The struggle is real

Chapter 31: Never say goodbye

Tris pov:

I pull his lips back up to mine with a laugh. He slightly bites down on my bottom lip and I suppress a moan. If I am dreaming I don't want to wake up.

I flip ourselves around so that I am on top of him. I sit up slowly pulling him with me so that I am straddling him. My fingers are tangled in his hair, slightly pulling when he sucks on my lip. We are so close that the only way we could be any closer, would be getting rid of the only border between us; our clothing.

As if reading my thoughts, he tugs at the bottom of my shirt asking for permission. I am afraid of intimacy, and as far as I know, he is aware of that, but that's not what's holding me back right now. I'll lose my virginity. What if I don't marry Tobias? Then I wouldn't be able to give the person I marry all of me. No, I can't.

"Tobias, I can't." I put my hand over his and make eye contact. "I love you Beatrice Prior, and I will wait for you." He softly kisses my forehead, then my my nose, my cheek, and lastly my lips. I lightly kiss him back. I pull away and play with his hair again just looking into his eyes. I let a small smile onto my face. "You... Are amazing." I say.
"It's because I love you Tris."
"I love you too Tobias."
"Sleep Tris, I'll take the floor."

I laugh and roll my eyes. "Tobias. Lay down, you know you can lay in the bed with me." I say giving him a look.
"Well I wanted to be a gentleman." He says. I just give him a smile and for the last time for a while, I go to sleep with his arms wrapped around me.

VvV

"Tobias wake up, we left everyone outside." I say with my own eyes still closed half asleep. When I don't get a response, I sigh and force my eyes open rolling over so that I am facing Tobias's side of the bed. "Tobias, you need to-" I cut myself off when I see a note laying on his pillow. I stare at it for about five seconds and then quickly grab it and skim my eyes over it.

My eyes widen and I drop the note running out of my penthouse in my pajamas and slippers and jump in my limo shouting to my driver where to go.
As I sit in the back with my head in my hands, I let four words flood my mind: Airport. 10:00. I'm sorry.

VvV

I jump out of the limo and run through the doors of the airport. I check my watch; 9:52. If even possible, I run faster. In the distance I see their gate.
My eyes widen as I see the whole gang walking through the gate and Tobias is the last and is about to go through with his luggage.

"No!" I scream sprinting towards them. The group turns around and Tobias's eyes grow big and he slightly shakes his head and I see his lips form my name.

He sets down his bags and walks forward a few steps. I get to him and he takes my head in both of his hands. "How could you leave without saying goodbye?" I didn't even know I was crying until now. "It was too hard, I couldn't say goodbye, I love you too much. I couldn't stand it." He says.

"I love you too and that's exactly why I needed to say goodbye, because that's the thing, this isn't goodbye. It's just a 'see Ya later.' This isn't the end. Never say goodbye, goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting." I say breathing heavily. By now everyone at this gate is watching.

"Sir, we are closing the gate, if you are coming you need to go through now." The lady that works at the gate says sympathetically. "I love you Tobias." I whisper to him. "I love you too Tris." He whispers back. "I'll see you later." I say turning away. "Tris wait." He grabs my wrist and before I know what's happening his lips are on mine. I press my hand to the back of his head and I hear claps and whistles from the group and people in the gate, I also hear snaps of cameras. He pulls away and the last thing he says to me is "I'll see Ya later." Then he grabs his bags and walks through the gate with the group who gives me small smiles and a few waves.

So in my pajamas, I walk through the airport with a smile one face and tears rapidly running down my cheeks. A large crowd and paparazzi follow me asking me questions and take pictures. As I walk outside, I see his plane take off, and with a smile on my face, I wave knowing that he doesn't see me. I get in the Limo and go back to my penthouse.

Tobias pov:

On the plane I sit on the outer seat with Zeke by the window and Uriah between the two of us. The flight attendant announces that the plane is taking off. As we start going up, I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach and I know exactly what it is. I don't know where she is, but I know Tris is watching.
A feeling of contentment washes over me, and I engage into conversation with Zeke and Uriah.

Tris pov:

"Tris, you're gonna be okay." Caleb says holding me in his arms while I cry like a baby bundled up in my blankets watching chick flicks and eating ice cream. "I know. I'm honestly fine, it's just stupid girl hormones. I miss them, but I'm okay, yet I'm still crying! Do you see my dilemma?" I wail waving my large wooden spoon around.
"So wait, did you guys say goodbye?" He asks. "No, we said 'Ill see you later, because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting!" I say like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Wait, isn't that from Peter Pan?" He asks me. "Oh my God, I freaking quoted Peter Pan to the love of my life. I'm an idiot, shoot me in face!" I cry. "Well boy that escalated quickly." Caleb says sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "Watch your tone." I snap. "Geez." He mumbles.

"You're really watching the fault in our stars right now? You're basically asking for the tears." He says shaking his head at me. "Hey! The fault in our stars is a perfect movie for anytime, and plus I sing two of the songs in this movie AND my friend Ansel plays in it, oh Ya that's right, I'm just that cool." I say with a mouth full of Reese's ice cream.

"Oh Ya. You know some people have said we looks like the stars of that movie" Caleb says. We look at each other observantly and after a moment shake our heads and say "Naaaa" in unison.

I slap him repeatedly bouncing up and down with tears filling my eyes. "This is the part where my song 'Not about Angels' plays!" I shout. I can't go through this scene without crying, but I'm not always even crying because of what is happening in the movie, but because this song is the song I sang for my parents' funeral.

He wraps his arms around me and I snuggle up into him. I may not have Tobias, or my parents, or any of my friends, but I do have my brother.

Hey initiates! Man, can I just say I'm so sorry! If you are wondering what I'm talking about this is it; Last night I went back and looked at all the chapters, skimming over them, and I was literally crying because of everything that I made happen in this story, and I was like "Why did I ever write these plot twists?" I honestly don't even know how I sleep at night. So Ya, sorry that I put you guys through all of that! 😪😁😕 btw this chapter was posted at 10:46 ;)

QOTD: Team Peeta or Team Gale?

My answer: TEAM PEETA ALL THE WAY! Gale is such a pansycake. 😒
Plus if ANY of you say that Gale liked Katniss first you are INCORRECT! It says that Peeta liked Katniss when he was five, that's before Gale and Katniss even met. And I don't care what you say, Gale would have volunteered if he really loved Katniss, he even says that himself in Mockingjay, I mean Peeta sure didn't hesitate to volunteer to protect her. So if you say you are team Gale, leave it at that.

Remember to be eaton that cake!