will be dressed up nice and I'll look like shit." I muttered, mother looked at me in fear, but I felt oddly confident.
"I don't know who you think you are, hurting both of us, but I won't stand for it, me fair enough, I can stand up for myself, but mum is where I draw the line. She can't protect herself against you because she loves you! And sometimes you love her too but you treat us like shit! So fuck you!" I spit, he remember the look he gave me during me rant, humoured, like I was some monkey performing in front him, I start to say something more but he silences me with a punch. I gasp, and run up to my room. I lock the door, grab my phone and put the loudest song I have on full, Pathetique by tchaikovsky. A powerful but emotional piece, he wrote it 9 days before he committed suicide. I thought about the immense sadness he would feel while writing that piece, while I packed my small bag with my necessities, I heard heavy knocks at my door, followed by shouting, I'd finished packing, but I'd found it difficult to breathe. That was when I started getting my anxiety. I stayed home that night. Listening to tchaikovsky Pathetique all night, I'd grown to hate it though.
I feel my breathing get harder and harder with every tear that comes, I feel an impending panic attack nearing, and I don't stop trying to fight it and I let the attack start.
My breathing starts getting erratic and I feel myself collapse onto the ground and try to steady my breathing following the steps my doctor told me, count to ten.
"One." I gasp, clawing to the sink to keep myself standing.
"Two." I say, I sound like I'm losing my voice, my throat tightens and I feel like I'm about to die,
"Three." I hear a knock on the toilet door, it sounds like I'm underwater, being dragged deeper and deeper,
"Courtney?" A voice says, I can't pinpoint who it is. I focus on my counting,
"Four." I whimper.
"Can you open the door?" The voice says again,
"I...can't. Five." I splutter. I give up trying to stand, and slink down the wall so I am sitting on the floor, I put my head between my knees,
"Six." The door starts opening, and I see a blurry figure walk towards me, I don't remember when my vision started going.
I need to get to ten...
"Se-" I'm cut of by myself passing out, falling into a never-ending dark abyss.
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Short chapter eurgh I'm sorry