Are we friends yet?

Our Friendship Made of These

I remember meeting you when you didn't know my name and I wouldn't let your presence steal the slightest moment of my day.

But you're now every ticking second on my wrist watch, you're every fragment of the steps I take. You're everywhere when I question if you were supposed to happen, but you happened.

In the evening, I would stop studying because you didn't stop texting me, it was very strange because it was meaningless, but I would stay up for your texts and wake up in the morning with the homework I couldn't turn in.

I was excited for the thought of meeting you and you would choose a seat for me beside you.

And then, you suggested that we studied together. We would sit so close and you asked me to lower my voice because I laughed loudly for every stupid joke I read. 

Then, you began confusing me.

~*~

When I woke up, the clock on my phone told me that it was only four in the morning but I pulled myself up on my elbows and then I left my bed and walked to my study desk.

I had set a mental reminder that I needed to finish what I left before I fell asleep the previous night.

Senior year was here and homework was doubled. It pumped me to work harder and made Sehun once question me why I was willing to study hard when I didn't even plan to go to college. 

Doing something meaningful is never useless, that was what I said to him but actually I questioned myself most of the times.

Perhaps, it was my mother that made me keep up with everything.

I would shut out every chance others used to encourage me to go to college, but the thought of my mother wishing me to consider painting a future that I didn't really want made me think. At least, I didn't want to disappoint her more.

I had added a paragraph to my essay when hunger became a distraction. I walked to the kitchen.

Washing my face in the sink, I remembered that I had an online assignment that I needed to catch up, so I immediately prepared a bowl of cereal and sat at the kitchen table. I shoved a spoonful in my mouth and chew. A few moments later my mother walked in.

“You’re up early,” she said. 

I nodded and she invited me to meditate with her after finishing my early breakfast. I nodded again although I wouldn't come with her. And of course, my mother knew me.

"Don't just pray when you feel like it," she told a constant advice that, perhaps, she wondered why she always needed to say to me.

I smiled, because it was just so amusing that she always knew something without me voicing it.

“Do you want to pray or not?”

I thought she would start telling me the cons of not praying, but all she did was asking.

I shook my head, and she nodded after a few seconds of staring at me quietly.

And that was the moment I stood up and brought my empty bowl to the sink-- I could wash it later after I joined her meditating.

~*~

I was a few steps away from the main gates when I recognised a car coming and I slowed then stopped when the window rolled down and showed Mr. and Mrs. Park. They smiled as I bowed. 

It had been a while that I stopped working for Chanyeol's mother and although she had said that I could visit from time to time, the only time I met her was when I came to the restaurant with the boys and Miyeon to do our homework together but ended up playing truth or dare, pretending we had no homework to complete.