Not In That Way - Lauren Jauregui/You *in editing*

chapter 24.

A/N: this will probably be the most anti climatic thing ever.

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"YOU CAN'T BE DEAD!!" I repeated as I looked down at the still girl beneath me.

Where was the ambulance?

WHY WASN'T ANYONE DOING ANYTHING?

"Eva listen to me. You need to wake up, you have to wake up." I begged but it was pointless. I think she was gone...

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The ambulance let me go to the hospital with Eva and it was one of the worst journeys of my life. Seeing someone so important to me in pain broke me. I wish I could swap places with her. She doesn't deserve this!

IT'S NOT FAIR!

It's all my fault. Why couldn't I of held onto Lily for a few more seconds because if I did Eva would be okay.

"Is she going to be okay?" I asked one if the paramedics after the doctors took Eva away.
"It's too early to tell if she'll make a full recovery. I'm afraid it's not looking good though, I'm so sorry." The paramedic spoke sincerely before walking away.

What if she doesn't live or make a full recovery. I've ruined her life.

I sat around in the waiting room for what felt like hours, I just sat there watching the minutes pass on the clock. It felt like forever had passed when a doctor finally approached me.

"Is she okay?" I asked desperately as soon as the woman sat besides me.
"We had to rush her into emergency surgery because of the trauma to her head, luckily there were no signs of any sort of bleed on the brain. However, she has got some bad damage to the lower half of her vertebral column which means she can't control movement from her waist down." The doctor informed.
"She's paralysed?" I questioned, tears were starting to fill my eyes.
"We can't be sure if it's permanent or not right now. We will have to wait until she wakes up later." She continued. I felt like shit. It's all my fault, It should be me.

I have ruined her life. I have ruined her life. It's all my fault. She might never walk again.

"If it is permanent will she be able to have children?" I know I'm not sure of Eva's wishes and obviously I wouldn't be having children with her but in the future she may want them and I could've ruined that for her.

I should make a list of all the things that I have ruined.

"It would be too early too tell but it would probably be likely that she would be infertile because of the force that she was hit." The doctor placed a hand on my shoulder.
"I know it's easy to blame yourself for what happened but it really wasn't your fault, your younger sisters fault or anyone's fault for that matter. These things happen and Eva is going to need her best friend and if the worst case scenario does happen then the way it has to be viewed is that, at least she's got her life." The doctor tried to comfort me but nothing was going to calm my guilty conscience.
"What if she doesn't want to live life like that. I know I wouldn't." I told her.
"You can say that but you can't say what you would and wouldn't want unless you were in that position. If it was you in that bed you may think differently than to what you do now." The woman, who looked to be in her mid-thirties said. I hadn't really looked at her until now.
She had beach blonde hair that was shoulder length, she was wearing red lipstick, her forehead showed the forming of slight creasing that could be from age or the stress of working such long hours in a demanding job.
"Do you know of any family that we could get in contact with?" The doctor questioned.
"Honestly, she's never mentioned any family. I think she lives by herself. She has a girlfriend who's out here currently. I could contact her." I told. It's weird because Eva and I were close but she had never mentioned any family to my knowledge anyway.