Hidden Chapter: Lisa (1)

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I will win this, I promise

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I will win this, I promise. And the only prize that I wanted is you. I will make you mine. Like how I won you the first time.

His voice echoed in my head again. I have never seen his eyes that desperate in my whole life. He always wanted me. And I do too. So much. He’s the only one that makes sense in this chaotic world I am in. Minnie was right, I was only supposed to Play Princess and make him race again. That’s the only way for me to be free from this world I lived in.

I never wanted things to be like this. But due to my desperation to be somebody because I never had an identity in this place, I consumed myself with Hennessey’s identity. I don’t regret anything though. Because the best part of being her is falling in love with Dodge Viper. If there is someone who should be blamed about the things happened, that would be me. I was so clouded with the belief that he only wanted me because I am so obsessed with his approval. All I thought was he will only want me if I won all his races to build the empire that he wanted for Horizon.

I am just a kid back then. I was naïve and is searching for attention in our home because as far as I can remember, Reese is the only one that matters and that I will always be her donor bank to extend her life. I was hungry for my mother’s attention. I needed her too. Yes, I am healthy but that doesn’t mean I can live without a Mom, right? Viper gave me that attention I am starving for. He looked at me like I am the best mechanic in the world and even though rumors are spread all over Seoul that a minor can never race, he wanted me. I got too obsessed with that wanting and I could literally can do anything to win him races. I was a Shadow for a long time too and that never differs of how I was for Reese. Viper took me out in the dark and looked at me with all these adorations I started to live for.

I never imagined I’ll fall in love with him more than I did when I knew him more. His reflection as Jungkook was a new sight for me. It just happened that he looked exactly like Viper who I despised for a very long time. That the same face but totally different in a lot of ways. I honestly felt terrified when the crash happened. I didn’t know death could be that scary and the only person I thought at that moment is Jungkook. Just him. I was desperate of the freedom I was racing for. But then, I lost. And the fear of being trapped in this world creeped in my head. I wanted to leave this world but it turned out it wasn’t as easy as I thought.

But Jungkook won. Even though winning me doesn’t count, I won’t mind staying with him for a little more time. I don’t want to waste any chances to be happy with him. I just needed him right now. I want him to know how much he means to me and how much I love him.

“Good morning, Pauper.” I suddenly heard Reese’s voice and the door opened. I am busy with the playlist she gave me yesterday to keep me occupied. There are also some audio books she gave me for me to entertain myself just in case I get bored. I smiled, listening to her footsteps against the tiled floor of my bedroom. “You woke up early.”

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