Wanted to be LOVED

Studying

*Sarah's POV*

Monday was again here, and next week, the midterm exams were starting. Everyone was excited for the midterm holidays, although they were only for 3 weeks. We definitely needed a break before the finals. Right now, I was in the library again as this week was given to us to maximize our revision, so I was going to spend most of my time in here. I had enjoyed myself at the party; now was time to concentrate myself so I could at least pass. At the celebration at Ryan's place, I started to feel comfortable with him and was actually liking his company. The way he chose to express his forgiveness and explained everything about him really touched a part of me. I found myself forgiving him, and I even agreed to be his friend. But after Ruby's stunt to ruin our moment, I tried to stay away from him. I knew I couldn't ignore him always, but I should maintain a distance because I understood how bad it was when another girl talked to your boyfriend. I was jerked back from my thoughts when someone touched my arm. I looked to the side, and it was the one and only person I was just thinking about, and now he was right in front of me. Today I was sitting on the carpet on the floor in between two rows of shelves, unlike being seated at my usual table. And Ryan has succeeded in finding me here as well; he was actually sitting like me on the floor.

"Why do you seem so lost? What are you thinking about?" He asked, concerned as he might have called my name a few times, and I didn't respond.

"Just thinking." I replied in a slow voice and got back into my book, which was wide open on my thighs.

He noticed that I wasn't in the mood to talk to him, and after the change in my behavior, he sighed and grabbed my hands. When I didn't give any reaction again, he lifted my chin, forcing me to look at him. I had no choice but to look at him.

"Talk to me, question me, or even shout at me, but just talk to me." He said in a hoarse voice, his eyes searching mine.

"What do you want me to shout at you for?" I asked him with narrowed eyes. I knew what he wanted me to say, but that was not my business.

"Sarah, listen to me carefully!" He came forward, closer to me.

"Ruby. IS. NOT. MY. GIRLFRIEND." He said each word at a time, as if meaning them.

"I don't have any girlfriends, and I'm not dating anyone. I seriously don't know why she did what she did, but you should believe me. I don't have any girls in my life." He said clearly, with a worried look in his eyes, that maybe he was wondering if I would believe him or not. I did not know why, but I was finding myself trusting his every word when I should really not do that. I was not understanding why, though.

"You don't have to explain anything to me, Ryan; I'm just your friend. It does not matter if you date anyone or not." I found myself saying back, and I gave him a small smile. He looked at me with uncertainty in his eyes, and I did not know what he was thinking about, or maybe I shouldn't have said what I just did.

"It was indeed important to clarify this matter to you. For me, it was needed." I was surprised by his answer, and I still didn't know why he said that.

I only mumbled a small okay and lowered my head at the book.  He smiled at me and opened his book as well. He helped me with some problems in understanding some chapters. We were there for almost a half day, and I didn't realize that we were together for so many hours.  He was really smart, than he showed everyone. He was like he hid his true self from everyone, pretended to be cool, and did not care about studies when, in reality, he really studied and knew every chapter really well. I wondered why he did that. Maybe because of his reputation at the college or something. He was also really funny to hang out with; he basically made anything in a chapter to make it funny so that it stuck in the mind and was easy to remember. He was such a genius to find ways to remember chapters like that. I chuckled at him, and we studied together while having some fun as well.

After that, we parted ways, as he had to go home early and I also wanted to go home now because I was mentally tired of all these revisions. But honestly, I wasn't that much because I had fun, but I should still keep a distance from him. It was not healthy to be attached to someone for such a short period of time.

By saying that, I tried convincing myself to keep my distance from him this whole week, but I didn't know why it was becoming harder every time he came to me with a big smile on his face. Believe me, I tried doing it, but I couldn't.

A/N:

Hello lovelies,

I hope you all are doing fine! Something is cooking up in Sarah's heart, don't you think? hehe do let me know what you think! keep reading and vote and comment. Love you all!