The First Time (vinnie hacker)

3

Angel Montoya
May 15

It's been days since me and Gael got back together. I never once stopped thinking about what my friends told me though. Even when we would hang out (Gael and i) i would keep what they told me in mind. He wasn't really on his phone when we would be together and i honestly appreciated that but when he would be texting i didn't see who it was.

I've been thinking so much that i made up my mind on what i want to do. I'm an over thinker and it messes with my mental health so much. i haven't gone a night without crying, i'm not saying it's always Gael but it's about him most of the time.

i don't even wear the necklace he gave me anymore. he noticed he asked me about it and i told him that it got scratched and i didn't want to mess it up.

i've been laying in bed most of the morning. i got up to shower, brush my teeth and get ready for the day. my phone was sitting on my nightstand beside me so i finally picked it up and opened my messages with him.

gael-
hey can we talk?

yes i'm busy now but i'll
pick you up in a little

okay

-

our conversations are so dry, he doesnt show emotion and neither have i lately. not like he cares though. the less i text the better for him so he can do whatever he wants.

he got to my house half an hour later. we are now both in the car on our way to a parking lot to talk away from people.

"what did you want to talk about? are you pregnant?" he smirked at me. i shook my head. "then what is it?"

"i think it's better if we aren't together anymore." he furrowed his eyebrows and i could tell he wasn't expecting this.

"why not? i thought we were past everything. who the fuck changed your mind on us" you "no one changed my mind i still love you it's just clear that none of us are happy in this relationship and it'll be better like this." i sighed "we could always be friends Gael we just wont be boyfriend and girlfriend anymor-"

"was it fucking Mattia. or Avani or Amelie? like who the fuck changed your mind Angel? we were doing so good recently." i shut my eyes out of stress and threw my head back on the head rest then looked back at him

"no one had anything to do with this. i made up my own mind. don't bring them up they aren't involved at all."

"why didn't you ever defend me like how you defend them?" i'm literally on the verge of tears. i'm sensitive i just don't really show it but it comes out so easily with him. that's not even a good thing. "there was never anything to defend you from. what they've said about you is all true. you do something to hurt me and like the dumbass i am i forgive you so easily. you apologize and i believe you every single time." a tear rolled down and i wiped it quickly.

he wasn't crying. he was no where near crying. he's pissed, pissed that's it's me ending things for good. "so what is it that you are trying to say with all of this" it's so obvious bro.

"i don't want to be with you Gael. i have no trust towards you and you don't even love me." this time it wasn't just one tear it was a bunch. "i've told you so many times that i do love you Angel." and everytime i get proved wrong.

"please just stop lying. you never loved me." he turned to look out his window then turned back to me a couple seconds later. "fine you wanna know why i'm with you?" i stayed quiet "because no one else will love you. you seriously think someone else will want you? think again. you're stupid, you're a whore. no one else will want you, and if they do it'll be for just one thing. your appearance. your fucking body and face that's all."

that stung

"cat got your tongue?" i literally hate him. i don't have anything else to say except for one thing. "we are done. i'm so done with you" i unbuckled the seatbelt and gave him one last look before wiping my tears again.

"and i want my shit back bitch" i dug into my bag and got out the stupid necklace he gave me. "don't fucking worry you'll have your shit back" i threw the necklace at him and got out of the car.

everything he said, every single thing hurt me. as if i wasn't insecure or questioning myself enough before.

i walked home with those words running through my head the entire time. i cleaned my face before walking inside my house so no one would notice.

right when i got home i rushed into my room and gathered everything he's ever given me or anything that has to do with him. i even included the pictures of us but i ripped myself off. when i finished i sealed it and went back downstairs towards the front door. "i'll be back" i got my car keys and walked out with the box in my hands.

well it's my dads car but i'm the one always using it so might aswell be mine.

i just want to be done with him for good so thats why he's getting all this shit today.