TW// Suicide attempt near end of chapter
Scott's POV
"Você tem?" I looked up at the gang leader in front of me and I took in a breath. I shook my head a bit and dug into my pocket, pulling out a little baggie of cocaine. I put it on the desk and the man grabbed it, opening it and taking a whiff. He reached into his desk and pulled out a revolver and handed it over to me. I grabbed it and ran my fingers over the metal.
"Obrigado," I said simply, standing up and bowing before leaving the office. I went down the steps leading to the building and looked around before walking straight.
I pulled my phone out as I walked and stared at Mitch's contact. I wanted to call him, apologize for what I did; leaving him alone in California, I mean. I didn't mean to leave so suddenly but in my mind, I had no choice. If I didn't leave at that moment, I wouldn't have left in the first place. I needed to go somewhere to clear my head. I needed to be away from Mitch for a while without him worrying about me. I still didn't know why he decided to forgive me so easily. Was there something he was planning to get back at me?
I huffed and tucked the revolver into my belt on my hip and continued to go down the streets of Monsanto. I weaved through the streets and found the house I was staying at. I knocked on the door then allowed myself in.
"Oh, Scott. You're back. Come check these for me."
"Not in the mood, Miguel. I'm going to bed." I said and walked past the bald man sorting ammo. I went into the main room and took off my jacket, setting it on the floor next to my small mattress. I set my revolver in the jacket and laid down, groaning at the hard floor and trying to get comfortable. I put my hands across my chest and stared up at the ceiling.
"I know it's only been a week, but you should go back to the States with him." Miguel came into the room and fell on the ground beside me. He turned on his back and looked up at the ceiling with me. "He needs you."
"He's better off without me for now."
"You're only saying that because that's what you believe. You want him to be able to be without you. You want him to hate you."
"I didn't come to Portugal for a pep talk." I turned on my side and closed my eyes. Miguel chuckled and I heard his shoes clacking against the wood floor as he walked around the room.
"Why not leave with him? You two could leave California together, travel the world, and leave everything behind." Miguel chuckled and a blanket fell over my shoulders. "What am I saying? That's a fantasy."
That's not a bad idea.
-One Month later-
"You going to be okay by yourself?" Miguel asked as he walked me to airport security.
"Yeah. I need to go back to California. Figure some things out while I have some time alone." I huffed and shifted my hold on the bag over my shoulder. "Thanks for letting me stay here, Miguel."
"No problem. You're always welcome back if you need a place to stay or just someone to talk to." Miguel patted me on the shoulder and I waved at him as my flight number was called. The plane ride back to California was certainly a long one. It was almost fifteen hours but I only slept for about four. There was a tugging feeling in my chest as I neared the States. I didn't know if I could bring myself to see Mitch just yet. I don't know if I'm ready.
Once I finally got home, I threw all my luggage at the foot of the stairs and went to the upper living room. I collapsed on the couch and opened the cameras through the large TV, rewinding to the beginning of the month then fast-forwarding to the present. I opened the coffee table and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and several glasses. I blew out any dust that could've gotten into the glasses then filled them. I took one shot as I watched the room switch from day to night in seconds. As the recording stopped, I realized I had taken more shots than necessary.
