Draupadi's Mahabharat

Part 64

"It is not your fault Sakhi! It isn't your fault".

"If its not my fault then why am I being punished for everything?" I asked sobbing.

"Who told you that you are getting punished?" Govind asked. I gave him a confused look which he understood.

"See Sakhi, you never did anything wrong, you need to understand that first and then all this that happened to you was just a step towards something bigger, something which you will only understand with time" Govind said looking into my eyes.

"But how could Aarya do that? How could he stake me? Had he not lost himself first? Then with what right did he do that? And why didn't the elders stop this adharm? Why Govind? Why?" I shouted with tears in my eyes. 

"Sakhi" He took a deep breath "I know all of them were wrong, they thought they were bound but truely they were not. They could have stopped this, but they choose the other path, the path which will lead to their destruction, the path they will regret later on, the path of adharm. But first I want you to clean your mind and think calmly. You need to forgive them for now, you need to focus on what's ahead, you need to forget your past and look to the future. You will get your revenge but I am sure when you get what, you will also loose something. Something which is important for you."

"I am not afraid of loosing anything I just want each of them killed by my husbands."

"Calm down Sakhi, calm down."

"How can I, Govind? How can I calm down? How can I forgive them after what they have done? How can I......"

"You need to do that Sakhi, and that will be the first step to their destruction" he said interupting me. I didn't understand how it was going to be the first step to their destruction because both were the opposites. Forgiveness and destruction, however I would understand them much later, when the war ended. I wanted to ask him what did he mean by this but I held back my question as he had already got up and gestured for me to do the same.

"Let's go to your husbands"he said. I nodded and followed him. When we reached where all of them were, they were sitting and sensing my presense could not lift up their heads especially Yudhisthir. Maybe he finally got to know that he did something wrong which he should regret. 

"Aarya....." I said softly, still none of them looked up, I thought that there was something more than what I knew, however I told them what I had decided. ".....I am not going to comb my hair until I....wash them with Kaurava blood". My husbands immediately looked up at me, they did so because they might never have seen women take such oaths, this was obviously a shock for them. But one thing was very clear that I would not be at peace until I got what I wanted, and they would be the weapons which I would be using.

This incident had changed me a lot, without me realizing many of the changes. It had made me self dependent even more than I was before, no matter how much anyone tried no one could earn my trust me, suprisingly I even could not bring myself to trust my husbands, and why should it be surprising for me? Weren't they the ones because of whom I had entere this condition. 

"But Panchali..." Bheem tried to question.

"No Aarya, just like you have taken your pledges, I too have taken this oath, it will help me to keep reminding all of you our main purpose of living now, it will ......".

"We will surely take revenge Panchali, you don't have to worry, we will avenge your insult and I will not rest until I have killed each and every Kaurav by my hands" said Bheem stopping me in mid-sentence. Govind  sighed at this, I don't know why, but right now that seemed unimportant. Now I thought only revenge and nothing else could do any good to me, I was happy with the idea of every single Kaurava being killed, and me being the reason for their destruction. I suddenly seemed more powerful than ever. 

"Panchali we...we have something to tell you...something important" said Yudhisthir.

"What is it, Aarya?" I asked. But Yudhisthir again could not gather the courage to speak to me. Then understaning his brother Arjun spoke up.

"After you left the court, Bhrata Duryodhan asked Bhrata Yudhisthir for another game of dice but this time it would only have one thing at stake and that was, whosoever lost will have to live for twelve years in the forest and the thirteenth year in incognito, and if the one was found out in the 13th year, the whole punishment would be repeated". I immediately turned to Yudhisthir at this, I thought that this time he wouldd not have accepted the challenge.

"Did you accept the challenge Aarya?" I asked him. He didn't answer. I understood, that he had accepted it. "Who won?" I asked Arjun.

"Duryodhyan" he mumbled. 

"What? So now we will have to live in the forest, that too for 12 years? How could you accept the challenge again, even after knowing that you would not  win?" I asked Yudhisthir, my voice clearly unhappy.

"Priye...I'm.....I'm sorry".