Not In That Way - Lauren Jauregui/You *in editing*

chapter 20.

A/N: From now on is it okay if i refer to Y/N as she as sometimes i feel like saying Y/N all the time gets a little confusing and weird as you wouldn't say someones name in a conversation that much...

--
TWO WEEKS LATER:
MIAMI:

"I'm not sure really sure how to say what I'm about to say. I've tried to record this at least ten times already but each time I get scared or I stutter and slur my words. I know being in the position I am in means that people tend to know a lot about my private life, but there is one big thing that not many people know. I identify as Bisexual and the only reason I'm making this video is to clear that up and also to say that because of me hiding who I am I managed to lose the person I loved the most as they thought I didn't really love them because we weren't public with our relationship. Y/L/N I love you, I think I always have and I know I always will. I know you probably never want to see me again and that's my fault but I'm sorry and I love you."
I switched off the camera and paused for a moment to decide, do I really want to do this? It could ruin everything.
I stood and made my way to the kitchen and got myself some orange juice before returning to the living room where my sister was now.

"Are you going to do it?" She asked.

"I filmed it, I'm just scared of uploading it." I answered truthfully.

"What are you so scared of?" Taylor returned, I took a seat on the couch next to her.

"Of the backlash, everybody's going to have something to say and it's not all going to be positive." I responded.

"Lauren, you have been in the business for years now, you shouldn't care what people say because nothing anybody says or does will change or stop how you feel about Y/N so upload the damn video and show Y/N you are ready to commit, publicly." Taylor told me and I opened my laptop and plugged my camera in ready to upload the video to youtube.

"I know but what if Y/N completely rejects me and doesn't want to be do with me ever again because she has a great new life in Sydney now." I spoke voicing my concerns.

"Lauren, its all going to be fine. Post the video." Taylor practically demanded.

--

SYDNEY:

Your P.O.V

I loved everything about Sydney, I loved how it was during the day, I loved how it came alive at night, I loved the people. I loved college, I never thought I could really enjoy learning but apparently I was wrong, I've made lots of friends who are all just such genuine people.

I have been back for two weeks now and I haven't thought about Lauren once, I feel as though this might be the start of me getting over her, Eva and I have been texting a lot but I don't want a relationship. In fact I'm really enjoying being single in Sydney, I can go out and meet new people whenever I want, there's no drama in my life and I feel free.

--

I saw Lauren's video, I'm glad she has finally told the world who she is but if she thinks I'm going to take her back, she's wrong. I want to start a new life in Sydney, I still want, Kyle, her and the rest of the girls in my life but I don't want her in my life in that way. Right now I just want to focus on me, my family, my friends and my studies.

I'm not even too sure if Lauren is classed as a friend anymore, she's more like family. When we were together it almost felt like we were an old married couple who were looking back on all the things that made their relationship stronger, and what made it last and the obstacles that got put in our way. I was happy whenever I was with Lauren, but now I've realised I don't need other people to make me happy, sure they can contribute to my happiness but the only person who will always make me happy is myself.