𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐂 / 𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐙𝐄𝐋 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐘

13; "she'll break your arms..."

𝐈𝐳𝐚𝐢𝐚 𝐈𝐧𝐞𝐳 𝐀𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐞
day 82 ; hour 11; minute 27
???? standard time

we flew back to the school and i didn't ask for anesthesia and surprise, surprise, nothing happened to me.

there were things happening that didn't add up, things that i couldn't explain because i didn't have any proof. but i felt like something was wrong. the world just felt a lot chillier than it normally would've been.

when i showed up to my classes, it was as if everyone had forgotten about me, even the teachers. i felt like i didn't exist, like i wasn't real anymore.

ms. grimaldi looked at me strangely. "dear, are you sure you're supposed to be here?"

"yes, ms. grimaldi," i frowned. "ambré, it should be on your attendance records."

she check the clipboard with her class roster, placing her thin framed glasses on the tip of her nose. "hmm, let me see..."

behind me the class just stared, whispering about who i could, what family i belonged to, why i had showed up in the middle of the semester. it pissed me off.

these were all kids i had known for the last few years, acting like i was some new student when i wasn't. the joke was far from funny. with the mood i was in, i had half a thought to slit all their throats. my anger was stemming from a place that i had no access to, i wasn't sure what made me so enraged... i just was.

"oh, here, please pronounce that for me." she pointed to my name, colored in red ink.

"izaia inez ambré." i said, irritated by her incompetence. suddenly it was like a switch had went off in everyone. some wires connected and their brains were functioning properly again.

"you're back!" a girl called.

"where have you been?"

"were you traveling?"

"we missed you!"

"you're so lucky, vacationing in the middle of the term."

"i like your hair, it looks so pretty."

"yes! very fluffy, what products do you use?"

they surrounded me like lions closing in on prey. all their voices merged into a indistinguishable rumble, and i just stood in the midst of it. i was in the mouth of the storm, if that's how the expression went. it was deafening but almost in a silent manner.

did i value my life? i was focused on deciphering what that meant. the was the center of all my chaos.

"oh children, into your seats!" ms. grimaldi shooed them away. "would you like to tell the class about your holiday?"

my mouth opened and i started to say that i was tired, that i had no interest in recollecting my "holiday". instead i told them a story, a story of what i wished happened.

"yes, i went to hawaii and i played in the water." i could see the clear blue water in front of me, hear the singing of the natives, feel the lei tickling my neck. i could smell the sweet syrup for shaved ice wafting through the crisp air. "and i ate street food, and danced with the girls. they wore these skirts made of leaves..."

as i told this story, i felt like i was sinking into the sand, the sun leaving gentle kisses all over my skin. the more i talked the more vivid it was. i was there.

i wanted to go to hawaii, anywhere that wasn't fucking greenland or germany.

"oh that is lovely, sweetheart, thank you for sharing. now sit so we can perform our daily puja." the teacher chortled.