I n n o c e n t

「 LITTLE MERMAID SPECIAL 」

(me in the shower)
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hi @Vmnieee

an au where the boys are still in high school

god bless america

now lets begin

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♡ Narrator's POV ♡

"alright, thank you jimin for your speech. you may be seated." the teacher spoke, smiling towards jimin who was now walking through the aisles of desk before taking a seat.

"next on the list is," the teacher dragged his finger down on his notebook before stopping. "hoseok." he looked up to see the said male nearly jump out of his seat and practically run up to the front of the class.

surprisingly, he had no cards or papers where his speech should have been written on, but hoseok claimed he remembered his speech by heart, so the teacher let it slide and took it as a good sign that hoseok was working hard.

yoongi, seated at the first row of desks, looked low-key traumatised as hoseok cleared his throat, and began to speak.

"alright so my speech is about the little mermaid."

the teacher blinked. "hold on wha-"

"and before I begin, who has NOT watched the little mermaid?" hoseok asked, looking around for any hands to shoot up. luckily none did or hoseok would be pissed.

"good. so you already know about ariel, the red haired girl, her father who's an aromatic, and the prince." hoseok smiled. "so I'll be talking about how Disney supports wrong things in this movie and the lesson behind it!"

the class, confused but intrigued, stayed silent to listen to hoseok's speech.

"so it starts off with ariel missing out on a performance, yada yada yada, the crab guy is pissed, more pointless dialogue, THEN she goes to the surface, aka the hell hole where we live!"

the class chuckled lightly before hoseok continued.

"she meets this prince guy on a ship, and guess what? she falls in love at first sight. that's fucking bull if you ask me. the guy didn't even look good, and he has a nasty ass dog licking his face. i'd be surprised if he didn't have lice or rabies." hoseok shook his head, crossing his arms as he kissed his teeth.

"anyways! the ship ends up blowing up, she saves the prince guy, she basically stalks his face for a good five minutes, and she siNGS. HOW CAN SHE SING WELL IF SHE MISSED REHEARSALS?!?"

"the prince wakes up, she flops back into the water, she stalks him a bit more before he goes back to his bloody castle thinking about a girl with a boOtiFooL voice." hoseok mocked the prince before clearing his throat.

"then ariel just HAPPENS to fantasize about the prince and getting married. BITCH YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HIM FOR 10 HOURS AND YOU WANNA HAVE KIDS? this is how divorces start, dumbasses!"

"then the father finds out, he goes like, "ariel the fuck have you done I told you not to go with those pathetic fucks on land." WELL eXcUsE mE your mAjEsTy WE EAT FUCKERS LIKE YOU FOR BREAKFAST SO BACK OFF OR I'LL SHOW YOU YOUR DEAR COUSIN IN A TUNA CAN."

"can I use the bathroo-"

"I'm not done speaking." hoseok glared at the girl who asked the question.

"then these slithering walruses come and tell her to basically use witch craft to turn her fins into LEGS. are you HIGH? BE GRATEFUL YOU AREN'T ABLE TO HAVE PERIODS WOMAN."

"she ends up meeting this fat octopus bitch who I forgot the name of. I think it was ursula. but anyways, she takes her voice and puts it in a shell, ariel gets legs AND ALMOST DROWNS MAY I REMIND YOU, before she goes to the surface."

"she has three days to make the guy like her, fall in love with her, then kiss her. and how the fuck is she able to do that? it takes me 3 years to just say hi to my crush. this is fucking nuts."

"then after she just HAPPENS to see the prince and just HAPPENS to be able to sleep in a palace. HOW ARE YOU SO DUMB? the man could've been a pedophile for all I know, and just because you liked the guy in under 24 hours is NO EXCUSE. didn't your parents teach you stranger danger??? I mean, sure, your mom's dead but your father should've taught you something."

"hoseok I really need to go to the bathroo-"

"lemme finish!" hoseok whined.

"so then after the second day, she gets sabotaged by the fat octopus bitch after nearly kissing the prince, I don't remember the first day so meh. on the third day, octopus bitch turns into rebecca2000 and gets ariel's voice to put the prince under a sPeLL. this proves disney supports witchcraft."

"seagull guy tells ariel, she tries to swim to the ship where the wedding is suppose to be held while some random animals sabotage the wedding. I still wonder why they don't call animal control."

"then more pointless dialogue, THEN ariel and prince boy nearly kiss, and may I remind you they lean in VeRy sLoWLY but then the third day ends and BAM! ariel can no longer have periods and gets her fins back."

"octopus bitch YEETS HER back into the ocean, her father comes to the rescue, but he turns into a disheveled fry after signing a contract. ariel gets to be the next karen and goes like, "YOU HURT MY FATHER IM GONNA GO JOJO CIWA ON YOU" and jumps on the ocutpus."

"and she's like, what, 90 pounds? octopus bitch could weigh more than a bus. again, octopus bitch YEETS ariel to the side, prince boy comes to her rescue but then he gets YEETED DOWN and nearly drowns."

"more pointless dialogue, octopus starts to fart ink while gaining more pounds and then ends up bigger than the eiffel tower. and she did this just to control the OCEAN. bitch do YOU not have a life? why don't you support Fish Lives Matter or something..."

"she ends up getting stabbed with the same ship that killed ariel's mother, she dies which proves disney supports killing demi god octopussies- I mean octopus's.... her father goes like, "I know I was a real dick so to make things better I'm gonna let you be able to have periods and marry this random guy because I love you" which is fucking messed up but okay."

"FINALLY, they get married, AND MAY I REMIND YOU THAT ARIEL IS 16 AND THE PRINCE'S AGE IS UNKNOWN? SHE'S A MINOR MARRYING A GROWN ASS MAN IN LESS THAN A WEEK AND DISNEY SUPPORTS THAT. that's fucking siCK!"

"but anna is no better because she fell in love and asked to marry a guy that wanted to kill her in less than a day, but that's a story for another time..."

"in conclusion of my speech, disney supports pedophiles, attempted murder, murder, pedophiles again, abuse, minors getting married, minors falling in love with grown ups, and marrying someone in less than 4 days. thank you." hoseok bowed before leaving the class.

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👏👏👏

- edutaetion -