Silence Love

Chapter 26 : [Taehyung's Eyes]

How would you feel if you saw the person you love cry over another figure in her heart?

Does it hurt?

That's how I feel now. Seeing Aera crying on the balcony of her room while hugging the book that Jungkook gave, it really broke my heart. I really wanted to learn that bastard for making my Aera cry like this!

I leaned my body against the wall of her room which is in direct contrast to Aera's current position. Maybe you are wondering why I can enter her room. The girl gave me the password for her apartment so I can easily enter. I wanted to visit her today to take her to a movie together, but what happened was like this.

My efforts failed. Three weeks I admit is not a long time. Even still as old as a corn kernels. I have to try harder to make Aera forget about Jeon Jungkook. But time felt sorry for both of us. Pity for me who also feel sick seeing Aera like this, and sorry for my girl who always cries when remembering Jungkook.

I didn't understand how long they met until Aera loved him this much.

I can't take it anymore, really! This hurts too much for me. Slowly I walked out of the room and immediately knelt near Aera. The girl widened in shock and was about to wipe away her tears, but I was quicker to hold the girl's hand so as not to wipe her face.

"Just leave it, don't erase it," I said with a smile. She was still silent and trying to catch her breath because she was sad and shocked.

"I want to feel how you feel. Let the tears flow if you want, Aera," I said again.

"I'm sorry," replied Aera in a low voice. I smiled then took her into my arms.

Wish I could hug her like this often and make her mine ...

"You really love Jungkook, don't you?"

Aera's body slowly stiffened, I felt like that and she let go of her hug and then looked at me.

"I'm trying to forget it, Tae. I'm sorry," said Aera with an unpleasant face. I smiled wryly. It's ironic that she loves me because of a bad feeling for me.

"You're not wrong, Aera, what's wrong here is me," I said.

"Tae, don't talk lik-"

"If I had approached you more incessantly the first time we met, if you spent your vacation only with me, if you were on vacation to Edensor with me. If I was the one who made you fall in love, things wouldn't be like this."

Without realizing it, my chest began to feel tight and my eyes began to water.

"I won't hurt you like Jungkook now,"

Aera was silent and looked down very deeply, "Sorry. Sorry to make you like this."

I smiled in my wound and grabbed Aera's face. I want to see her beaded eyes one more time before I walk away from her life.

"Our relationship is better up to here, Aera," I said. I saw Aera surprised but did not try to reject this separation. Ah, it hurts.

"I can't make you forget Jungkook. I failed, and I'm also giving up now."

I took a deep breath and exhaled roughly, trying to calm my emotions.

"I'm sorry, Taehyung, I'm really sorry," said Aera again.

"I already forgive," I said, "Aera, can I make a request before this really ends?"

She nodded her head and looked at me. I'm also not sure she wants to grant it, but this is my last wish.

"May I kiss you?"

Aera was silent for a long time, didn't nod and didn't refuse. Slowly I grabbed her nape slowly and brought my face closer. She didn't refuse when I got closer and finally I felt a soft object on my lips. Just an ordinary kiss, no massage and no desire whatsoever I do now. After ten seconds, I let go of the kiss, let go of her, and let go of my heart.

"Thank you for making me feel the beauty of falling in love with you, Aera," I said, rubbing her chubby cheeks which I would miss a lot, "I'm leaving."

"Thank you also you want to accompany me up here, ... and sorry to disappoint you," replied Aera. I smiled and nodded. Slowly I walked toward the exit of her apartment and I slowly stepped my feet away from there.

Walking back to my apartment which was quite far away might ease the feeling of this very turbulent wound. Maybe this is called pain but not bleeding. It's snowing tonight and it's so cold, just like my heart. I try to relieve the tight feeling in my chest by taking a deep breath. But unfortunately I failed.

A tear trickled down my cheek and now it felt so heavy. It is true that I shouldn't have kissed the girl before leaving. But I really want to do it. I never hugged her moveover kissed her. Let me be a little selfish at the end.

Is it okay if men cry?

It hurts so much.

Ah, why do I suddenly think, is this how Aera feels?

How long have I known that girl that it hurts to love her like this?

The answer, how long can you name it. It doesn't matter how long it takes you to meet new people and you end up liking them. It's all about timing. Time can make your relationship with that person more beautiful because every millisecond is precious and makes you happy. But time can make you hurt and it feels like you want to end that time when you are with her. And I, in second place.

Me and Aera met at the wrong time. Time where she had met other people. Aera and I didn't spend longer together because it turned out that time was more supportive of Aera and Jungkook's relationship.

I smiled faintly in my tears. I think I did the right thing.

Giving up my 'time' with the girl I love so that she is happy, letting go of the togetherness that has existed so that she is not burdened.

I have to disappear, until I don't know how long I have to do it. Maybe time knowing it better, when will I return to her with the wound healed.

***

|To be continued|