Are we friends yet?

The Happiness We Deserve

"So is this what made your boss send you to Japan?" My question is delivered as I'm watching Chanyeol install an extended cabinet in my kitchen.

"No, I told you this is a special offer for a special client."

"Stop flirting, you dork. It won't work."

He chuckles and I can't stop myself from curving my lips.

He's been working on the interior design of my work space. For the past three days he would come as soon as he's done with his work in the office and it constantly arises questions from my parents. They have asked why everything is done in the evening-- because I don't let them know that it's been him. I don't tell my parents that it's Chanyeol who asked me how I wanted everything to be arranged. I don't tell my parents that it's Chanyeol who personally volunteered to fix things. I don't tell my parents that it's Chanyeol who makes me enthusiastically leave in the evening even though what I do the whole day has been tiring me. I don't tell them.

Everything is an effort which he insisted that I couldn't seem to decline. 

"Ok, done!" He announces when I don't stop staring at him. And I'm not imagining when he stares back at my eyes before he cuts the contact as he's collecting his tools. "Now, what do you have for me? I hope it isn't some noodles again because I badly need to recharge."

I scoff because the noodles I served the other evening was his own request. "You'll eat what my parents are probably having."

I move to prepare the dinner for two that I packed. He scrunches his nose when he finds sardines and red beans soup like he isn't interested, but I don't give him a room to protest.

Just when he suggests ordering fried chicken, I react.

"I thought we had to be wise with our money? No?"

"I'll pay..." He pauses to smile and then adds, "We? Why do you sound like we have a monetary agreement?" He shrugs his shoulders before giving me a chance to answer. "Marriage culture Soojung said."

"Said someone who chose career over marriage with the girlfriend he'd been dating for years," I tease.

"Hey!" He scolds me, but then his face can't seem to hide the smile he's been holding back. "Don't you dare to use that to make fun of my decision."

I laugh. "Ok, you had choices and that was your decision." When I stop laughing, I ask him seriously. "Did you move on?"

He nods like the word hesitant never exists. "She's happy with her life now. Guess I deserve my own happiness, too." I follow his gaze looking at his hand playing with the ring on his finger like he's nervous. "Other than Jongin who likes requesting Jongdae to share his son's pictures, what makes my group chat noisy again is how everyone asks if we're together again after they found out that I met you on your birthday."

I search for his eyes. "How do you respond to them?"

"Do you want me to be honest?"

"Yes, please."

"I told them honestly that we're not dating again." He stops playing with his ring. "I told them that I'm not sure if I know the new you... like... do you know what I mean? It's perfectly alright to change, but ten years is a big gap comparing to the length we spent together in high school." This time, he can't hide that he's nervous. "Ok, it sounds stupid, but there's something that convinces me that you're still that girl who's afraid of my dog, but likes me so, so much. But it isn't convincing enough before I hear it from you...  I don't even know whether you like me again or it was just alcohol--"

"Wait. What alcohol?"

"When we kissed... and more?"

And it brings me to the puzzles of the long night we shared which had become a distant memory because both of us are great enough to pretend that nothing happened-- although it's impossible to forget the significance of the decision we made that night.