𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙧𝙩𝙮 𝙨𝙞𝙭

jaden's pov:

i didn't even want to be at this stupid party.

it felt useless to be there if i didn't went have something to work on. i was stuck. i had nothing. all i could think about was reagan, day and night. i had hoped that releasing the angels & demons acoustic would spark some kind of inspiration, but it hadn't. the only reason i did was for her, god i miss her.

the party was full of drunk idiots, half of them probably not even knowing why they were here or why there was a party in the first place. hell, i barely knew why i was here. this was the first party i'd been to since halloween, i even managed to avoid my own 20th birthday party.

i walked around the party, not really knowing what i should do tonight. i didn't want to get drunk, so i stuck with drinking red bull for the night, hoping it would give me some energy. but fuck if i needed to get high. one of these local idiots is bound to have some weed on them.

i walked towards the balcony, pushing though the crowd of drunk, horny people, finally making it and seeing that ryan guy, the one who seemed to like reagan.

you can't be jealous anymore, she's not yours anymore.

"hossler! bro it feels like it's been forever since i've seen you" ryan hollered as i stepped out onto the balcony.

"hey man, where's your girl?" he asked, leaning in closer to me, as even outside the music was deafening.

"uh we kinda broke up" i shrugged, not really even sure how to describe what happend between us, not that he deserved to know.

oh yeah i was just using her then fell in love with her but she found out and left.

"aww dude that sucks" ryan said, taking a hit off his joint. "i thought i saw her here earlier with some tall dude, but i don't think it was her"

"do you have an extra?" i asked pointing at the joint in his hand, wanting to change the subject.

"yeah" he said, pulling a bag out of his jacket filled with joints.

ryan was starting to get a name for himself around the party scene as the guy you went to for drugs. he was connected with some local dealer that gave him a pretty good cut of whatever he sold.

"i also got estcasy, some xans, and some coke if you want some" ryan offered, listing off countless more drug that he could get if i wanted some.

i'd never been one to do drugs. the only time i have as halloween i took an estcasy pill thinking it was aspirin. it led to a pretty crazy night. my senses were heightened, everything felt more intense. reagan's touch on my skin felt electric, her lips on mine-

"i think i have some acid too-" ryan continued patting around his pockets before i interrupted him.

"i'll take a couple xans" i said, handing him money for it before leaving the balcony.

maybe i'll actually get some sleep tonight. sleeping has been difficult. i got used to reagan's warm body next to mine that sleeping without her, even after these 4 months is nearly impossible. whenever i can manage to take a nap or get a few hours of sleep, all i see is her. she's everywhere.

god i hope she hasn't been having nightmares.

i moved inside the party, instantly regretting it as everyone was yelling about something. i quickly popped a xanax before continuing through the party.

i made it to the kitchen, deciding to make myself a drink. fuck being sober, i'm already high why not get drunk too?

i mixed up some random concoction, not really sure what bottles i grabbed. the drink burned my throat as i drank it, but the pain that sits on my chest day in and day out slowly started to fade away.