Not In That Way - Lauren Jauregui/You *in editing*

chapter 7.

I haven't spoken to Lauren since the day she told me that her and the girls were going on a world tour, I mean of course I was happy for her but now she would be even further away from me. That is until tomorrow when they come to New York, honestly I'm dreading it.

And of course my best friend from NYU had to get me tickets, the problem is Kyle also knows Lauren so she agreed to get us backstage passes. I was informed by Kyle that it would be a great opportunity to go get my girl, I am seriously not looking forward to this at all.

--

"Kyle I don't want to do this, can we please just go home?" I asked as he was dragging me backstage after the girls had finished performing.

"Uhm...no." He said as he continued dragging me along even faster until he bumped into someone.

"I'll leave you two alone for a little bit." He said before running off.

"Hi." She said awkwardly.

"Hey." I replied just as awkward.

"Can we go and talk somewhere a little more private?" Lauren asked grabbing my hand.

"Sure, how long are you here for?" I questioned.

"Until tomorrow night, why?" She asked confused.

"Ask if you can stay the night at my apartment because we have a lot to talk about." I said firmly.

--

"Nice place." Lauren complimented as soon as stepped inside.

"You can sit down you know." I joke noticing how awkward she looked.

"I missed you." She said as we both sat on my couch.

"I missed you too, I'm sorry for leaving you and ignoring you again." I replied.

"I'm sorry for leaving also, somedays I miss you so much that I wish I could have my old life back just so I could be with you." She said and I took ahold of her hand.

"I wanna be with you." She said after a minute of silence.

"I want to be with you too." I confessed.

Lauren cupped my cheek with her hand and slowly started leaning in.

Soon enough our lips are connected and they are moving in sync, its like our lips were made to be together. The kiss was fuelled with so much love and passion and lust.

"What if Kyle comes home?" She says as I start to lead her to my room.

"I don't think we need to worry about that he's staying at his boyfriends apartment tonight." I replied.

"Good." She responded with a smirk before connecting our lips once again.

--

"I'm sorry your first time wasn't special like you hoped it would be." I said whilst laying my head on Lauren's chest.

"What are you even saying. Of course it was special, actually it was perfect because it was with you." She said.

I kissed her lips and eventually she fell asleep, I just laid there and watched her, not it a creepy way but more of in a loving way.

She's so beautiful in every single way possible.

"I love you." I whispered before falling asleep.

--

"Babe wake up." I heard Lauren say and I smiled at how she called me babe.

"Morning." I said getting out of bed.

"Is Kyle back yet?" I questioned.

"I don't think so." She responded.

"I need to ask you something, and it's something I had wanted to ask you for a while now." She says and I start to get nervous.

"Okay ask away." I respond.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" She asks with a look of hope and love in her eyes.

"I'm...I can't." I say and her face falls.

"Why not, what is stopping us now?" She says looking directly into my eyes.

"You being away on tour for like another five months and then you will go home to Miami and I will probably still be here. Look yesterday was amazing and I wouldn't change it for the world but it would be too difficult so I think we both just need to move on." I say tears threatening to spill from my eyes.

"I need to go." She says rushing over to the door.

"Lauren I will always love you, please just remember that." I say blocking her way.

"I love you too." She says and I lean in but she turns her head so I only kiss her cheek.

"Goodbye Y/N, I don't know if I will ever see you again so I guess this is goodbye, forever." She said leaving.

"Don't say that, please don't say that." I say catching up to her in the hallway and putting my hand on the side of her face, pulling her in.

Our lips connect for what could possibly be the last time.

"I love you." I yell as she walks away.

Why do I have to fuck everything up, I finally had the chance to be with the love of my life and I said no.

A/N: this is shit and I'm sorry.