𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐂 / 𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐙𝐄𝐋 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐘

2; "are you real?"

𝐈𝐳𝐚𝐢𝐚 𝐈𝐧𝐞𝐳 𝐀𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐞
day 1 ; hour 03 ; minute 34
???? standard time

his eyes were twinkly, putting me in some sort of trance. i blinked, slowly forgetting what he was doing here.

"don't do that!" i covered my eyes. "please don't."

denzel sighed and rolled over, tucking his hands behind his head. "i can't leave you like this. i'll be put on a ban for like two extra months bro."

"a ban from what?" i peeked through my fingers to see if it was safe. it was easy to forget that only 15 minutes earlier he'd been trying to erase my memory of him.

"magic, how many times do we have to go over this, izaia?" he chuckled.

"is that how you disappeared so fast?" my mind was still swirling anxiously. how did i know he was even real?

"yeah, you seem afraid of those people, who are they?"

"afraid is an understatement." i whispered thinking back to what they possibly did to me.

"why?"

did i want to explain that to him? no, and i wasn't obligated to either. so i ignored the question.

"are you real?" my fingers started to touch his face but i was nervous. what if this was just another imaginary friend i had conjured up to keep me from being lonely?

denzel looked at me. "duh."

"can i-" i was afraid to find out. they always said they were real but would never let me touch them.

he shrugged so i proceeded to reach for his facial hair.

the second my fingers made contact my breath was taken away. he was real. the hair was prickly and coarse. i let a shocked giggle. "holy fuck!"

i traced his eyes and nose, poking at the ring in his nostril. i fumbled with the array of chains around his neck, captivated by the weight of them. i twirled the diamond bracelets around his wrist, curious as to if they were actual diamonds. with the way they glimmered in the low light they had to be. i pulled one of his hands from under his head and took his rings off and on.

denzel didn't seem to mind me toying with him like a doll.

i clutched the palm of his hand with both of mine, scared that if i let go he'd disappear. what if this was just some elaborate trick that my mind was playing on me? i wouldn't be able to tell what was real anymore. "how?"

"how what?"

"how are you real?"

"what? i'm just real..." his face creased as he looked at me confused. "are you alright upstairs?"

i didnt know how to answer that because i didn't know what he meant by that. was i alright? upstairs?

it felt like a riddle.

"where are you gonna go when you leave here?" hope was lingering on my tongue after i asked. i usually never thought to give the imaginary people identities. my brain couldn't give them a backstory and make them tangible, that was far beyond the realm of crazy i knew.

his eyes softened as he answered. "school."

"what's your school like?" i squeezed his hand. maybe he was real after all.

"it's a magic school and-"

every glimpse of hope died and i was left with a bitter taste in my mouth. i belonged in a looney bin for sure. i dropped his hand and turned my back to him. everything was dying; the hope that i'd get out of here, the idea that i wasn't crazy, that he'd save me, it all washed away like the blood on my body after a long sedation.

"izaia?" he tapped my shoulder. "did i say something wrong?"

i started to cry. why was i being so mean to myself? why wasn't he going away now? i should've known it was too good to be true. i would be stuck here until i went through some eye opening experience that made me want to pursue the same career as isaiah. it seemed inevitable.

"hey?" he poked. "i'm sorry... i don't know what i did wrong but-"

i couldn't take it. "just go away. why are you still here? you aren't even real." i wanted to scream but they'd come in and sedate me. i hated when they did that. eddison always left me on the floor riddled in bruises when he was done with me.

"how do i convince you i'm real?" he pulled a strand of my hair around his finger. "i don't know what i'm supposed to tell you."

"you can't because you aren't. magic doesn't exist, i can't believe i did this to myself." i wiped my tears angrily. "it's not fair."

denzel got up and came around to my side, kneeling down so we were eye level. "i can show you magic."

"it's not real, nothings real. it's- it's just my head making things up. i always do this and it's never real." i choked. "never."

the boys that would fall through my vent were merely projection of the boys in my classes. they would say the same stupid shit that the real ones did; begging to date me and kissing up to me because of a name that wasn't even mine really. unlike the boys in my class, the ones falling from nowhere were never real. maybe the ones in my class weren't either.

"what's real to you?" he asked, cradling my head in his large hand. "i don't know what i'm supposed to do."

"nothing's real anymore."

i was officially broken. the line between real and fake had blurred and i was questioning my entire life. where was i? why was i? who was i? when was i?

my feet slipped onto the cold floor. i needed to sleep.

"where are you goin'?"

"i need to be sedated." maybe even what they did to me when i was under was fake... who was to say?

denzel grabbed my arm. "no, no, no." he repeated quickly. "no."

"i'll just scream." my voice was flat, defeat taking over. i was scared of myself, scared of the images my mind could make.

"i can prove it." he promised. "i can prove that i'm real."

"how?"

"i'll take you away from here." his brown eyes were wild. was he as scared as me? "wherever you want and you'll never have to come back."

away from here? i wasn't sure when the last time i had stepped foot outside the school grounds was.

"how?"

"you have to trust me." he held my head. "i'm gonna take you away okay?"

what did i have to lose? at this point reality was being consumed by the falsehood isolation created. i was constantly hurting, i didn't know what i wanted in life, and my sanity was slipping through the cracks in my fingers. they had taken everything from me.

what the fuck did i have to lose if this turned out to be a figment of my overly active imagination? nothing. i had absolutely nothing.

"okay." i nodded as he laid me down again. "what are you gonna do?"

"i'm gonna learn how to travel with people." he said pulling the silky blanket under my chin. "i know you think the whole magic thing is weird, but just trust me."

trust him? i guess it really didn't matter at this point.

trust, no trust, i would hurt regardless.