Whatever It Takes

Chapter 38

It had already been four hours but Carlisle had not returned in our suite. I had finished writing down the report and eating the left over pizza. I cleaned the table and neatly piled up the folders he handed me this morning.

I was thinking of going out but I was hesitant. He might come back anytime and he might be looking for me. I patiently waited for him. I had already taken a shower and changed into my pyjamas but he had not returned. I decided to sleep and not overthink about him.

Maybe he has gone back to the villa in Rose Island. Maybe he went to see Ashnae. Maybe he went to make peace with his grandmother.

I did not want to think of something negative because it might make me go out and look for him in the streets. I did not know Nassau well. I could get lost.

It was already bed time but Carlisle hadn't returned yet. It was my first time to be in bed without him for almost a week. It felt different. I easily got used to have him beside me all the time. I decided to go out of the room and stay in the couch.

I was awoken by the sound of the opening door. I checked my phone and saw that it was almost midnight. I quickly stood up and saw Carlisle.

"You should have gone to bed. It's late." He told me.

"I couldn't sleep. I was worried about you. I did not know where you went. You walked out on me because I said something you think is stupid." I said calmly.

"You know how I react everytime you insist on your feelings." He uttered.

"I did not insist. I simply told you. I was not forcing you to commit to me or give my relationship with you any decent label. I just said that because that's what I feel and that's what I'm supposed to do." I said. My tears started to fall. I was also confused with my feelings. Is it really love? Or am I just sexually attracted to him? All I know was it was more than like. I cared deeply for him. And like him to me, I want to take care of him.

"Adriana, please stop." He said.

"Okay. I will stop." I said putting my hands up in midair surrendering. I turned my back and slowly walked back to the room. Carlisle pulled my arm and embraced me tightly.

I lost it. I cried like a baby. I was sobbing. Why did he have to embrace me everytime I was about to cry?

"You should stop holding me like you care. You're pushing me my feelings too far. I'm used to people not caring for me and you're doing this. You are unfair. You don't want me to love you but you make me feel wanted everytime I feel sad and alone. You're the first person I got connected with and you don't want me. Maybe I'm not pretty enough. Maybe because I have no money, name, or family that's why you don't really get serious with me. You only want me around because I remind you of Margaret. You're unfair! You're unfair!" I cried. Carlisle was just standing still holding me tight. He was comforting me like a child who was not given a candy.

He slowly lifted me and put me to bed. My eyes were tired of crying. My head was throbbing from thinking why can't he like me like I do. I did not realized that I already fell asleep. I woke up at dawn and found Carlisle still holding me to sleep.

"You're unfair." I whispered looking at his face. He opened his eyes and looked back at me. Oh, he wasn't asleep afterall.

"I know I am, and I'm sorry, Princess." He said softly and he kissed my forehead. I tried to push him away and get out of the bed but he was not letting me go.

My tears were falling from my cheeks. Carlisle saw me silently crying. He wiped my cheeks with his hands and gently kissed me on my face.

"You're unfair." I said it again.

"I know but I can't help myself." He softly said and he took my lips. This time, his kisses were becoming deeper. I guess my feelings were really strong towards him and I let myself answer his kisses with equally passionate ones.

Before I knew it, Carlisle was on top of me again, tossing my pyjamas away. I found myself very foolish. My hands were touching him everywhere. He was patient. He was more gentle this time. It was not sex. He was actually making love to me. He was looking at me straight in my eyes. I couldn't tell what his eyes were exactly saying. It was melancholic. He kissed me tenderly. The way he caressed my body made me crazy. Everything he did was to pleasure me. He was very considerate to my every need and desire. I was there, underneath him, getting drowned with every thrust he made. Carlisle made every inch of me a woman.

I was making sultry sounds and although my mind was telling me to stop, the rest of myself was craving for Carlisle.

"Don't stop. Take all of me." I whispered to him. He penetrated me deeper and harder. I was clinging on him and savoring his every move. Our love making was longer. I, in fact, never wanted it to end. I was already dripping wet and he seemed to like it even more. Carlisle slowly put me on top of him. I felt the cold air gently touched my body. It did not matter.

"Ride me, Princess." Carlisle said. I trusted my instinct and started to move my hips in a semi- circular motion. His hands were stroking my breasts making me wilder and hotter. I heard Carlisle breathing deeper. I decided to grind my hips faster. I could feel his shaft hitting my wet walls. The feeling was exhilirating.

When Carlisle heard me panting he pulled me gently and laid me back to bed. He kept on pushing himself inside me. My body was arching making his body reached my deepest part. I could not hold it any longer. I exploded in delight. He kept on moving on top of me until I felt something hot came out of him.

We were both catching our breaths as soon as every thing settled in. Carlisle was still silent with his melancholic gazes.

"I know you won't love me back but you can't stop me from feeling this. I can't even stop myself. I understand the consequences and I won't blame you for it when the time comes. I won't demand anything from you. Who knows what will happen after two weeks. You may not love me but maybe my love would be enough for the both of us." I bravely told him.

I realized that I was becoming stubborn, but who wasn't everytime it's the first time to love?

Que sera, sera. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.