Gunpowder and Lead

XXX

[Rock Never Dies]

INT. ADAM'S BASEMENT - ONE WEEK AGO

Adam and Gordy were attempting to summon Lucifer.

"Dark Lord," Adam said.

"Apollyon," Gordy stated.

"Beelzebub. As your humble servants, we beseech thee. We say your names as summonings. Show thyself! Serpent."

"Devil."

"Lucifer! Show thyself! Rain your splendor upon me. Let me bathe in your unholy wrath." Gordy stifled a laugh. "Drench me, Lucifer." Gordy was trying to hide that he was laughing at Adam. "Cut it out, Gordy." Gordy bluntly laughed at Adam about what he was summoning. "Dude, it's not funny."

Gordy turned the song off. "Dude, you asked Lucifer to drench you."

"I didn't write it, okay? It's a Satanist Society of America-approved summoning. I found it online."

"Yeah, like you found that "artifact." Face it, Adam, your "Satan feather" is faker than my stepmom's Chinatown Fendi."

"It's real."

"It's a rock."

"Well, it's fossilized. A feather from Lucifer's wing. The seller excavated it from one of his crypts."

"Lucifer has "crypts." Lucifer has "wings." You're so frickin' dumb."

"Actually... I've been looking for that," Vince said.

"No way! No freakin'–"

Vince snapped Gordy's neck.

"Aah!" Adam cried.

"Hiya," Vince greeted.

"You're... I-it worked! My summoning actually–"

"The only thing that "summoned" me was this." He got the fossilized feather from Adam. "This vessel was already wearing out, and my trip under the sea did not help. With a little power up..." He put the fossilized feather to his chest. A whoosh sounded and suddenly, Vince glowed and healed himself.

Adam used his cape cover his face because of sudden glow of light.

Vince continued. "Hey. Won't last long, but it'll do. So, uh, you and your... pal, are you typical of my following on Earth these days? 'Cause... oof."

"No, no, no, no, no, no. You can't be Lucifer. You're Vince Vincente. My mom loves you. You're... kinda famous."

Vince snapped Adam's neck. "Huh. Kinda famous."

INT. BUNKER

Dean was playing Words with Mary. "Twerking." Booyah." A beep sounded.

Mary sent a message. "That CAN'T be a word."

Dean, while smiling, sent a message. "Check the dictionary. Devil Emoji".

Nadia ran in, holding up a pretend pie. "Dada, pay wif me."

Dean set his phone down and set her on his lap. "Do you have a fork?"