Loving him is so wrong!

Chapter 38

Monica
I feel complete embarrassed and so much like a hoe. I never planned on that secret to come out that I didn't know who Zara's biological dad was because to me she looked like Chandler. But in actuality there's a good percentage that she's Levi's too. That night when Chandler called me I panicked so much I thought he was going to come home and kill me but he just hung up on me. I've been still living in our house in Arizona because I don't know where to go. I don't know if he wants to fix us again or if he wants me to stay here and he leaves but I won't know until he comes home tomorrow night. I fucked up and I fucked up badly. Levi was a big mistake and I let it turn into a whole affair for five years. I know for a fact Alana and Chandler are probably still sleeping behind poor Terrence back. Speaking of which let me call Carmen. I made up with her once I came home and cleared my mind. She told me she understood and would have done the same if the tables were reversed.
"Hey girl. I was just about to call you." Carmen said quickly picking up the phone.
"What's going on? Why you sound so worried?"
"Girl your finna be ex-husband done lost his damn mind and that ain't even half of it. I'm so done with this trip girl."
"Chilllleeeee what happened?" I said sitting up and cutting down my tv I wanted to hear everything.
"Okay first off Alana knows about the kids between you and Terrence."
"What?" I said in a confused tone.
"Bitch don't even try to play me for a fool I saw the video but anyways Alana called off the engagement because of it."
"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING" i screamed into the phone
"Nah chile I'm not. But let's not forget your damn secret done pop up here. I told Alonzo not to let him come but you know that nigga don't fucking listen to me half the time."
"That is true. So what else happened?"
"Oh well my daughter,Levi, and Chandler got shot."Carmen said in a nonchalant tone
I spit out my fucking wine and screamed. What the fuck happen? How did that happen? Who had a gun? Oh I already know Chandler did.
"Let me guess it was Chandler who had the gun" i said already knowing the answer.
"Girl you already know it. But once Chandler found out about the whole Zara situation he forreal blacked out I ain't never seen that happened nothing but once a long time ago. But nothing major happen they survived. Thank fucking god."
"Girl I'm speechless right now."
Shit I didn't know what to say. The fact that Chandler shot Alana and Levi had me thinking. Why did he shot the woman that he loves? Did he try to? Is Alana fucking Levi now, I mean I wouldn't put it past her.
"Girl but yeah that's what happened but I'm packing up right now I am so ready to go. I'll talk to you later."
"Aight girl. Bye"
I hung up the phone and sat there and processed all the information that I had just heard. Chandler shot Levi and Alana. Alana is now single well not for long Chandler probably all over that now. Wow! I laughed to myself and got up and got in the shower I couldn't wait to see Mariah tomorrow. It's been a week since I seen my daughter and I'm ready to get her back in my arms. After my shower I got into my bed and just laid there. I wanted to call Chandler but he will probably send me to voicemail again. Well guess I'll just call Levi.
"Oooh long time no speak. How are you baby mama?" Levi said making me roll my eyes
"I'm fine how are you? What happened down there?" I asked innocently.
"Drama that's what happened. What's up between Alana and Chandler?"
"You mean why did my husband leave me for our god child? He says it's because he so call loves her but I don't believe that shit."
"She has gotten fine." Levi said making me mad
Oh great another man that I been with wants to fuck her. I wanted to go off on him but for what reason he's not my man.
"Has she already tried to have sex with you?"
"No. I just said she's sexy."
Yeah right I don't believe that for one minute. He wouldn't have brought her up if he didn't want to start something with her or maybe he's just being an asshole for no reason. I was going to say something when I heard my text alert go off.
Zara: I got the results we will discuss this at home.
Chandler: oh boy okay
Levi: so I guess I'm coming to Arizona for a reason now
Me: okay baby I'm sorry this happened.
Zara: yeah okay.
*zara has left chat*
I haven't had the chance to talk to Zara one on one about the situation. She refused to talk about it she only wants to talk about everything else but who she belongs to. I know in my heart that she is Chandler's child but just my luck she will be Levi's.
"I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" I said to Levi
"Yeah. Bye baby mama."
"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" I said as I hung up my phone. Ugh I wish none of this happened all of this is my fault. Oh well nothing I can do about it now but to pray that Chandler is Zara's dad. If not I don't know what's going to happen between me and her.
******* THE NEXT DAY********
I woke up anxious as hell about Chandler coming home and the results of the paternity test. I couldn't eat and I barely slept last night so I was just drained. I got a call from Zara telling me that they were going to be home in two hours so I quickly got dressed and cleaned up the house. Once I finished cleaning I sat down and looked at the picture of Zara hanging up in the living room and just stared. I remember when she was born and Levi came and saw her and immediately asked for a DNA test but I told him no. I knew why he thought she was his but I don't want to admit the fact that she may be.
"Hey mama we back!" Zara yelled
I ran to the front door and hugged her and then grabbed Mariah from her. I looked around and realized Chandler wasn't here.
