FNAF on Drugs: Bonnie on Crack, 5 Nerds at Freddy's, and other jacked-up stories

Nerds on Ice

ONE LOVELY DAY AT THE ICE-SKATING RINK:
Freddy: Remind me again why you brought us here?
Author: Because this is FUN!
Foxy: Yarr... I hate to break it to ye, -Author, but... *holds up a pair of skates* There's literally no way I can pull this off.
Author: Sure there is! *tightens her pair of black ice skates* You guys ready?
(Naz, Human , Lauren, and Clueless stand up, all wearing a pair of rental skates.)
Other four Nerds: Yup!
Author: Perfect! Get out there! *Shoves her friends and animatronics onto the ice*
Chica: Woah! *falls on her face*
Bonnie: Out of the way, Chic-AH! *falls on top of Chica*
Foxy: You two are idiots! *steps right over the rabbit and duck-er, chicken*
Freddy and Goldie: Let's hope this works. *steps out onto the ice*
Lauren (skating around): This is awesome!
Naz: Agreed!
Clueless: Wheeeeeeeee~....!
(Author is quietly skating laps with her earbuds plugged in to her iPod)
Foxy: Well, whaddaya know? She's actually being quiet.
Author (skates over and pops Foxy in the jaw): Shut it. I'm in my happy place. *skates away*
Foxy (bursts out laughing): NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL!!!
Author: Shut up, Cami.
(Freddy starts skating around like a professional figure skater)
Lauren: Jeez, Freddy, you can skate? I didn't think the ice could hold up your weigh! Hahahahaha!
Freddy: Why, you little...-
Lauren: Some people are poets and they don't even know it! *skates off laughing with Freddy in the wake*
Goldie (teleporting around the ice): Get em Freddy, get em!
Clueless (points at Goldie): HE F***ING CHEATED!!!
(The Nerds start firing machine guns at Goldie)
Goldie: WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!
Author: YOU BLASTED CHEATER!!!
Bonnie (checks the Nerds' ammo levels): Hey Chica, what does this counter say about her power levels?
Chica: Pizza?
Bonnie: No! It's OVER 9,000!!!!
Foxy: WHAT?! IMPOSSIBLE
*Ice rink blows up*
THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!