Are we friends yet?

Return

It was the beginning of the week when I asked him if he regretted dating me which he answered by asking me back. I didn’t know the answer although he decided for me.

And the week had been almost over. Both Chanyeol and I were still seen sharing a table for lunch although our interaction was lacking. Minseok was complaining about no one replying his messages in the group chat for the past two days wherein Soojung supplied that everyone except her had muted the notification after Sehun excessively sent memes he edited from their own pictures. Then, she talked about her being scammed by an online shop selling crop tops. Jongdae who finally convinced Junmyeon to try an online game was talking about an upgrade that they could afford for free given they were on a certain level.

Miyeon who earlier laughed after knowing that Sehun and Jongin had to take remedial exam for home economics didn’t just focus on herself; she asked Chanyeol why he was sorting some beans from his soup. He shrugged his shoulders and ate his soup without beans. I looked at everywhere but them when she noticed that I was staring.

“Oh, how was your Mandarin quiz by the way? I’ll have it after this,” she asked.

“I’m never lucky for Mandarin to be honest. Wishing to send an S.O.S to Amber but she didn’t come today,” he chuckled and I wondered if he thought about reaching me to study Mandarin before the quiz like we used to do.

Then, she nudged me. “You ready?”

I knew that she wasn’t asking for herself. She knew that I liked Mandarin. I nodded. When I met Miyeon’s eyes, she gave me her comforting smile.

It was just when the lunch was over that Chanyeol made me stop. Jongdae smiled that one smile I didn’t see for a while as he glanced at Chanyeol’s hand looping around my elbow.

“What was that?” He began when our friends had left.

“What?”

“You’ve been ignoring me and today you avoided my eyes during lunch.”

“Please, not now.”

“Why? Because Mandarin quiz is more important?”

I stopped myself from asking if he had a trouble studying Mandarin before the quiz at the same time I wanted him to let me leave. “Yes.”

He scoffed and let go off my arm.

I couldn’t imagine, then, what he would say if I decided to tell that my avoidance was simply because I was still mad at him at the same time I missed him.

Then, after a few minutes of sitting for a Mandarin quiz, I couldn’t stop questioning why I was being like this, why I was doing it to us.

Then, the ticking seconds felt like stopping when I wanted to leave school.

I was left in the classroom with Yoseob who was sleeping in his seat and Yongguk whom I really didn’t care with since the fights with Chanyeol. My classmates left for the library as soon as our homeroom teacher announced that our arts teacher left us an assignment.  Miyeon had invited me but I reasoned that I wanted to stay.
Then, Jongdae arrived, complaining that the library wasn’t the right place for gaming. He stopped gaming when I asked if the boys played the same game which earlier he responded, “By boys you mean the Future Husband? No, he’s been playing Battlegrounds.” Then, I started to open up after he nudged me, asking the cause of our silence at lunch.

“He didn’t have to openly admit that he’s still talking with her, you know?” I said, hesitant.

“I do believe that Chanyeol found you annoying, May.”