Taking The Weight Off

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Please don't hang up, please don't hang up'

Camila could feel her heart hammering against her chest as what must only have been a few seconds dragged by like a lifetime

"Mila?" was the reply of a voice that sounded more than just a little surprised to be hearing from her.

"Hi" she croaked, her throat constricting at the sound of his oh so familiar celtic tones. She had always felt safe with Niall and safe was definitely what she longed to feel now.

'Please don't be distant, please don't hate me!'

Again a lifetime passed by...

"So... they pushed you off the stage hu, they must be pretty pissed off"

'Niall Horan I love you more than life its self!'

"Where you been? You've been ignoring my calls"

Camila had expected this to be Nialls first question, She was sure that she didn't have to explain her sudden disappearance, Niall had known her long enough to understand the complexity of her relationship with Shawn and her bitter regrets over it's breakdown. He would also understand that seeing Shawn take Hailey in his arms that day would have crushed her and that was the reason she had turned and ran, promising herself that she never wanted to see either of them ever again!

The explanation and apology she did owe to Nial though, was for cutting him out of her life ever since.

'Where do I start?'

"Niall, I'm so sorry. I've been a terrible friend!"

Niall was shocked by the emotion in Camilas voice. He'd known her since she were 16 years old. They had met at some awards show or other, he couldn't remember which but Niall had fallen in love with her instantly; she on the other hand had kicked him in an unmentionable place when he had teased her about her height, slightly harder than she had intended.

Niall grimaced at the memory and unconsciously reached south.

Feisty, that was the Camila he knew and loved, but hearing her now reminded him of just how tiny and fragile she could also be, how her mind was constantly a point of torment to her.

Part of him ached to rush down to L.A immediately, if only to hug her and assure her that everything would be okay. Instead, he lowered his eyebrows as he asked...

"What's going on Mila?"

Camila pulled a breath into her chest before trying her hardest to explain something she could barely make sense of herself

"Since I left the band I haven't exactly been myself" she was still struggling for the right words when his reply caught her completely off guard.

"I understand"

'Does he?!'

Camila barely kept hold of the receiver has his words hit her like blows.

Could Niall really know what she'd been going through recently?!

"Really, Mila, I understand it, I promise"

Did he? But how? How could he? How could anyone?

"Of course I do, I know it's not exactly the same situation but when my band decided to go our separate ways I was shitting myself. Yes we made the decision together and yes we knew it was the right thing to do but it was still a huge risk, it was the biggest gamble of our lives there was so much at stake and not just for the 4 of us but all of the people around us. If we couldn't make it as solo artists then it wasn't just us that would suffer the consequences"

He did know, of course he knew. Why hadn't she considered it earlier?

The sense of relief Camila felt was immeasurable.

'I'm not going crazy! I'm completely normal!..' .

Well maybe not completely normal but as normal as Niall had been in this situation and that was good enough for her.

"Why didn't you call, we could have discussed all of this you could have made this OK for me like you always do" she didn't even try to disguise the excitement in her voice.

"I did call Mila, why didn't you ever pick up?"

1 point to the clever clogs with the cute Irish accent

Camila smiled, feeling as though a little bit of the weight that had been suffocating her had been lifted. Her thoughts, her concerns, they were normal in this situation, they were... Okay.

"Have you spoken to Shawn about this? I mean he has left his record label right? The chances are he's been going through something similar... "

She hadn't meant to sound so eager when bringing Shawns name into the conversation and now blushed as Niall let out a small, knowing laugh, thee was something darker there too and Camila understood it, they just didn't talk about it.

"Look Camila, there's something you should know about me and Shawn..."

"Oh God, I really hope we're not about to have a 'Jeremy Kyle moment' here Niall, or believe me I will have to kick your ass!"

"...A what?"

Camila sighed, despairing of her friend and his complete ignorance of English popular culture.

"You know, instead of telling me now you take me on to national T.V where you announce to the world that you are in love with my boyfriend. You and Shawn then come out holding hands, I scream and shout, the audience boos and calls you both dogs and Jeremy shakes his head disapprovingly"

Camila shuddered slightly at the picture she had just created in her mind and she could imagine Niall squirming at the thought of him and Shawn as a romantic couple.

"To quote yourself... ew gross!"

Camila giggled hysterically at her friends manly voice attempting to sound girly... and failing miserably. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt so relaxed.

"I hate you Mila, you have forever violated my mind with images of Shawn and I holding hands" it was Nialls turn to shudder as he tried to block out the vivid scene Camila had just painted for him

"You mean that wasn't what you were going to say?" Camila asked innocently whilst trying to hold down another giggle.

When Niall next spoke he left Camila in no doubt that the time for jokes had passed. She chewed nervously on her bottom lip as his voice cut in, dark and serious.

"Mila, something happened after you left, between Shawn and I but before we get in to it there's something I need to inform you of, I slight slip of the tongue if you like, on your behalf"

"What's that?"

"He's your EX-boyfriend darlin, remember?"

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