Special (Ziall Mpreg)

Chapter 10

"What?!", I breathed out, unable to believe his words and shook my head. "No, no, no, that's not true, I'm not, you're my brother and mom and dad were my parents and this is not true!"

"Niall, of course I am your brother and mom and dad were just as much your parents as you thought they were, but... it's true... they stay the same people, I stay the same"

"But...", i struggled to find the right words for what he had told me, which I still had troubles at believing in. "Why did nobody ever tell me?"

He gulped visibly. "Honestly, i don't know. Mom and dad told me that I wasn't allowed to tell you ever, they said it was better for you if you wouldn't know... mom said it was for your own safety"

"But why?", I asked, my voice sounding very desperate by now and I felt close to tears. "Why would it be safe for me to not know that i was adopted? That doesn't even make any sense!"

"They never told me... maybe they would have, one day, but... yeah you know what happened" I just shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut as the tears finally came and turned away from him a little, one of my hands rubbing at my eyes with my sleeve, the other rested on my belly in an attempt to soothe myself somehow.

"Ni, it – it doesn't change anything, you hear me?", Greg said and turned me around to face him, his eyes looking at me softly. "It doesn't change who we are, what kind of family we are. You're still my baby brother who I love endlessly and you're still moms and dads son" I wiped a few of my tears away and sniffled.

"It feels like I don't even know who I am", i whispered at him and he nodded.

"I understand that, but... it doesn't change who you are. I remember when you came to us, you were only four months old and at first, i was scared that mom and dad would forget about me, if they had a baby now, but when you looked at me with your big blue eyes, I knew I would be the best big brother the world has ever seen" I looked up at him, my eyes watery and my bottom lip wobbling before I just bursted into sobs and buried my head in my brothers chest. He rubbed my back soothingly and held me close to him, while I cried my eyes out.

"Do you know who my birth parents were?", I finally asked, my sobs turned into little hiccups that I desperately tried to suppress.

"No, they never told me, Ni, mom and dad were your real parents, you've been with us your whole life" I wiped my eyes again and nodded.

"I love you", I said quietly and he pulled me in closer again.

"Love you more" 

When we pulled away from each other, I saw Greg wiping at his eyes too.

"Hey, maybe when I'm done here, we could look through the stuff in the attic together", he said, gesturing to the stables behind me and I knew that he was still working. "When mom and dad passed away, we put all the documents and stuff up there in their old desk, there have to be files about the adoption and medical records somewhere... only if you want though" I gulped but then nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I- I think I want to... I want to at least know if they knew about my... uh... female side"

Later that day, Greg and I found ourselves climbing up the ladder to the attic, each of us equipped with a big bag for trash and boxes for the things that we wanted to keep.

"Wow", I said, feeling slightly out of breath, when I looked around. Our family had been piling up their old things up here for centuries, starting with my great grandparents and I don't think anybody ever bothered cleaning some things out as there was still enough space. From my old toys that were in the very front, slightly dusty all the way to very old looking furniture that had a thick layer of dust over them you could find anything.