"Where's your dad?" I asked
"You already know he's with Lana. He said he'll be back later tonight him and Alana are settling back in"
"He's moving in with her?"
"I don't know probably." Zara shrugged as she walked upstairs to her room. I walked behind her to her room. I knew she was upset with me but I just wanted to talk to her about it.
"Where's your uncle Levi?"
"You mean my maybe daddy. Oh i don't know he had something to do but they all should be here later. Like I said the first time."
I sat down on her bed and patted it so she could sit next to me. She laid her head down on my shoulder and I hugged her and Mariah. I instantly started crying I felt so bad about this shit.
"Ma What's wrong? Is it dad and Alana?" Zara asked
"No. It's the situation with you, I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I should have done this years ago but I couldn't. I felt ashamed." I said as I wiped my tears away.
"It's okay ma. It's weird but I'll live I guess."
"Do you know the results?"
"No I couldn't open it. I told Alana she could do it for me."
"You invited her! Why would you do something like that?" I screamed
Zara rolled her eyes at me and ignored me. Just what I needed Alana and her smart ass mouth here during a sensitive time. I hate that bitch and I hate everything about her. She took my happiness and now she's going to enjoy watching me through my most embarrassing moment.
"Zara where are you!?" I heard Chandler screamed
"I'm coming! Let's get this shit show on the roll."
We both walked downstairs and I stopped and locked eyes with Chandler. He just looked at me with so much disgust and like he hated me. I wanted to cry because this wasn't the man that was in love with me for over two decades. Now Chandler could care less about me. A minute later I saw Alana walked into my house with Avery on her hip like she owned the place. She didn't even acknowledge me she just walked right past me and went upstairs.
"Really Chandler?" I snapped once she got out of ear range
"The hell is your problem now?" Chandler said
"This bitch walking through my house like she owns it and she ain't even acknowledged me!"
"This ain't your house it's mine. You better be glad you can still live here! Leave me the fuck alone about her I ain't gotta answer to you no more."
"Whatever but you ain't gotta talk to me like that! I'm still your wife!" I screamed
"Woooow you two calm down. We haven't even got the results and you two are already at each other throats." Levi said from behind us. He and chandler shook hands and made small talk completely ignoring me.
"Who let you in?" I said with an attitude.
"Zara." Levi said giving me the death stare
"Are y'all ready?" Alana said as she came from upstairs.
"Yeah." Zara and Chandler said in unison as they walked into the dining area.
Alana walked behind them and I saw Levi watch her as she walked away not caring if I saw or not. She looked over her shoulder and smiled then he winked at her and blew a kiss at her.
"You slept with her didn't you!" I whispered to Levi
"No. I haven't done anything with that girl. It's harmless flirting."
"Yeah harmless flirting is probably why you got shot in the shoulder. I can't wait to tell Chandler about this."
"Tell him about what? We ain't fuck or nothing she's obviously head over hill in love with Chandler. Shìt look at them." Levi said as he pointed towards Alana and Chandler.
Chandler had his arms around her hips and was kissing all over her face. She was giggling and smacking his hands away they just look happy. Instant jealousy came over me as I walked over to them and pulled her away from him.
"Ummm excuse you bitch!" Alana said
"Don't be disrespecting me in our house like I'm not here!" I screamed at Chandler
"Don't fucking grab her like that! And disrespect you how we not fucking together! You're only here cause I let you stay here!" Chandler screamed at me
"Chandler baby come on let's go in here. Touch me again and I'll punch you." Alana said to me before Chandler grabbed her hand and walked her the other way.
"Really mom. Get over it,it's over between y'all. I got enough drama going on and I need you to get yourself together."Zara said as she stormed off
"Classy." Levi smirked and followed Zara into the other room.
Way to go Mon! You just keeping making the day worse and worse for yourself. After getting my feelings together I walked into the area they were in and sat down at the table.  Zara was fumbling around with the paper and then she looked from me to Chandler and then Levi.
"Oh I can't open it!" zara yelled and.Zara gave Alana the paper.
"You want me to read it?" Alana asked
"Please."
Alana opened the paper and read it over with her face unreadable. I was so anxious and couldn't stand that she wasn't saying anything.
"The fuck does it say!" I yelled
"Don't get mad at me cause I know who my son's father is anyways Zara I'm so sorry."
"What? Levi is my dad isn't he?" Zara said
"Ha no Chandler is. Drama over!" Alana yelled said as she hugged Zara.
"Oh thank god! I'm sorry Levi but I couldn't imagine you being my dad."
"Good! Just continue to call me uncle Levi." Levi said as he gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"See Chandler Nothing to worry about. Okay i gotta go I'll be here for one more week and then Memphis maybe." Levi said only staring at Alana.
He didn't know that I was watching him but I was and he was saying something in code that only Alana knew because she nodded her head. Something is going on and I can't wait for it to blow over in her face. Maybe that'll wipe the smug look off her face. Well only time will tell.