Submissive • 5sos

Chapter 19

Luke beat up some girl? And because he was jealous? Where is that girl now? What did he actually do to her?
I feel these questions whizz around my brain and feel dizzy. I lay back down and feel myself over analyse this situation. I remember when we was in the car, and he told me that all that some people knew was hurt so they couldn't love, was he referring to himself?
"Don't worry, just don't lead him on." Calum says hurriedly, I bite my lip nervously and look towards the heavens, wondering how I got myself into this mess, and how I would get myself out of it. Do you want to get out of it? I think this question over, and then decide I do want to get out of it, I've only delved the surface of this lifestyle but already I don't like it, I decide right then that I would pay that gangster man his money, and get out while I had the chance.
"It's 3 o'clock, you wanna go?" Calum's voice brought me back into the now, and I reluctantly agreed to leave the safe haven of the park.
We walked down the cobblestone streets, passing students who would have just left schools, I noticed some people wearing my schools uniform, and I made sure to keep my head down. We passed one of the boys in my class, he looked at me, and I stupidly made eye contact, where I could see that he recognised me. He gasped, and looked as though he was about to say something, when he noticed Calum walking beside me. This caused his eyes to widen and I felt myself blush with embarrassment. All this happened within 3 seconds.
He'll probably tell everyone in my class that I was seen with Calum Hood, and then teachers will find out, then my social worker, I sigh loudly,
"You're worrying about something." Calum says observantly, I shrug and he gives me a strange look, pity?
Before I can read too deep, we're back outside of the tall building which houses us. We step into the elevator and I think to how worried I was when I first went into this elevator, and how I desperately needed my pills. Oddly enough, I haven't needed my pills these last weeks, even though there's lots to be anxious about, strange.
"You were gone for ages!" Luke says, when me and Calum stepped out of the elevator into the large living room. Him and Michael are playing on the Xbox, but Luke pauses whatever game they're playing as soon as I walk in, I notice Calum raising his eyebrows at this.
"Yeah I just needed to go outside for a bit." I reply, sitting on the sofa which no one sat at.
"A bit! You were gone for so long!" Luke comments, I shrug, and grab a book from the shelf that is situated next to the sofa I am on, I pretend to read it, but I am actually deep in thought as to what I'm going to do about my life. I'm interrupted by a vibration coming from one of my pockets, I reach into my pocket minutely and feel the cheap phone, I try not to look suspicious as I stand and walk off into the bathroom.
"Hello, darling." The chilling voice says.
"Hi." I squeak.
"One of our spy's saw you and Calum Hood, if you have time to go galavanting you obviously have our money?" He says, I mentally hit myself,
"No. I have a plan though." I whisper incase one of the boys hears me.
"You have 3 weeks. Otherwise we kill your mother, then we find you." He says, before cutting of the phone. I sigh then return the phone into my bra, where it should have been, instead of my pocket.
***
The week that followed was relatively normal, I felt awkward around Luke still, considering I knew more about him than he thought, but with Michael I was fine. I think Calum told him about how uncomfortable I felt because the next day he apologised about the way he might have acted under the influence of alcohol. On the case of getting the money from the boys, I hadn't got very far. My plan was to either steal Ashton's card, or wait until he told me to go shopping again, but considering I now had a time limit, I had to go with the first option.
I decided that I would make the boys go out again on the Friday (today was Thursday) and then, when they returned, they would be drunk and careless, meaning I could escape right under their noses. I smiled whenever I thought of how easily I would escape from them.
"Hey." Michael says, sitting down next to me, I smile in greeting,
"What was you smiling at before I came over here?" He questioned, I thought quickly of something to say,
"I was just remembering when I was younger." I say, trying to smile a genuine smile, he frowns,
"What do you mean when you were younger?" He says, I think about how they all now about my...not very good upbringing,
"Before my parents started hating me, I guess. When I was like 2." I clarify, he just nods,
"When did it all start?" He suddenly says, I shuffle awkwardly but decide to say,
"He hit me for the first time when I was 7. He raped me when I was 8." I mutter, I try not to get emotional, but I feel my eyes starting to tear up,
"I don't think your parents hated you." He sighed,
"Yeah they did, I can tell." I say, he gives me a strange look,
"No, they didn't hate you, they just got blinded by other opportunities. For your dad it was his gang." I feel my tears dry at the thought of my dad being in the worst gang in the whole of London, maybe that's why he made us move to Cornwall? Away from the violence? Does that mean he cares?
"How do you know?" I say after a while, I notice a certain emotion - hurt or anger, cross Michaels eyes before he answers,
"Mine were like it too."