𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐂 / 𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐙𝐄𝐋 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐘

16; "...but at what cost?"

𝐈𝐳𝐚𝐢𝐚 𝐈𝐧𝐞𝐳 𝐀𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐞
error; internal clock disturbed
hawaiian standard time

i cried for what seemed like the first time in my life because for the first time in my life i didn't feel trapped.

i stared up at denzel, who's eyes were just as glossy as mine. "you're serious?"

the sand felt real enough, the warmth on my skin felt real enough, the waves sounded real enough. i just wanted him to confirm it.

"yeah we're here." he smiled a little. "but we have to go soon. i'll bring you back another time okay?"

we had just got here. i wasn't ready to leave. "no, i like it here."

"izaia," my name came out in a piercing sigh that made my skin itch all over. "we have to go."

"no, we dont." i glared at him. "you said you would take me wherever i wanted to go and i dont wanna go anywhere else. you promised. you can't lie and take it back."

he was the only person i trusted and now he was ruining that. i hated liars and i didnt want to hate him.

"i didn't lie. its just not safe here." denzel took a step towards me, grabbing my wrist lightly. "come on."

"why?" why could i just stay here and be happy?

"if you're as important as you claim to be then you would understand. you can't just take us a couple sectors away and think you're off the hook." his voice was stern as he stared me down. "they're gonna look for you. what the fuck are you gonna do when that happens?"

i didn't like his tone but i knew he was right. there was still so much that i didn't understand- like why i meant so much to isaiah? he hardly treated me like he cared. why i couldn't live a regular life? why i was constantly being guarded?

nothing in my life made any sense to me.

the few moments of happiness i felt had been dampened. i took a seat in the sand. i needed a little bit of time to process everything.

how could i be free but not free? what was i even running from? my chest wanted to cave in desperately from the heavy weight filling my lungs.

regret started to overwhelm me. what if this had been a bad idea? maybe i shouldn't have let denzel actually steal me away. i just wanted fresh air, i wanted to breathe without thinking of kelsey watching my every move. i definitely didn't want sedations anymore.

i wanted peace but at what cost?

i was never the best at making good decisions for myself. that was almost entirely because isaiah decided everything for me. i just learned to keep quiet about it.

denzel sat beside me, pulling me into his chest. "you made the right choice, we just have to lay low for a while."

my hand clutched some sand, only the smooth grains slipped between my fingers. the moment i had waited so long for was finally here but i couldn't enjoy it.

unlike the sand slipping through my fingers, isaiah wouldn't just allow me to get away so easily. and i knew deep down i was being stupid, they'd look for me no matter how hard i tried to hide. chills crept up my spine thinking of the punishment they put me through.

"maybe i should go back?" i looked up at his frowning face. i was unsure if this was what i wanted anymore. the thought of going back made my head hurt but atleast then i wouldn't have to deal with the consequences of leaving.

"we're not doing that." he said. "and i don't want to find out if you can make a gateway back. so don't think about it okay?"

"me? make a gateway?" i stared at the sand, millions of loud thoughts hurting my already achy head.