Corrupted, Damaged, And Beautiful

F O R T Y S I X

Daisy

I pushed my way into the apartment, the warmth hitting my face and tingling against my frosty skin. It was almost Christmas Day, and the weather was definitely showing. I was sure we were due a blanket of snow sometime soon, I was just waiting for it.

I chucked my coat lightly onto the arm of the sofa, kicking my black boots into the corner. My feet ached. I'd decided to use my legs and walk back from my counselling session this week. I know Nate will be frustrated with me, but quite frankly, I don't care. As everyone else keeps informing me, I can't put my life on hold. I can't hide away forever, and so I won't. Despite how terrified I might be inside.

I heard Nates grumble in frustration as his keys jingled outside the apartment. His day had clearly been less pleasant than I expected, and I was now dreading telling him about my ten minute walk alone. If he was already tense, then I was about to cause a storm inside our apartment.

Since I'd acted out, had a major panic attack, and almost left him, he's been extra protective and worried about me. At night I feel him watching me sleep, I feel his hands tighten around my body and, although I love the burning feeling his touch leaves, I can't deny that I don't like those reasons behind him touching me so intensely. If he was grabbing me to turn me on my back, climb on top of me, and devour my whole body, then maybe I'd feel differently. But right now, most of his touches are associated with his concern for me and I'm sick of it.

It's actually been more than five days since the man made love to me, and tonight it wasn't about to hit the sixth. I know what is wrong with him, he's terrified to hurt me, doesn't want me feeling pressured in anyway, and is therefore terrified to go near me. Well enough is enough, I may be severely depressed because of Robert, but that doesn't mean I don't want Nates love. If anything, I need it. Urgently. And tonight I intend to receive it.

I make my way into the bathroom and switch the shower on. I hear his smart shoes click across the kitchen marble, before he shouts, "baby? You home?" I'm not sure if it's because I haven't released any sexual tension for five days, but I'm extra sensitive to the deep grumble of his voice. It sends rhythms of excitement straight to my core, and I sigh as the hot water trickles down my back at the same time.

I decide to leave him hanging, hoping he'll enter the bathroom, see my naked form dripping wet and stalk over to me to give me the best sex yet. I did not force Amanda to also take a Hollywood wax with me for him not to put my beauty to use. I did not go through an hour of pain for nothing.

I turn the shower off, surprised that he hasn't come in, and make my way into the bedroom. It's empty, dark and cold. Where could he be?

Deciding it's time to start my plan, I pull out a black lace lingerie set, complete with black lace-topped stockings. I quickly blow dry my hair, apply makeup and top my look with a ruby red lipstick. My fiancé will touch me tonight.

I giggled at my thoughts, feeling out my element but excited. It's rare I do such seductive things, and before I met Nate, this wasn't even something I could say I'd considered. But I wanted him and I was about to show him how much.

I covered my outfit with my black silk gown, ensuring you could see a good amount of cleavage.

The apartment sounded extremely quiet, but that could be to do with Hopes absence. His parents had offered to have her for a few hours after school, and this time I opted to letting them. It wasn't planned, but now I'm glad I had said yes.

"Nate?" I called, as I made my way into the lounge. It was also dark in here, a shiver sweeping across my body as I looked around for him. It wasn't this dark just? I realised that with the shower on, I couldn't hear whether he had left or not, and by the sounds of it, he had. I sighed in frustration as I sunk down on the sofa beside where my coat was left.