Are we friends yet?

Escape

My focus scattered the moment I stepped in the clinic. I couldn't build a conversation although I could manage to sit still while my mind was playing scenarios.

I feel the physical symptoms as much as I know what happened prior to this anticipation, still with the soothing music Siwon plays at the background, it doesn't comfort me. And in the end, it makes me more nervous to openly tell him that I want a test, it's more nervewracking to finally wait for the result.

Siwon has been so eloquent the entire time, but I'm glad that in the end he decides to stop with his questions. He must notice my anxiety that he asks his assistant to get me some drink.

He attempts to be casual as he's telling that there are some advance tests that we can pick, but I respond in a joking manner that I only need a quick test with a doctor confidently reading the result for me. He smiles again. He pauses and asks how I'm feeling before he speaks more. And that's when I'm convinced that the result is positive.

He lets me have a moment. I drink my water and I can't think of anything. It's like I'm dreaming with my eyes wide open, not knowing how to wake up.

When our eyes meet, Siwon asks if I want to continue with the pregnancy. I look at his eyes in silence.

Alone, I need to decide. I'm thinking of what a mother will pick if she has choices.

Then I nod my head eventually, stopping myself from giving a space for hesitation. His lips curve in a smile after that. A few moments later, he lets me know how far I am in my pregnancy.

"It's approximately three weeks," he says and I'm quiet like all the words are gone.

When he prescribes me some tablets, I ask if Miyeon is busy.

"You want me to call her?" I nod for that. "Ok, we can proceed to dinner. You want it?"

I nod again. "Thanks, oppa."

He shakes his head and lets me see his comforting smile again. And it takes an hour for me to finally meet Miyeon. I'm not sure if I missed some codes exchanged between Miyeon and her husband, but I hear, "Let's hug," after she holds me in a stare.

We don't usually hug, but this time we hug for a long time.

Miyeon didn't find out from her husband. I told her honestly and when we're left alone, she speaks her thoughts.

"You should've told Chanyeol immediately. I don't want to see you confused alone like this?"

"How did you know that it's his?"

"Nothing happened until you decided to rekindle your friendship with your ex that suddenly you're pregnant?"

I smile bitterly. "What if I say that telling him isn't my priority? I'm here dreading, thinking how I survive without telling my parents. I can't even start to question how my mom would react."

"Why are you thinking of hiding it from your parents? Tell Chanyeol and be with him to overcome it."

"What if he doesn't want it? This loser chose his career over a marriage with a girlfriend he dated for years. Why would he want a kid?"

"Never call someone a loser because of the decision they make," she tells."And you're an equal loser if you're not trying to give yourself a chance."

The saying of the best friend tells you the bitter fact could be true.

Miyeon could be the worst everytime she tries to open my eyes, but I can't deny that I need someone like her in my life.

But till we part in front of my gates, I'm still clueless of how to let Chanyeol know.